Holding Back
by Daikeru Insanity
Summary: Takeru and Yamato move to Odaiba for their Dads' job. Takeru meets Daisuke and as their friendship grows, Takeru begins to feel strange feelings, but there is something holding back what could be a beautiful relationship - what could it be? Boy x boy
1. Prologue: Home Is Where The Heart Is

_**Holding Back** by **Daikeru Insanity**_

_My first fic being written here :D Hope everything goes well, and that this story will be enjoyed._

__Yaoi, boy x boy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!__

_Disclaimer: I can comfortably say that I do not own Digimon, or anything to do with Digimon. If I did, I wouldn't need to write this as I'd have my own little non-fictional story with T.K. xD_

_Oh yeah, and I also do not own the song "How To Save A Life", The Fray do – I know I stated that but better safe than sorry..._

_On with the fic! :)_

_EDIT: Yeah, I edited out some of the separating "xXxXx" bits since they were out of place (Thanks Takato the Dreamer for pointing that out :P). Now they're just gonna be used for when there is a significant change to the train of thought or when there's a new location or POV :)_

_EDIT 2: Oh my god...I can't believe what a fool I am, writing "Goodbye Odaiba..." when they are going there -.- Fixed now though...yikes_

_EDIT 3: FML. Ok this is my first fic, so I don't know really what I'm doing, but as I edit my chapters after publishing, I didn't realize that I needed to effectively sync them with the posted chapters -.- Anyway, NOW the changes that I've been talking about have been made..._

_EDIT 4: Punctuation seriously edited so should all be good now :)  
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_Prologue: Introducing Takeru_

_'Home Is Where The Heart Is'_

_(Narrator POV)_

The bright light was creeping in through the large square window, which was positioned adjacent to the blue, inhabited bed of the room. The sudden attack by mother nature caused the (up until now peacefully) sleeping blond to stir, rather begrudgingly too...

Deciding to risk a quick glance, the groggy teenage male lifted a single eyelid, gazed over to his alarm clock, and after processing the information provided to him, he produced a glare of death in the direction of the device, as if almost to say _'You had better be lying to me...'. _He had found out exactly what he wished was false – it was morning.

After finally – with much effort – dragging himself out of his warm, comfortable haven, the sleepy blond positioned himself in front of his mirror and analyzed his appearance: Slouched stance, bags under his eyes, and a **major** case of bedhead... Since going back to sleep was out of the question, a shower would have to do the trick, and wake him up! So the boy proceeded to revel in the warmth and refreshment of his hot shower, until he finally submitted to the fact that he should be getting out, and dressed – today was not a day to be running behind schedule.

The slightly more awake teen now returned to his bedroom and dressed himself in the only set of clothes left in his room, as all his other clothes and possessions were currently packed away in boxes and suitcases by the front door, labeled _'Takeru' _so that he knew what was his. The boy moved slowly out from his room, and towards the kitchen of the small apartment where he then sat down to a most agreeable breakfast of bacon and eggs.

_'Today's the day...' _he thought, as he raised a fork full of egg to his mouth.

(_Takeru's POV)_

My name is Takeru Takaishi, and I'm 16 years old, currently living in Tokushima, but in case you haven't yet noticed, that won't be for much longer. I've known about the move for a while now, so I've had time to prepare myself for it.

Dad came home from work about 3 months ago, and sat my brother and I down in the kitchen to tell us. He said that the media company that he's been working for had offered him a pretty huge promotion, with a position at their headquarters in Odaiba! Obviously we were thrilled for our father, and supported his decision to go, but we were still upset that we would have to leave our lives in Tokushima behind. Yamato, my brother, or 'Matt' as I like to shorten it to, was a lot more upset than I was however.

He was just about to move into his senior year at high school, which of course was the best and wildest year you'll have before leaving for college, and now he was starting the year as a senior in a school full of people he didn't know. Matt was also quite upset about having to leave his band-mates behind. I can never understand why though, they **sucked**. He'll find better musicians in Odaiba, I'm sure.

My brother and I are a lot alike in many ways, and anyone who sees us can instantly tell we're related. He has the characteristic blonde hair and blue eyes that is in abundance along our family tree. Neither of us are athletic, we're rather lanky and non-muscular in fact. My interests lie in my reading and writing, while Matt prefers to just stick with his music. I've always loved hearing him play guitar – ever since I was younger than I remember, and the sound of his music always provided me with a calm, and soothing environment. It was perfect for whenever I was feeling frightened or upset.

Recently, after Matt overheard me singing (rather loudly I should point out...) in the house, he started coaching me on singing as he said I have a great voice, which I should consider displaying with a band. _The whole situation was rather embarrassing actually..._but Matt made me promise to consider taking my singing further when we moved.

Oh right! I got sidetracked and completely forgot about that...

I guess I've been trying to ignore the fact that we were moving as I now understood fully just how much I was going to miss all my friends here. I was abruptly pulled from my thoughts though, as my cell phone started to vibrate in the pocket of my jeans. I retrieved the phone to view the text:

"_Hey, hope you settle into your new life in Odaiba and enjoy being there! I'll miss you, don't become a stranger now, you hear me? xx" - Sophie_

A gentle smile had spread across my face as I read, and instantly replied to her text. Sophie was my ex-girlfriend, and perhaps the sweetest girl you could ever meet!

About a week after hearing the news of the move, Sophie and I mutually decided to end things. I think neither of us were keen on the idea of a long term relationship so we just decided that we would see other people.

It was kind of a relief actually, if I'm honest. Don't jump to the wrong conclusions though! Sophie is the greatest girl I've ever known, I trust her with my life, I enjoy spending time with her, and I love her. But that love is on the same level as feelings one has towards a sister...

After our friends had set out to get us together (We were just _'so too cute for words'_ according to one of the girls in our group – I rolled my eyes at the memory and smiled), we had lasted for roughly four months and I was happy in that time, believe me! We did all the couple-y stuff, as in go on dates, hold hands, kiss etc (Kissing was as far as we went though). But I never really felt any big sparks like you hear about in the movies. There were never _'exploding fireworks'_ or _'butterflies in my stomach' _ whenever we kissed or were together. To me, we were simply good **friends**.

That point made me wonder too...Sophie, was beautiful, smart, kind, funny and everything else that you would look for in a girlfriend. She could say 'jump', and three quarters of the schools male population would already be in the air – so why couldn't I bring myself to feel more than friendship for her?

It was an odd point which I had raised within myself, and I had to wonder...but I just tried to ignore it, as I figured that although I wasn't really ever attracted to the girls in Tokushima, I wasn't attracted to any of the boys here either, just in case you were getting the wrong idea.

"Guess I'll just wait and see what Odaiba has to offer" I muttered under my breath, smiling again slightly as I slipped my cell phone away, pushing thoughts of Sophie out of my mind for the time being.

xXxXxXxXx

I had finished my breakfast rather quickly – Dad wanted to get going ASAP so that we didn't get held up by traffic. The next forty-five minutes were spent gathering the last of our possessions and making sure nothing was forgotten before we left. The time to leave Tokushima arrived sooner than I had hoped, not that I wanted it to arrive at all, but you know what I mean. Dad and Matt carried their boxes down in the lift and to the movers van, while I stayed behind for just another minute.

I stood at the door to our apartment, and just gazed in, feeling the built up sorrow of leaving beginning to over power me.

I felt a single, cold tear run down my cheek, and that drop of water expressed just how I felt about the move – in a far stronger way than any words ever could. I flicked the lights off and finally closed the apartment door. Just before I reached the lift, I turned for one final time and whispered to myself, but yet also to the whole world at the same time;

'Goodbye Tokushima. Goodbye Old life.'

xXxXxXxXx

It was like someone had aimed a giant remote at our car, and pressed mute... The silence wasn't awkward however, it was more...reflective. It was like we all knew what each other was thinking:

_'We don't think we'll be able to adjust to a new home...but we **will**.' _

_'We don't think we'll be able to make new lifes, with new people...but we **will**.'_

_'We didn't want to leave...but we **were**.' _

The silence was too much to handle, I was suffocating in the air of unspoken emotions. I plugged my headphones into my phone, and after inserting the earpieces into position, I scrolled through my music list. I didn't see the point in having a phone **and **a music player like an iPod, when one device could fulfill both functions. I finally selected _'How To Save A Life' _by '_The Fray'_. The song didn't have any particular relevance, but it was just a song I always listened to when I was feeling down, as I had discovered it calmed me, and helped separate me from my problems, despite ironically being a sad song itself.

Matt sat next to me in the back seat and was busying himself with a pad and pen. _'Probably using this whole trip as an opportunity to write a new song' _I thought to myself. That was Matt's style after all – the only time he ever let people show how he was truly feeling, was through song, and even then he would never admit to it.

I was fighting off the silence in the car for our whole trip with my music, as I just stared out of the car window, never looking at anything in particular. I occasionally glanced out of the back window, just to be sure the movers van was still following us, which it always was.

Despite my bitterness towards my early wake up, I couldn't find it within myself to sleep, not when I was aware of the drastic change to my life rapidly taking place.

xXxXxXxXx

After what seemed like an eternity of traveling, Odaiba had finally come into view! This city was larger than Tokushima, but not by too much. Apartment and office buildings were all in fierce competition with one another to reach the highest in all the land, although that scene could be found in any other major city in Japan...The overall quality of the housing, shops and well...life in general I suppose seemed high here – not like upper class but people here were clearly doing alright for themselves, so maybe it won't be such a terrible place to live.

The roads wound and snaked their way through the city, and after traveling for about 10 minutes through Odaiba, we were driving past this huge building with several large, black satellite dishes and tall antennae protruding from the roof;

"That's where I'll be working, starting tomorrow boys!" Dad beamed at us, trying to spark some happiness in the car.

Matt and I smiled back at our dad and he continued to headline the conversation, telling us all about the different sorts of jobs he'd be handling now, what with his promotion and all. I kept on smiling, but found myself unable to fully pay attention, and I assumed Matt was doing the same.

This dynamic continued until we finally reached our street and the car was brought to a halt right outside our new home. Matt whistled in approval upon the sight of the house, and dad grew a wide smile. Even I had to admit, with the look of this place, dad got one hell of a promotion! I'm not saying the place was the White House, but it was much bigger than our apartment back in Tokushima, and looked big enough to us to live in, and then some! We retrieved all of our stuff from the car and van, then placed it just in front of the door. Dad searched tentatively through his pockets, giving a sigh of relief when he finally found the key to our house. After inserting and turning the key, a click was heard and dad threw the door open, to allow the three of us to take in the sight of where we would now be living.

"Welcome to your new life in Odaiba, boys!"

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC_

_A/N: _

_So there's the Prologue for you guys, part of me felt like it was a prologue and a Chapter 1 but hey, that's life! I'll hopefully get some reviews (all criticism – except pointlessly rude – is welcome :D) and then continue to write the rest!_

_That's the first part of my first fic written! I feel all tingly :P It may not have been that great and don't worry, the Daikeru will come, all in good time._

_Hopefully it all made sense and hopefully my tenses weren't too all over the place, if so, review me and let me know :)_


	2. A New Beginning

_**Holding Back** by **Daikeru Insanity**_

_So here we are again, the second (first) chapter of my first fic! Yay!_

__Yaoi, boy x boy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!__

_Thanks to the people who reviewed and favourited already, despite the fact that nothing has happened xD_

_This chapter is pretty much dedicated to...well they'll figure it out, I hope (doesn't help that we have the same name) xD_

_Disclaimer: Oh yeah, I got contacted and it was decided that since I'm such an amazing writer, I will now get to own Digimon!...Ok yeah, I still don't own Digimon or anything related to it – T.K. will be mine one day though!_

_And yes, I know I'll probably be going mad with small tense shifts but gimme some slack, it works (I hope) xD_

_Read & Review please :) Constructive criticism encouraged!_

_Just did MAJOR punctuation edit so hopefully it's all good now :D  
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_On with the fic!_

_Chapter 1_

_'A New Beginning'_

_(Takeru's POV)_

"Welcome to your new life in Odaiba, boys!"

_'Well erm...wow!'_. Yep, that's about all I could muster up at that point. Our new home had taken me completely by surprise! The house wasn't 'huge', and our old apartment wasn't exactly 'small', but there was a significant enough size difference to impress the three of us.

The house had an impressive four bedrooms, with three upstairs (One would be mine, one would be Matt's and the last would be a guest room) and one downstairs (for dad). There were also two large bathrooms, again spanning the two levels of the house, with both possessing walk-in showers, sinks and toilets. The downstairs bathroom also had a bath for use. I was ecstatic that there were two bathrooms because back in Tokushima, if Matt managed to get up before me to use the shower, I wasn't having one that morning...Not if I wanted to get to school before lunch that is.

Our decent sized living-room sported a black leather couch and armchair with a wide-screen TV on the wall facing the seats. _'We've been here what, five minutes and dad already has our old TV fitted?' _I let out a small sigh to accompany the thought.

Finally there was our kitchen. It came with a white, tiled floor and held the fridge-freezer in one of the corners, with the microwave and toaster in an opposing corner. Between the two was the oven/grill and a large dining table covered in blue cloth was this final rooms center-piece.

After admiring his job of installing the TV, dad pretty much went straight to bed, taking all his work stuff with him, clearly looking forward to his new promotion tomorrow. _'The man's a workaholic...he'll probably be up till 4am wetting himself over the excitement of his new position'. _I chuckled to myself visualizing the scene. Matt and I were left to our own devices, so we decided to satisfy our growing hunger with pizza from a local take-out place since menus were left by the previous owners. After we had eaten and enjoyed our meal, we had each collected our boxed belongings and proceeded to our agreed upon rooms. Matt got the largest since he needs more room for all of his music equipment, or so he says..._'The fact that Matt has enough clothes to put most girls to shame obviously has **nothing** to do with it...'_. I'm not really bitter, I just enjoy sarcasm at my brother's expense.

I unpacked everything for school the next day as well as my toiletries (toothbrush/paste, comb, deodorant etc) before collapsing onto my large blue bed (to match my royal blue painted room). _'The rest of my junk can wait...I'm tired, and no one at school will be friendly or chipper enough to come into contact with a sleep deprived Takeru and come out unscathed.'_

_'No really, It's **that **bad...'_

xXxXxXxXx

_'Ugh, why does school have to be so early? If it started at 12 I could actually wake up happy...ish. Wait, why is my face all cold and wet? My hand too...Cream? What the..._

_Matt. I can hear him laughing right now in his room. He actually used the feather and cream trick? Lame, though I did fall for it. Damn.'_

After finally dragging myself out of bed and enjoying a (thanks to Matt) much needed shower, I returned to my room to get dressed and ready. With a towel round my waist still, I examined the clothes I had lain out the night before for my first day of school. A long sleeved yellow and green t-shirt, a pair of green khaki shorts and a pair of green trainers. Perfect. I slipped the towel off, and slipped the clothes on, while I also ensured that my hair was exactly the way I wanted it (though I wasn't as obsessive as Matt of course), the only thought left concerning clothing was _'Hat, or no Hat?'_ I was pulled out of my life threatening dilemma by the smell of toast from downstairs. I left my room immediately to go eat, hunger rapidly building, before running back in and swiping my item from the bedside table.

_'Hat.'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Narrator's POV)_

As the younger blond sat down to enjoy the jam on toast left for him on the kitchen table, the older one turned his attention away from the toaster to give his little brother a wide smile, whilst trying to act as innocent as possible.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Matt obviously threw in the extra 'chipper' in the hopes of attaining maximum irritation

"Bite me." Mission accomplished. The annoyance was clear in the stern reply given, accompanied with a standard Takeru 'glare of death'.

"You got that glare off me, you know?" His brother questioned rhetorically, with a matter-of-fact tone.

Takeru snorted at that comment before replying. "Get used to it, that was not a fun way to wake up."

"Whatever do you mean?" Matt retorted, putting on the best clueless face he could muster, whilst over dramatizing every syllable.

This morning rally continued for another five minutes while the brothers finished their toast, cleared up and prepared for school. Since Matt was a senior, he could still walk with Takeru for this last year. Their trip was silent other than for Matt telling his brother that their father would be home late from work. Takeru rolled his eyes;

"What else is new?"

After about a ten minute walk, the two teenagers finally approached their new secondary school, 'Odaiba Academy'. The grounds were crowded with students of varying ages, and it was surprising that anyone could even hear themselves think above the noise being produced, much less hear the bell scream at them.

Yet they did, and the sound obviously signaled that first class was starting so the two brothers parted ways just inside the school's main doors.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

_'Crap crap crap! I said goodbye to Matt and went off to my Algebra class, only to realize that I don't actually know where it is! Hold on...room 31? Yes, finally found it!_

After two knocks on the door, I enter the room, and of course everyone's staring at me...great. The teacher looks at me with curiosity, obviously not having a clue who I am. Oh yeah, I'm late, maybe that's the reason I'm getting a funny look.

"Sorry I'm late sir, I kinda...got lost." I admit.

"Hmm, and you are..?" He responds, giving me the once over with his eyes.

"Takeru Takashi sir" I bow as I introduce myself.

"Takashi eh?" The man dressed almost completely in corduroy picks up a list from his desk and begins to scan through its contents. "Ah! Here you are, just transferred from Tokushima, am I correct?"

"Yes sir."

"Then welcome to Algebra! My name is Mr Minato, but call me Mr M if you prefer. Please, take a seat." Mr M instructed with a kind smile, as he motioned for me to sit down next to the window near the back. I nodded towards the teacher and took my chair. The lesson began, and I was only half paying attention. Mr M wasn't boring or anything, but I was quite nervous as I looked around the room, wondering what everyone would think about me and curious if I would make any friends here. All the students were listening intently, apart from the boy sitting in front of me, he was slouched with head on hand, staring out the window. He has on a light blue t-shirt with jeans that match in colour, and a pair of blue converse. There is a black leather like jacket over the back of his seat. He's clearly tanned, and with a mass of burgundy, spiked hair atop his head. From this angle, I could just see the colour of his eyes – a chocolatey brown. Though I couldn't place a finger on it, something about this boy was different, intriguing even.

_'What am I talking about, I haven't even spoken to the dude!' _Hmm, maybe I should listen to myself for once.

Algebra, and my next class, World History went fairly well. I haven't really spoken to anyone, all I got was a couple of 'Welcome's from students as they passed me in class. I did have a brief conversation with this one purple haired girl, Miyako I believe her name was. She was rather hyper-active, and seemed to go on and on about herself (despite the fact that **I'm **the new, mysterious student). I wasn't complaining though, at least she was friendly towards me. The bell finally rang, telling us all that lunch had finally come, and that we could escape the torture that is World History. I am really not bothered about the German Confederation...

xXxXxXxXx

Ok, lunch time, I just escaped from the death trap that is the queue for food, and I have pizza in hand. Oh great, guess I need to find somewhere to sit eh? I look out across the dining hall and can't help but notice all of the social circles that are already easy to spot: Jocks in the back, popular girls in one of the corners, next to the jocks, musicians over by the window and the dubbed 'geeks' in the center. I couldn't help but chuckle at the oh-so-obvious social divide.

_'Wow, all this place needs is for someone to jump on a table in spontaneous song and we can film the next High School Musical...But that doesn't help me find a seat. Hold on, I recognize him from Algebra...'_

Sure enough, sitting on his own at a table near the doors, was the burgundy haired boy from Algebra. _'Hmm, that looks like a good a place as any to sit. Go!' _My brain stated, egging me on. As I walked over to his table from behind him, I noticed that he was actually on his cell phone at the time, and I could hear clearly what he was saying, despite the noise of the feasting gang of teenagers present.

"...Does that include...um, Archie?" was the first thing I heard the boy say, hesitation in his voice. I shouldn't even be listening to this conversation but I can't help myself – like I thought in Algebra, there's something intriguing about this guy.

"Not a chance in hell." Assertive this time, all previous hesitation gone.

"No I don't...It isn't that easy Dan!" He's becoming noticeably agitated, now I **really **hope he doesn't catch me listening!

"Hold on, how the hell did you even get my number? I didn't give my new number to anyone when I left!...Akiyama is a dead man. Either way, I'm not going." Tanned hands move through his hair in frustration.

"Look I'm sorry, but it'd just be too hard, talk to you later...Thanks Daniel, bye." He hung up then on 'Daniel', managing to sigh and growl simultaneously. Guess now is my chance to grab a seat...

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

_'Ick. Food in this place sucks, they really need to hire a better cook. And where the hell are those guys? Ah well, I'll just have to entertain myself for now. Hmm, what's that sound?'_

*Ring* *Ring* Must be my cell, I pull it from my jeans pocket and examine the caller ID;

"Unknown number? What the hell...Hello?" I query as I answer.

"Long time no speak, superstar!" Oh god, only one person would ever call me superstar...besides my mom, and that's my former soccer team-mate, Daniel. And he's right, must be about what, almost six months now since we last emailed each other? Wow.

"Daniel? To what do I owe this **rare** honor?" He clearly picked up on my implication as I can hear him chuckling on the other end.

"Okay okay, I get it, we haven't spoken recently, but that's both our faults! Besides, this call fixes that now right?" I can practically hear his grin and one forms on my own face.

"Yeah, I guess so, what's up Dan?" I respond. _'Gotta admit, for trying to block everyone from Tokyo High out, it feels good to hear Daniel's voice again.'_

"Not a lot, but I am having a party at my place next month! Everyone from our sophomore year is gonna be there, so I expect you to get your butt over here!" He informs me, giddy as a school girl. For the first split second upon hearing that, I was quite liking the idea. Then my heart sinks as I realize that 'everyone' would imply the one person who I would rather poke my outs than see.

"Erm...by **everyone**...Does that include...um, Archie?" I can hear the shaking in my voice, and Dan can tell he hasn't successfully avoided this conversation as he sighs into the phone.

"Dai..." That was the only thing he needed to say, I had my answer. Archie would be there, and Dan tried to avoid telling me. Now I'm pissed.

"Not a chance in hell." I say coldly into the mouthpiece, but he doesn't quite get the message that I'm not budging.

"Oh come on, you have to face him sooner or later!"

"No I don't." I sound like a child, but I don't care right now.

"It's been what, two and a half years now Dai? Come to the party, have a few drinks, and try get over that, and him." _'Oh I see, get over it? Just like that? Why didn't I try that in the first place? Silly Daisuke.'_

"It isn't that easy Dan!" I'm raising my voice by this point, getting more and more annoyed by his pushing. Then a completely new thought hit me, one which I should have noticed as soon as I heard the word 'superstar'.

"Hold on, how the hell did you even get my number? I didn't give my new number to anyone when I left!" '_Gotcha! Talk your way out of that you annoyi-'_

"Oh puh-lease...I knew that even if you severed your ties to the rest of us, you would still maintain your bromance with Ryo." _'Shit. I was so sure that'd get him, but nooooo! Ryo gave him my number? Oh he'll hear about this.'_

"Akiyama is a dead man." I should have figured that Dan would go to Ryo for my number, I mean we've practically been brothers ever since he beat me at that Digimon card competition and we struck up our friendship. More than once I was asked if we were 'more than friends'. Haha, that's just ridiculous, I mean he's hot and everything but we're too close for me to even think about him like that! Anyway, before I get too distracted...

Argh, he's chuckling again! _'Why am I still letting this continue?'_ "Either way, I'm not going." I start to weave my hands through the beautiful locks upon my head – I'm getting really worked up.

"Still? But Dai you-"

"Look, I'm sorry, but it'd just be too hard, I'll talk to you later..." I cut him off, this ends now.

"Hey! Before you go, just remember that, persistent nagging aside, I'm your friend, and always here for you, ok?" That jackass, he calls and gets me all worked up, then I can't even be angry at him for saying something like that!

"Thanks Daniel, bye." Click.

Man, if I didn't think I'd cause a scene I'd scream out in a full flurry of anger, confusion and sorrow. With head buried in arms, I let out a sigh of exasperation, although traces of a growl seemed to accompany it. Hmm, what's that sound coming from the table? Oh, that new kid from Algebra is standing on the other side of the table, what was his name again? _'Who cares? He's pretty hot...' _No! Control yourself Dai, we won't have another Archie episode.

"This seat taken?" He asks gently, with a friendly smile. Might as well befriend this new guy, it's scary being alone in a new school after all...

"Oh no, go for it dude!" I return his smile, if only slightly, the previous phone call still on my mind. He takes the seat, and begins to eat his pizza which he brought. Between his bites he makes conversation with me. His bright, clear cerulean eyes are staring directly into my opposing chocolate ones.

"You're in my Algebra class right?"

"Er, I think so, yeah. Takato was it?" I've obviously got that wrong as he begins to chuckle softly.

"Almost, Takeru Takashi." He corrects as he offers a hand across our table. I take it and shake, smiling as I reply.

"Right, that was it! Sorry, I'm Daisuke Motomiya."

"Nice to meet you, so how come you're all on your own too?" He raises an eyebrow quizzically at me and gazes into my eyes, waiting for an answer. _'Ok, let's ignore all my issues for just a moment, cause that was cute.'_

I hate myself sometimes...Guess I should answer his question though.

"Oh no I'm just..." _'Wait a sec...that's them, about time!'_ "Hey guys!"

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

Hmm, I turn my head to see four other teenagers coming to the table. _'These must be Daisuke's friends, he was probably waiting for them and you go and steal one of their seats.' _With that thought, I move to get up and leave Daisuke to his friends until he grabs my wrist and lightly pulls me back down. "Don't be ridiculous." He scolds me with his whisper, but let's me know he isn't angry by smiling and quietly laughing to himself for a moment. Daisuke already seems to be showing himself a friendly, kind guy. Maybe sitting here was a good idea. I return his smile genuinely before turning to the approaching students.

One of Daisuke's friends is a rather tall male, with dark purple, almost shoulder length hair and lighter purple eyes. He's wearing a long sleeved gray shirt and trousers to match. His gaze catches mine for a second and he offers me a polite, small smile, which I return as he sits next to me. Then a redheaded girl approaches from behind him and sits next to him. She has a blue hat atop her head, with a red tank top and light blue jeans. The next girl is the hyper, light purple long-haired girl from World History, Miyako. She's wearing a green t-shirt with a brown cardigan over the top, and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans too. I can see the brown in her eyes past her glasses...not that she can even see me. She's deeply engrossed in her conversation with the shorter, brown haired girl standing next to her, dressed almost entirely in pink, apart from yellow shorts. All I heard them say was something about Miyako having an _'absolutely terrific night with my yummy ken-ken!'_ as she put it...God help Ken, whoever he is. The last two girls sit to the left of Daisuke, who by this point is just groaning at their girl-talk, shoving another spoonful of...something into his mouth. _'Is that meant to be meatloaf? Yuck!'_

As well as eating 'death on a plate', he's looking around as if he was expecting someone else.

"Where's Taichi?" Well that explains that.

"Oh, he told me he wasn't coming today. He's showing this **really** **hot** new guy around, I think his name was Yamato Ishida?" _'Oh, nice coincidence, both of us found our way to this circle of friends'_. I must be chuckling cause I'm getting a look off of Daisuke and the other boy, clearly curious.

"Yamato's my brother." I inform them, instantly clearing their confusion. Now Miyako, the brunette and the redhead are also looking at me but it's Daisuke that decides to clear the confusion this time.

"Allow me to make introductions! Takeru, this is Sora Takenouchi." He waves his hand towards the redhead and we shake hands. "This is Miyako Inoue" We shake, but it's not so formal, having already met. "Next to her is Hikari Kamiya" Another shaking of hands, with smiles exchanged.

"Call me Kari, everyone else does."

"And last but not least, this is Ken Ichijouji." Oh, so **this **is Miyako's _'Ken-__Ken'_! I shake his hand lastly, giving him a small smile and nod whilst mentally giving him my condolences. "Guys, this is Takeru Takashi!"

Daisuke looks pleased that our introductions went so smoothly, as everyone is welcoming me and striking up small chat with me. Occasionally glancing to my side, I can see he keeps looking at me with curiosity and..something else undecipherable. _'Maybe he's just trying to figure out what kind of person I am. Yeah that'll be it.'_

"But seriously Dai, this Yamato guy was **gorgeous**! Though I can see looks run in the family" She glances towards me and winks upon her last comment, earning me a deep red tint to my cheeks.

"You would have been drooling, Dai." She continues. _'Yes yes, Matt's hot, everyone thinks that, not that I don't get noticed either...Wait a sec! Did she just say __**Daisuke**__ would be drooling?' _Daisuke obviously picked up on my dumbfounded expression as he helped fill me in.

"Oh yeah, you should probably know, haha, well erm...I'm...kinda bi. I hope that doesn't offend you or anything." He has a slightly worried expression, probably hoping that I don't run screaming. _'Ok, I was not expecting that...He didn't seem different at all from what i've seen so far. I do live in the 21st century, so unlike the bigots out there, I actually accept people who aren't carbon copies of me...'_

"Of course not! I'm not gonna judge you on something trivial like sexuality. I was just taken aback by the spontaneity of it. " He's noticeably relieved by this comment and continues;

"Phew! I was scared for a moment that you would be freaked out, but you seem like a pretty easy going guy." With that minor moment of awkwardness now fully dismissed, Daisuke continues his stare of curiosity at me. I was about to begin speaking to ask what's wrong.

It's then that his expression turns to one of confusion. He opens his mouth to speak and I prepare myself for some degree of questioning.

"Wait a sec, you and Yamato are brothers right?" I nod in reply. "Then what's up with the different last names?" Ken must have noticed the slight frown form on my face because he kicks Daisuke under the table.

"Ow! Ken!"

"Please Takeru, ignore the tactless wonder over there." He says apologetically.

"No, it's alright Ken. Well, my parents divorced when my mum was pregnant with me, so when I was born I took her maiden name 'Takashi'. But when she...died, a few years ago, I went to live with my dad and Yamato, whom I call 'Matt'. I was given the choice to become 'Ishida' but this way I can always keep part of her with me." I explain, trying to maintain composure throughout. That story is not something I would usually share with people I just met, but something about these guys, especially Daisuke makes me able to trust them...

The three girls all look like they're about to cry, while Ken puts a hand on my shoulder and forms his own frown. His expression tells me that it's like he completely understands, like he can relate to me. It's comforting actually. Daisuke looks ready to throw himself off of a skyscraper, as he begins to slap his forehead.

"God, I'm an idiot! I didn't even think before I spoke, I'm really sorry Takeru!" He lays a hand on my arm as he apologizes profusely, his eyes laden with guilt. I can't help but regain my smile at the sight, it's kind of cute.

_'Cute? No no, that's not what I meant, a-and if I did, then I mean like a little child giving a guilty puppy dog face. Glad that's cleared up...'_

"Don't worry, Daisuke. I know you didn't mean to upset me, and you had no idea."

"Thanks man, and call me Dai." His smile returns too and his guilty face disappears as he can see that I really do forgive him.

"Okay then, Dai." My smile widens, as does his. Neither of us notice Kari and Miyako exchanging winks after seeing us smiling. The former awkwardness is gone, and all of the members of our table resume conversation, with Dai and I beginning to chat, mainly about my old life in Tokushima. We seemed to hit it off right away, much to my delight. I'll be glad to already have a circle of friends that I can immerse myself in. It'll make life so much easier.

xXxXxXxXx

After lunch was finished, I walked to class with my new friends, continuing to get to know them. This is what I've learned so far: Sora plays tennis, Dai is a soccer nut, along with Ken. This 'Taichi' guy that they were on about earlier? Well apparently he's the schools soccer captain and star striker – I should meet him tomorrow at lunch. Miyako is a computer girl but I'm told that the major computer pro in school is 'Koushiro'? Maybe I'll meet him in time. Kari is a photographer in her free time, which I should have guessed by the camera case permanently round her neck. Sora and Miyako both work in their parent's shops, which are flower shops and convenience stores respectively. Ken's some sort of genius so he tutors as a job. Dai hasn't got a job, but wishes he had one, to get away from his annoying sister. That comment made me laugh along with him as he told me. Obviously I know that Ken and Miyako are dating, and that Dai is bi. That information still shocks me a bit, and may require further processing, but I feel trusting of him already, and his sexuality honestly doesn't bother me.

My last two classes went by fairly quickly, probably because I enjoyed them. In chemistry, our teacher, Mr Trintuya is really laid back if you do what you have to in class, he chats with his students and makes jokes too. I sat next to Kari in this class, as she pretty much insisted, not that I was resisting – I didn't know anyone else after all. That's where I met her friend, Mimi Tachikawa. Wow, and I thought Kari loved pink...And it turns out she's super friendly! With a half hour conversation with Mimi, I only know two things about her. The first is that in about a month, she's having a party at hers _('And I'm invited...that happened fast, eh?') _and the second is that she **loves **shopping. If Kari hadn't calmed her down, she'd have had me going shopping with her right after school – somehow I don't think I have enough patience or shopping experience to keep up with Mimi.

Gym was last, and I'd complain about the boring, unflattering uniform if everyone else wasn't forced to wear it too. Despite this, Dai bounced into class as chipper as possible while in school. It was dodge-ball, so we mainly just hung back, threw balls that rolled (or were thrown) towards us and talked. Dai told me where he lived, and it was on my way home from school, so he said he'd walk me back home, just to ensure I didn't get lost. I had made the same trip this morning with Matt so I couldn't see it happening, but I didn't argue, it was nice to form a friendship so quickly.

xXxXxXxXx

Once I had returned home, Matt and I swapped stories about our first day at Odaiba Academy, and fortunately, Matt had a great time too! I would have been in the house about twenty seconds after him but Dai and I spoke outside the house for ten minutes, then he left after saying he'd come get me at about half seven tomorrow morning for school. Anyways, Matt befriended Taichi, as I was told earlier today. He also met Tai's best friends from senior year; 'Koushiro', the computer whiz I had hear about earlier, and 'Jyou'. He described Tai both physically and on a personality level – He sounds like an older version of Dai actually, _'except straight, hehe'._ Couldn't help but laugh at my own little comment.

I was pretty tired from the long day at school, and all of the introductions that came with it, so I retired to bed pretty early, not even seeing dad get home. _'I wonder if he had a good first day too? Hope so, especially if he has to be there as long as this...'_ I pondered before drifting off into sleep. My last conscious thoughts were of the new school, the new circle of friends I had, and Dai...

_'Hmm, I guess Odaiba could be alright after all.' _Was my summarizing thought, as I finally let myself succumb to sleep, with a wide grin upon my face.

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC_

_A/N:_

'Maybe he's just trying to figure out what kind of person I am. Yeah that'll be it.'_ - Sure T.K., suuuuure!_

_There's Chapter 1 (or 2 depending on how you look at it) done!_

_It won't be amazing but hopefully you enjoy it! Sets the scene some more, and you can begin to wonder about Daisuke, and decide for yourself if the two potentially have anything there...? Well you'll just have to see!_

_And I know Kari and Taichi should really have 'Yagami' as their last names but I hate 'Yagami' and love 'Kamiya', plus it's my story...deal with it xD_

_I hope to see some Daikeru sparks shortly, don't get too excited though – I am playing this game slowly, me thinks xD_

_Japanese names should be other way round? Again: My story = My Rules :)_

_I should just point out that even though some thoughts are italicized while others aren't, the ones that are in italics are meant to represent either significant thoughts or active thoughts, like things the character is actually saying to themselves in their head. The non-italicized thoughts and text are just meant to be passive descriptions of things that the character isn't heavily dwelling on or that isn't important or even just things that they may not exactly be pondering on, like getting more annoyed, or noticing a smile. Also things that they just know and inform us about (like Takeru explaining what he knows about everyone, it isn't like he sat down and spoke this to himself, it's in his memory, for us to know). Hope that makes sense :)_

_Teachers names are just completely made up btw..._

_**Takato the Dreamer**: Thank you for your review, it means a lot to me, as does all the encouragement and support that you give me!_


	3. Dress To Impress

_**Holding Back** by **Daikeru Insanity**_

_Here comes Chapter 3(2)!_

_Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!_

_Again thanks for favouriting, but please also review, I could really use a small detailed idea of how I'm doing with my first fic :S_

_Things are getting a bit more in depth this chapter, but oh you wait...It kicks off after this :D_

_**Takato the Dreamer**: Still love that you take the time to read this, review and listen to me go on and on!_

_Hehe, oops: I realized that in the Prologue I had his last name as 'Takaishi', then in the next chapter it was 'Takashi' – Not a huge deal but I've edited and now it will just be 'Takaishi'!_

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still do not own Digimon, any of it's characters or associated works – I am just borrowing characters for my own twisted enjoyment. Although my birthday is a month tomorrow so we'll see if anything changes by then..._

_Did a MAJOR edit of punctuation, hopefully it's all good now :D  
><em>

_On with Holding Back!_

_Chapter 2_

_'Dress To Impress'_

_(Takeru's POV)_

I woke up today and was in a great mood immediately! That doesn't happen very often I should add, as it usually takes until after my morning shower for me to be civil towards anybody. I guess I'm still thinking about Daisuke and how he helped me have a great first day yesterday. He was being so kind, and he didn't have to be either. I wish I could think of a way to let him know how grateful I am, maybe something will hit me when I see him today. Ha, for once school is actually something I'm excited about!

After showering, dressing in a similar style as yesterday, and eating the oatmeal which my brother was kind enough to cook for us, there was a knock upon our door. It was Daisuke, and true to his word, he had come to walk with me to school today.

"Morning Takeru!" He greets, that same infectious grin plastered on his face.

"Hey Daisuke, how are-"

"I thought I told you to call me Dai?" He cuts me off, playfully prodding me in the chest and smirking, so that I realize he isn't actually angry.

"Sorry Dai, I forgot." I admit.

"Well just don't do it again!" He replies with a wink. "So, are you ready to go?"

"Sure am, but before we go..." I trail off as I pull him into a sudden hug. _'Yeah, that was the best I could come up with, shut up.' _He isn't pulling away, in fact he's returning the hug, bringing his arms around my torso.

He's probably adequately confused at this point and I should probably explain why I just did that, so as I pull away I say; "Erm, sorry about that. It's just that I wanted to show that I'm really grateful for how nice you've been to me already, even though you barely know me!"

"...My pleasure." Dai mumbles, just loudly enough for me to hear, but as I pass him to begin my journey to school, I don't notice the powerful blush that has struck Dai.

xXxXxXxXx

The school day leading up to lunch was pretty uneventful, but pleasant nonetheless. First class I had was Literature, which is my favourite subject, so I think my teacher automatically liked me. She said I was 'already the most enthusiastic student in the room'. I sat in an empty chair near the front by the left wall, which was luckily right next to Dai, who had Kari on his other side. It was quite funny, since we were studying Shakespeare's Hamlet, and I don't think Dai removed the puzzled expression from his face for the whole lesson, which earned him giggling from Kari and I, and we received ample glaring in return.

My second class was Art, which has never been my strongest area in school. Ken called me over to a seat next to him and I chatted with him for most of the lesson about his soccer team, and my writing projects. We managed to have some laughs too, as - since I knew I wasn't artistically skilled enough to earn a good grade - I wasn't particularly bothered about the assignment so I just let loose with the paint, producing a wide array of unidentifiable objects, which caused Ken to grin and chuckle alongside myself.

Before I can strike up a new conversation, the bell rings and it's lunch time, and Ken is leading me through the loud rabble of hungry teenagers so that we can get our...erm, 'food'. I expect to be led to the same table which we sat at yesterday, but instead I'm taken to a much larger table in the center of the room, which was because three members have joined us who weren't there yesterday. Ken and I take a seat at the end of the table, and Dai gives me a warm smile, which I return as I join the group. It was then I notice that the older, blond boy who was sitting with us was in fact Matt.

"Hey Matt, funny how we both ended up with the same group of friends eh?" A chuckle accompanies the comment and Matt smirks back at me before replying.

"I'm just here to make sure you don't get in any trouble." He winks at me and I just roll my eyes. The tanned, older boy sitting opposite Matt is giving both me and him a confused stare. He has big, brown eyes, to accompany the huge bush of brown hair on his head. This must be Matt's friend that he told me about yesterday.

"Oh of course, there are some new faces to you here aren't there Takeru?" The redheaded girl Sora exclaims, obviously noticing the confused Tai. "Well this is Taichi Kamiya, captain of our school's soccer team! And sitting next to him is Koushiro Izumi, our own personal computer expert. Guys, this is Takeru Takaishi" Sora indicates the two older boys on the other side of the table. Koushiro has red, slightly spiked hair and wears a green shirt and dark jeans while Taichi has light jeans and an even lighter blue t-shirt.

"Oh, you must be Yamato's little bro'? Call me Tai, nice to meet you man." Tai offers his hand to shake, which I accept, as well as exchanging smiles.

"It'll be nice to have another addition to our group. I don't have any special names to go by, so Koushiro will do." Koushiro also offers me his hand, which I shake.

"Well Tai and Koushiro, it's great to meet you both! And yeah, I'm already glad that I sat myself with this group yesterday." I reply, as I smile at everyone on the table from yesterday.

For a while, the atmosphere of the table was filled with small chat, no significant conversations taking place. That was until Miyako seemed to remember something important, and started to physically vibrate with excitement. _'Note to self: Never, ever give this girl sugar.'_

"So guys, are you all going to Mimi's party next month?" Her grin will sever her ears if she isn't careful...

"Damn right! It's only gonna be one of the hottest parties of the year!" Dai yells in enthusiasm. Everyone else at the table is nodding in agreement and talking excitedly about what the night could be like. Daisuke obviously notices that I am the only one not responding, and it appears he has no intention of letting that slip.

"What about you 'Keru?" _'Huh? Well I don't think I even want to go. Wait one second...what did he call me? 'Keru'? Hmm, I kinda like that nick name actually, even if it gives me this weird fluttering in my stomach, but the way he said it was actually kind of cute. Damn it! That's the second thing he's done in 24 hours which I've found cute. Ok, I'm not listening to any more of my brothers sappy love songs, they're clearly having a girly influence on me.' _Oh, I still need to answer don't I? Crap.

"Hmm, I dunno. I got invited but I don't really know anyone here yet other than you guys." As I start the reply he seems to be overcome with relief. I can't explain why, other than he was maybe worried that I'd respond badly to the nick name? Either way, I give my answer, hoping that Dai won't push the issue. '_Yeah, like you're that lucky!'_ But the next comment isn't actually his.

"Well what better way to get to meet people and make new friends?" Sora adds, giving such an innocent, friendly smile that I can't even be mad at her for giving Dai ammo for his argument.

"Exactly! How about it then? It'll be fun, I promise!" He pleads at me with an obviously well practiced 'puppy dog' look. Gah, I'm finding it hard to resist, and I know that my resolve, along with my excuses are rapidly crumbling.

"Well eh..." I start, when I suddenly remember a conversation I had with the pink-haired party host. "Oh! Mimi was telling me where her house was, if I decided to show up. It seems a hell of a way from my house, and I don't really like the thought of walking all the way home at god-knows what time in the morning!" _'Phew, hopefully that one saved me!' _

"Not a problem, you can always stay over at my place! It's not like we have school the next day, since it's on a Saturday." _'Crap. This isn't working. And his pleading tone doesn't help, I can't resist him like this. Ugh!'_

"Won't your mum mind? I wouldn't want to impose." I obviously sound desperate, as Dai begins to smirk, knowing that he's winning.

"Nah, she loves when I have friends over. As for being an imposition, don't be an idiot 'Keru! I'm inviting you, so I obviously want you there." He just smiles warmly at me, and everyone else at the table is looking at me by this point, as if our conversation was a high speed police chase on TV. I'm out of excuses too..._'Ah to hell with it...'_

"Well...Fine! Guess I don't have any reasonable way left to get out of this do I?" Dai's beaming in his victory, and everyone else is just chuckling at how flustered I've become.

"Nope!" He stares at me and smirks.

"I hate you right now. I hope you know that, Dai." I reply as I stick my tongue out at him in a proudly juvenile manner. This just eggs him on, and he winks and smiles back at me.

"Love you too, 'Keru."

At this point I just put on a mock pout and look away from him as he continues to torment me. While I was engrossed in trying to escape this party, I didn't notice that Tai was watching my whole argument with Dai with intense interest. At some point during Dai's coercion, he turned to Koushiro and whispered;

"Cute little lovers spat there eh?" Koushiro held back a chuckle and just smiled while he turned towards his best friend.

"Think they like each other? Daisuke certainly seems to have taken an interest in his new blond friend."

"Oh Dai definitely likes him, he just probably won't admit it, not even to himself. I don't know about _'Keru'_ over there but I guess time will tell." Tai retorted, not even bothering to hold back his laughter at the pet name, and the two of the boys returned to conversation with their other friends.

I'm almost done eating lunch when a sudden realization hits me.

"Hold on! I haven't really got any nice party-appropriate clothes to wear. Most of my stuff is along the lines of what I'm wearing now, shorts and t-shirts."

"Oh no – you don't get out that easy my friend! The party isn't until next month! I'll just have to drag you to the mall and help find something for you. Could probably do with some new clothes for myself too." Apparently, his stubbornness wasn't all used up in our previous rally.

I groan in protest, but obviously Tai heard our discussion as he chimes in;

"Hey, Yamato and I were gonna go the mall after school today. I'm taking this week to show him round the school and Odaiba, bit by bit. You guys wanna come with us?"

At this point, I would have found some sort of excuse to get out of this, but Dai had other ideas. "Sure! It'll be fun, with the four of us. 'Keru and I have Algebra last thing, so we'll both meet you at the front gates?"

"Great! See you guys then." Tai replies, as he gets up, motioning for Matt to follow him. Good timing too, as the bell screamed at us just after Tai finished speaking. Our group breaks up, all heading to our individual classes. Just before I leave for Music, I make sure to stick my tongue out at Daisuke one final time, earning a smirk in return, and an echoing laughter as he heads in the opposite direction towards Geography.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

_'Well that was an interesting lunch period' _I think, smirking inwardly. _God, it was too much fun, getting 'Keru all worked up like that. I'm also glad he didn't seem to mind that name, though I do need to control myself around him. I used the name because I thought it was cute, and his expression when he was pretending to be in a huff was just adorable. Stop acting like this Daisuke! He's straight, so it's pointless. Plus, you know you're not after a relationship just now. Hmm, Daniel thinks I should just forget about...him. Hmph! Easier said than done...Never mind those thoughts just now. The bell just rang, and that was last period. Shopping time! _

I laugh out loud at the girly voice I put on in my mind for that last thought, and quickly dash out of the room, dragging a rather confused Takeru with me.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

Dai's random outburst of laughter aside...The last two classes went by with nothing interesting happening, and as arranged, we met Tai and Matt in front of the school, just outside the gates. After initial greetings, we made our journey towards 'Odaiba Mall'. The Mall was only about ten minutes away by foot, but as we arrive, I find myself surprised that we didn't see the building from school. This place is **huge**! The monstrous sized building is painted completely blue on the outside, and stands at about three stories tall. _'God I hope Dai has a shop in mind, or else we could still be shopping by Christmas!' _I muse to myself and follow the other three boys into Odaiba's shopping center.

xXxXxXxXx

For the first fifteen minutes of our exploration, I had completely forgotten our reason for being here, as I was too busy gaping at my surroundings. Matt and I were simply amazed by the size of Odaiba Mall. There was nothing anywhere near this big back in Tokushima! I would have commented aloud but it seems both Tai and Dai have found appealing clothes shops, and before I can speak I'm being dragged towards one of them by Dai, while Matt is being led in the opposite direction by Tai. I catch a glimpse of Matt's face, he's wearing an expression which practically shouts 'Help me!'. _'You're on your own Matt, I have my own nightmare to deal with..'_

_(Daisuke's POV)_

We must have spent another fifteen minutes searching for decent clothes for the party. After I explained that the 'dress code', as he called it, was smart yet casual, he reluctantly began looking through rails of shirts and jeans. _'If he just loosened up, things would go much smoother'_. I found myself chuckling at 'Keru's continuous resistance. Once we had both found what we believed to be a good outfit, we found ourselves standing outside the only available changing cubicle.

Takeru motions with his hands towards the cubicle.

"Ladies first." I give him a mock glare and enter. I take a couple of minutes to get fully changed before I stand in front of the mirror and examine myself. I chose a burgundy coloured shirt to match my hair, and it is accompanied by a pair of formal black trousers. _'Hmm, this seems far more smart than casual...Ah! I'll roll my sleeves up, perfect! Time to see what Takeru thinks.'_

_(Takeru's POV)_

He's taking a rather long time just to get changed...Oh wait, here he comes. Dai emerges from the cubicle, and turns himself slowly, so that I get a full look at the outfit, then turns back to me with a look that I read as him asking 'Well?'.

_'Woah, that's Dai? What a transformation! He looks...really good actually. Crap, the fluttering in my stomach has started up again. Why does that keep happening to me? I can't explain it! Oh, Dai seems quite nervous and is obviously looking for my opinion, so I guess I better stop gawking...'_

"You look great Dai!" I tell him, as I finally find words. Dai seems to be relieved, but also...is he blushing? No, he couldn't be.

"He he, thanks, I was hoping you'd say that..." He trails off, hand clasping the back of his neck as he laughs, obviously feeling awkward at my compliment, or his reaction to it...I can never tell with this guy. "Your turn, 'Keru!" He informs me, gently pushing me into the cubicle, clearly hoping to end conversation.

_'What was up with that?' _I ponder to myself before beginning to change into my own chosen outfit.

_(Daisuke's POV)_

_'Gods, that was smooth Daisuke. I could always blame my blush on the stuffy cubicle...Nah Takeru would see right through that. I wish he meant that I looked great but not just in the outfit. Not likely. I don't deserve him anyway, I couldn't see him hurt, I'll at least learn from my mistakes. Speak of the devil, here he comes.'_

After about a minute of changing, Takeru emerges from behind the curtain to reveal himself looking rather...erm, sexy. He's wearing a long sleeved, black shirt which goes rather well with the pair of dark jeans he selected. The darkness of his outfit just helps to amplify the shine of his beautiful golden hair, and his strong cerulean eyes stick out like a sore thumb. _'A sore thumb which you could happily spend all day staring at, I should add.'_ Meeting his two items of clothing in the middle is a shiny silver belt which he found, and it completes the set.

I find myself rather speechless looking at the stunning blonde in front of me, and I'm pretty certain that a shopper on the floor below just got hit by my jaw. Takeru obviously took my look the wrong way as he screws his face up at me. "Is it really **that** bad?". This brings me back to my senses, and I'm quick to correct him.

"No no no! You look...amazing, 'Keru." I just know I'm blushing, but so is he right now.

"Really?" He asks me nervously. _'I swear by now that Takeru has examined every shade of red available at the Daisuke Paint Store!' _"Y-yeah, seriously." I manage to stammer out. His red only intensifies as we delve further into, what I'm quite sure is our **very** awkward conversation. "Thanks Dai." Another cubicle has become available by now, so I just smile at Takeru before claiming it as my own and changing again.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

Much to my surprise, I actually make it out of that clothes store alive. Although I can't help but think to myself; _'Dai seemed really flustered when telling me I looked amazing. Why would that be? He was just telling me that my outfit was good...unless...no way. He couldn't have meant that it was **me **that looked good, as opposed to the outfit?' _

_'Why the hell not? He is bi after all...' _Oh great, I'm having an argument with myself. At least the voices aren't telling me to burn things...

_'Well...yeah, but we're friends, and I'm straight right?' _Hmm, good point.

_'You have to ask if you're straight? Plus, last time I checked, your sexuality had nothing to do with how you look. Loads of girls back in Tokushima thought you were hot, who's to say that a certain guy in Odaiba doesn't agree?' _

I think I finally understand why Van Gogh tore his ear off...Fortunately I manage to shut up the pair of voices for the time being as Tai and Matt are heading our way. _'Better not think about things just now, cause Matt will see that I'm spacing out, and I **really** don't want to explain all of this to him.' _

As the four of us reunite, we begin to continue our trek through the mall which I'm convinced was built with the ancient Labyrinth in mind...though having shopping-obsessed teenage girls run around instead of a minotaur probably produces an even greater danger...

We enter the food court within a matter of minutes, music blaring from loudspeakers clear as day. Though there is one thought from earlier still at the fore-front of my mind: _'Did I just question my own sexuality?'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

Having been given food orders, Tai and I take a short trip to the pizza place in the food court to grab the grub and it isn't long before it's our turn to order. I'll probably have to yell so that my order is heard loud and clear over the sound of the music in the background:

_Cause it's 4am and the sweat sets in,_

_Did you get my message, did it send?_

_Or did you just get on with your life?_

"Hi there, can I get a slice of pepperoni and a-" I'm cut off by myself suddenly realizing the song being played. I can almost feel my blood run cold.

_I'm taking time to thinking, I,_

_Don't think it's fair for us to turn around and say goodbye_

The music isn't what floors me, it's the lyrics. It's almost as if this song was written as a painful reminder, as a nightmare to taunt me. My memory involuntarily returns to my old town, my old friends...and Archie. I feel myself weaken both physically and emotionally at the mere thought of my former love. A few moments have passed since I stopped talking, and Tai has his hand on my shoulder now.

"Dai, you alright man? Did you forget the order? Don't worry about it, can he also get a slice with ham on please?" Tai completes my order, oblivious to my current mental state, yet the music continues and it's the only thing I hear.

_I have this feeling when,_

_I finally found the words to say,_

_But I can't tell you if you turn around_

_And run away, run away. _

Hearing the words 'run away' causes the pain in my heart to peak, and it's then that I totally lose control of my emotions. I excuse myself to the bathroom and promptly leave the pizza shop. Tai clearly noticed the tears flowing mercilessly from my eyes since no sooner than I turn on the tap to run cold water, I see his big bushy hair in the corner of my eye. All it takes is one look at my face and Tai is next to me in a nano-second, arms round my shoulders, pulling me into a comforting hug.

"Dai, what's wrong? What happened?" Tai has his tone set to 'concerned big-brother figure' and I don't even have the mental strength left to lie and put on a brave front..._'Though by this point he __**might**__ not believe me saying that everything's fine.'_

"I-it's that s-song." I stutter, voice trembling to hell – I'm putting all my willpower into stopping the tears at the moment.

I can see the wheels turn in Tai's head as he listens for the song still playing in the distance. "Huh, Runaway? Surely you can't dislike Maroon 5 **that **much?" He jokes, but one glare of anger mixed with pain from me later and he's apologizing profusely. Feeling that my tears have stopped for the time being, I put more focus into maintaining a calm voice.

"It's the lyrics...they really hit home, and bring rather painful memories to the surface. Stuff from before I came here..." I admit to him, and I just hope he doesn't push the matter further. Unfortunately Tai is even more stubborn than me, and he won't stop until he knows everything. I can't even be annoyed with him, cause I know he just wants to help, and for me to be happy.

Tai eases his hold on me, and puts enough distance between us so that he can look into my dampened eyes. "What happened, Dai? What has you so depressed?" A concerned look dominates his usually cheery demeanor.

"It doesn't matter Tai, I'll deal with it and be ok."

"Wrong answer. Don't feed me bullshit Dai, you just burst out in tears over song lyrics! This is obviously not something which you'll just 'deal with'!" He comes across as angry, but I know that's just how he sounds when worried. I know I'm gonna cave, but if I go into it all here other customers, or worse, Takeru or Yamato could walk in and see me in my state.

"Not now. Not here." I say sternly so that Tai understands this isn't negotiable. His expression softens, and he seems to respect my request.

"Ok, I'll give you some time." _'God bless you, Taichi Kamiya.' _I'm relieved that he's dropping the subject, cause I just don't think I would maintain enough composure to tell the story right now.

"But soon. As for now, give your face a wash and get out of here while I go tell Takeru and Yamato that you were feeling really ill, threw up and left. I'll then walk them home."

"Thanks Tai, you're a true friend, better than I deserve." In a blink of an eye later, I feel his tanned hand half-heartedly collide with the back of my head.

"Don't put yourself down, Dai! You're a great guy, don't let your insecurities get the better of you. I'll see you at school tomorrow." With that he left to see to the blond brothers who would no doubt be waiting rather impatiently for their food by now. I proceed to wash my face and try to return to normal, Tai's final command replaying in my mind:

'Don't let your insecurities get the better of you'

_'If you only knew the half of it, Tai...'_

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC_

_A/N:_

"I wish I could think of a way to let him know how grateful I am" _- I can't be the only one cruisin' in the gutter just now?_

_Hmm, things are starting to get interesting...I hope._

_What's this, T.K. questioning his sexuality? Why is Dai in so much pain, and what do the lyrics of Runaway (Which I would like to point out that I DO NOT OWN, I am merely borrowing it from the gods that make up Maroon 5) have to do with it? Why is Dai resisting his feelings?_

_Hmm, I probably won't even tell you...Just kidding, I'm not that mean xD_

_I think I finally have a firm grip of tenses! My only note is that the character is sometimes looking over events before proceeding in the present but it's hopefully pretty clear cut :D_

_Planned Tense Changes: T.K. at his door; lunch time; Dai at cubicles (Tell me if there were others as they weren't planned...)_

_I love writing from T.K.'s POV, can you tell? I'm enjoying his sense of humor, hope you enjoyed his (my) witty comments :P His pizza, plain cheese with just ham on? That's my favourite xD_

_Oh, and I realize my apostrophes are kinda all over the place...But some of them I put where I think they belong, and it just looks stupid. But I assume you're all intelligent enough to not be fazed by my stupidity and realize when there is a letter missing or when I talk about something belonging to a character._

_So anyway, that's chapter 3(2) done now! If anyone is actually reading my fic, **please review** as this is my first, and I really need to know how I'm doing! Things will get interesting in the next chapter, and hopefully the story will live up to it's 'Drama' category :)_

http:/www./view/869747/


	4. Unfortunate Occurrences

_**Holding Back **by **Daikeru Insanity**_

_Time for Chapter 3(4)!_

_Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read! _

_Thanks to those who are reviewing :D Keep letting me know how I'm doing as the story progresses!_

_Hmm, I initially planned for things to really pick up this chapter but then as I was doing my plan I figured this one might need trimmed down into two halves xD _

_**Takato the Dreamer: **Glad you're still enjoying it, and you know where my enthusiasm for this chapter comes from xD_

_**TKViedarts: **I woke up and first thing I saw on my phone was email saying you reviewed, that got me off to a great morning :D I'm trying not to go full steam ahead don't worry, and as for others, you'll have to see ;P_

_**KoumiLoccness: **Thanks for the review :) Again, you'll just have to wait and see...:D_

_**lgaz123: **Thanks for the kind words! :)_

_Disclaimer: No, still don't own Digimon :( It's just not fair...I deserve to own it -.-_

_Now for Holding Back! This one should be pure fluff..._

_EDIT: Just did a MAJOR edit of punctuation and now my apostrophe use will be consistent and hopefully correct :L  
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_Chapter 3 _

_'Unfortunate Occurrences'_

_(Daisuke's POV)_

Right now I'm sitting beside Takeru on his bed and we just finished our fourth match of the day on Forza. I won, obviously. It's been a hellishly long three days since our visit to the mall. Miyako and Kari have been pestering me non-stop...Miyako must have heard about what happened from Kari, who apparently didn't believe the 'sick' excuse given by her brother. I even got some third-degree from Yamato and Koushiro, of all people! _'Apparently Tai isn't the best storyteller...' _He hasn't actually closed in for interrogation yet, though things are awkward between us just now. Guess he's still giving me time. Actually, the only one who hasn't caused me any grief is 'Keru here. _'Maybe he actually believes the excuse, or he just senses that I don't wanna talk about the real reason. Either way, I'm grateful...'_

When I went back to school the next day, 'Keru asked if I wanted to go over to his on Saturday, and spend the night. I didn't have to think twice about my response. It's been great so far: As much junk food as we can possibly handle, enough games to last us a lifetime, and I've even managed to successfully keep my mind out of the gutter!

"No way! I was winning for the whole damn race, how did you beat me?"

"Just naturally talented, I guess." The wink which accompanies my comment serves to only further aggravate the blond teen sitting next to me.

"Oh, I'll be back in a sec, that's the phone ringing!" He runs out of the room and I'm left to fiddle with the settings for our next match, whilst stuffing myself with cheesy puffs.

Despite everyone attempting to wring me for information for the past few days, I've actually enjoyed school. Takeru and I have gotten a lot closer in the past seventy-two hours, and we've been learning a lot more about one another. He's come out of his shell much more, and told me lots of stories from his life in Tokushima. I even felt comfortable enough to share some of my experiences from Tokyo High, though there was no way I was telling him about Archie.

Hmm, Takeru's voice is getting much louder, though I still can't make out his words. He sounds distressed though, and I don't even know who he's on the phone to. Maybe he's having an argument with his mom or something...? _'Don't think I'll be left wondering long, that sounded like a goodbye.' _

Sure enough, just a few moments later, he opens the door and re-enters his room, his eyes locking with mine immediately. I have no doubt about the boy's distress now, there is clear pain in those cerulean orbs. The sorrow in his expression sinks my heart, and I hate the sight of him like this. I want to run right up to him and hug him but he might react badly to that. Whatever's going on, I don't want to make things any worse right now.

"'Keru, whats -" I don't get far before I can see him preparing to speak and I immediately silence myself.

"That was Tai on the phone, he's at Odaiba General Hospital right now. Matt's been in an accident and I have to see him! Will you come with me?"

His voice is shaky, his panic obvious. Whatever happened was obviously very serious. I can't say no to him like this, not that I want to, either. If something really bad **has** happened, then I'm gonna be there for him. "Course I will, let's go!"

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

_'Crap, crap, crap. Tai was in such a panic on the phone! Oh god Matt, what happened? Please be ok, please!'_ My thoughts are in a complete mess, and I don't even know if I've spoken for the past ten minutes. If I have, i'm certain it wasn't anything coherent...I'm practically sprinting towards the hospital, with Dai staying right by my side all the way there. I really am thankful he agreed to come, because depending on the severity of the accident, the kind of state that I'll end up in could be anybody's guess...

xXxXxXxXx

It isn't long before we burst through the front doors of Odaiba General, both of us panting, muscles aching. The pain doesn't matter to me just now, I have to find Matt! I still can't formulate words, so instead I'm just frantically looking around, hoping to find **any** sign of him. Dai must have caught his breath and explained our situation to a member of staff, because I can hear him thanking someone and moving back towards me. I feel him take me by the wrist and pull me gently, indicating that he knows where to go, so I immediately snap out of my daze and follow my tanned friend through the narrow, plain halls of this healing house. _'Thank god he's here, he's much calmer than I could have been, speaking to anyone.'_

We round a final corner and Dai leads me into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). My heart drops as I pass the sign bearing those words. _'It must be worse than I thought...'_. Dai had obviously led us correctly, as I can make out the brown jungle known as Tai's hair immediately as we pass through the last set of wooden double-doors.

He looks terrible, head in hands, hunched over in his chair...and crying? Dai releases my wrist and I run directly towards the older teen, no longer able to stand the torture inflicted by the unknown.

"Tai!"

Upon hearing my voice, his head immediately jerks from it's supported position, and before I can make heads or tails of anything, Tai closes the final few feet between us and embraces me in a full, unrestrained hug. I can hear his shaky breathing and sniffling with crystal clarity, as if no other sound existed.

"Oh god, Takeru! I-it's all my f-fault! If I hadn't called then maybe he wouldn't have..." His voice is getting weaker, and both Dai (who has finally regained his breath and joined me at my left hand side) and I can see that his emotions are taking over.

"Tai, slow down. Explain exactly what happened." Dai lays a comforting hand on Tai's shoulder, as he releases me from his embrace.

"Ok...Well I called Yama earlier today to see if he wanted to come over to mine," _'Wait a sec, 'Yama'? Why's he calling Matt that? Oh never mind that just now! Bigger problems at hand, Takeru!'_ "and when he agreed, I said I would meet him halfway, at the corner next to the big park. Well, when I saw him coming, I shouted for him and waved him over..." I can see his tears building up again, and before I can shout at him in desperation to keep going, Dai (thankfully) cuts me off;

"You're doing great Tai, don't stop now." Dai's warm, yet sad smile allows Tai to regain composure, and continue his recollection.

"Right. So, after Yama saw me, the road was clear so he crossed and was about halfway across when...when some asshole on his phone ran a red light!" _'Oh gods no, he can't be telling me what I think he is...'_ I'm barely breathing at this point but I remain as calm as possible in order to hear the vital part of Tai's tale.

"He came speeding round the corner, engrossed in his conversation and then h-he...he hit Yama!" _'No! Matt! This isn't happening, it can't be...oh shit, is he...was he...?'_

"I could have killed the guy, but I was thrown into panic as soon as I saw Yama's body hit the ground. There was so much blood...Thankfully, a nearby business man called the ambulance. The police thankfully also came and arrested the bastard behind the wheel. All I could do was run over to Yama, and scream..."

I just know Dai's staring at me right now, trying to decide how he could attempt to comfort me, but that's of minimal concern to me, as I have more important questions in mind.

"What did the doctor say? Is Matt...?" Tai seems to take the hint and shakes his head slowly at me, and instantly I can feel an overpowering surge of relief flow through my body. I even hear Dai let out a breath as he manages to relax slightly.

"He's alive, but he's critical at the moment, so he isn't out of the woods yet. He's scheduled for vital surgery in an hour. It's just a matter of waiting for now...His room is right there." Tai pointed just behind him to his left, and I found myself passively moving towards the door, to gaze in through its window, Daisuke in tow.

I peer in the small circular window, and am thoroughly unprepared for the view presented to me. The man lying in the hospital bed wouldn't be recognizable, if it weren't for the name 'Yamato Ishida' written on a sheet next to the door. My brother lies completely lifeless, hair messed up, and almost all normal visible skin covered in gauze. My paranoia is slightly settled as I can see that the heart monitor in the corner does confirm that he actually is alive. He seems almost robotic, several machines connected to various body locations, and a seemingly endless number of cables. Numerous hospital staff litter the room, all either discussing Matt's upcoming surgery, or prodding and poking him with their tools in order to examine his condition. The worst part was that, despite the unholy amount of gauze present on my brother, even from outside the room I could make out his multiple bruises and blood spills as clear as day.

I take in the sight, in all it's grand and gory detail, in what seems like a millisecond. It's then that the brave, calm exterior I've been maintaining shatters. Before I even realize what I'm doing, my tears start to flow relentlessly, and there's nothing I can – or at this point even **want** to – do about it. I must be whimpering or whining, because other bodies present in the hallway start to turn at the new sound produced. I don't care right now. _'Please be ok Matt, I need you. I don't know what I'd do without you...'_

I am pried from my silent prayers as I feel the warmth of a hand upon my shoulder. I turn slowly to see Dai, staring right into my eyes. His chocolate eyes are filled with stronger concern than I've ever seen in a person, and his body language only further amplifies this. It's as if his entire body is trying to project the message 'I'm here for you'. I lose control. I turn my whole body round to face him and throw my arms round his neck to engage him in a hug. My crying continues in full force, but my position with Dai isn't the slightest bit awkward. In fact, it's rather the opposite – this moment right here, me burying my face in Tai's shoulder and hugging him as tight as possible, it's the only thing that feels right.

He isn't resisting either, since he wraps his arms round my chest without a moment of hesitation. After a short while in our embrace, neither of us having moved a muscle, Dai begins to rub my back with one hand and make soothing noises in my ear, which miraculously manage to have a strong calming effect. His other hand moves up to my head, and I feel him stroking the hair at the back. _'I can sense the stares of others around us, including Tai – I forgot he was still here. I'm sure they must all have the wrong idea about __our stance, but I couldn't care less. It's almost as if everything wrong in the world can suddenly get better, as long as Dai is holding me. I don't think I've ever felt so comfortable in my life...'_

Unfortunately our hug did eventually end, and we both pulled away slowly, exchanging small, but powerful smiles before turning back to face Tai. I'm able to stand a little taller now, and I don't feel nearly as weak as I did moments ago. It felt like an eternity in Tai's arms, when in reality it was probably only a few short minutes. Time to see if I can form a few coherent words.

"I'll stay here with Matt, Tai. You can go home, get some rest." _'Good, I'm sure the last thing this situation needs is a continuously blubbering blond baby making the situation __**even more **__depressing!'_

"No, I'm staying here to see Yama as soon as he gets out of surgery! It's the least I can do..." _'He doesn't seriously blame himself does he..?'_

"It isn't your fault, Tai! There's no way that could have been predicted – it was a freak coincidence. Don't be an idiot, and if it helps, I'm sure Matt would tell you the exact same if he were awake right now."

A weak smile forms on the brunets face, and he even manages a chuckle. "You're right, he probably would. It does help actually. Thanks buddy. Oh, by the way, you can't stay. Before I called you, I managed to contact your dad, and he wants you home as soon as you can. He took a half-day at work, and says that he wants to see your brother tomorrow, together. He'll be expecting you."

"Thanks Tai, I'll probably see you tomorrow then?"

"Definitely, try not to worry yourself sick."

"Same goes for you, see ya later!" I wave at him as I turn to lead myself and Dai away from the ICU.

"Later, Takeru. See you round, Dai!"

And with that final exchange of words, Dai and I made our way silently out of the hospital and back towards my house, with me feeling temporarily optimistic about Matt's operation.

'_I know it won't last, but I think I have a better chance of coping as long as Dai's here.'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

_'That wasn't the afternoon I had planned...I can't believe I just had that thought, stupid Dai! I'm slapping myself for that one later. I'm still worried like crazy about 'Keru - seeing him as depressed as he was just kills me. He wasn't the only one battling his emotions however. God, just as I manage to convince myself that what I feel for him is only strong friendship, he pulls me into that hospital-hug. Then BOOM! Everything floods back, and I don't think there's been a moment so perfect in my whole life - if only the circumstances were different. Still, I know it can't happen between us, I can't be that selfish. I guess I can take some solace in the fact that I was able to comfort him, and pick up his spirit for now, even if only slightly.'_

The journey back to Takeru's is one of utter silence. Not an awkward silence however, I figure we're both just deep in contemplation. We aren't thinking about the same thing though, of that I'm certain. I bet Takeru is worrying about Yamato, despite Tai instructing him otherwise. Can't say I blame him, but he's probably also wondering how his dad is taking the news, and if he'll have to comfort him, as well as himself. I hope he'll be alright going to sleep tonight, and won't get too upset...

_'Oh balls, I'm meant to be staying over tonight aren't I? Erm...what the hell do I do now? 'Cause on one hand, I could leave and give him and his dad personal time to cope. Then again, we planned this sleepover and I don't want 'Keru thinking I'm abandoning him, plus I'm worried about him too, so staying would mean I can keep an eye on him. Great, back to square one.'_

_'How about you ask Takeru what **he **wants? Seems the best course of action, no?'_ Oh yay, I'm having a conversation with myself now! Takeru would think I was nuts if I told him this. Anyway, I should talk to him now before the little voices start suggesting that I burn things...

"Erm, 'Keru?" I obviously caught him in a daze as he flinches slightly at the sudden noise in a – up until now – silent atmosphere.

"Yeah? What's up Dai?" At this point we arrive just in front of Takeru's drive-way. I stop in my tracks, which also causes him to halt and look at me with saddened, but also confused eyes.

"Well, it's just that...I can always go home, if you want? I understand that you might need some time alone with your family, and I wouldn't wanna get in the way of that..." I'm slightly saddened upon uttering my own words, as the last thing in the world that I want to do is leave Takeru, but if what he needs is some space, then I'll give him all the space in the world.

"What? Oh no, don't worry Dai, you're not in the way of anything, and I did invite you to stay over after all."

"Yeah, but that was before...the circumstances changed. We can always reschedule for a different weekend, don't worry about disappointing me, 'Keru." I was about ready to turn and leave at that point, since I figured Takeru was only saying what he was in order to be polite. Though just after I look away from him, I feel his hand softly grab my arm, and his other hand is used to maneuver my head – forcing our eyes to lock. His strong cerulean eyes are staring right into me, trying to convey the true emotion behind his words, and I know he doesn't really want me to go at all.

"Please Dai, stay. I know it sounds pathetic, but I really need some company today, and I can't think of anyone better than you...So will you stay the night?" His eyes were practically pleading with me, and his words were the most sincere I've ever heard in my life. I couldn't refuse if I wanted to. I manage to smile at him while I reply;

"Of course I will, I'm not gonna just abandon my best friend in a time of need. I'm here for you." Relief is plastered across his face, but also something else. He seems...surprised? It takes me a moment to actually realize what I just said to him. "Yeah, I know we've known each other a grand total of five days, but I already feel closer to you than any of my other friends." If I hadn't been blushing at any point already today, I certainly was **now! **

He either didn't notice my blush (which must be close to impossible with its intensity), or simply didn't care, since his own expression showed no embarrassment, only gratitude and happiness. It's been a few hours now since I've seen him genuinely happy, and I've missed it.

"Wow Dai, thanks. I didn't know you felt like that. Well I can safely say I consider you in the same way." He's practically beaming now, which I decide to enjoy whilst I can. Though I know his dad is inside, waiting for him, so we shouldn't keep him waiting!

"Hehe well, let's get inside before we get too mushy and start crying while shouting 'I love you!' at one another!"

My joke seems to have its desired effect, as Takeru lets out a laugh, rolls his eyes and turns towards his house. _'Keep calm, Daisuke. Try not to spout all your emotions in one fell swoop, if at all possible.' _

_'It's probably too late for that, you know he can't keep his mouth shut..'_

Oh goody, Dai #1 and Dai #2 are back! It's gonna be a long night...

xXxXxXxXx

Our first half hour back in the house was fairly relaxing – well, for me at least. Takeru and his father were talking in the living-room, and I was happy enough to leave them be and just chill in Takeru's room, thoughts racing through my mind.

Thoughts about how Yamato was, and if his surgery will go well.

Thoughts about myself, how I would get through tonight, and exactly how would I comfort 'Keru if it was necessary?

Thoughts about my cerulean eyed friend were predominant however..._'exactly what do I feel for him?'_

No, scratch that question. If I ask that, another internal counseling session will begin, and I really don't need that just now.

Fortunately, I'm not given the time to ponder things further, as Takeru comes in and practically drags me through to the living-room and sits me down on the couch, as his dad is on the phone to a local take-out. I can hear his order, two large 'meat feast' pizzas and a large bottle of Mountain Dew – perfect!

When the food had arrived, the TV was switched off, and the three of us sat down in the kitchen to enjoy our meal. The atmosphere was somewhat awkward, and Takeru's dad was clearly concerned with Yamato – poor guy, I feel really bad for the pair with me at the table. I can't even imagine what they must be going through. The rare conversation during our feast was light and insignificant, with matters such as school, soccer and Mimi's party coming up. With three weeks to the party, I hope Yamato is well on his way to healing, because I would hate for Takeru to be too upset to go. I know it's selfish, but I really think it's the best way for him to make new friends and kick-start his new life in Odaiba!

xXxXxXxXx

It was around 7pm when we finished eating, Takeru and I excused ourselves from the table, and retreated to the blonds room for the night. The sleeping bag which I brought is pushed up in the corner, still in its plastic sleeve. _'I'll unravel it later, we won't be going to sleep yet anyway...'_

After deciding that watching a movie would be a good idea, I sat myself on the large blue bed against the wall, and propped myself up with a couple of pillows. I allowed Takeru to pick whatever movie he liked, and he soon retrieved _'National Treasure' _from his pile of DVDs by the TV. He then popped the disk into the DVD player and joined me on his bed, also using pillows to keep himself elevated.

For the first twenty or so minutes of the film, I actually got quite into it – Nicholas Cage is a pretty good actor! Though as the movie progressed, I noticed that Takeru wasn't paying much attention, and I knew he was thinking about his brother.

About halfway through, I noticed him with the beginnings of tears in his eyes, and he frantically – yet casually at the same time – wiped his face with his sleeve, probably hoping I didn't notice.

His distress was building, and I wasn't having any ingenious epiphany's on how to comfort him. I'm not an expert on matters of the brain or heart, they're more areas for Koushiro and Kari, respectively. However, I did have one method that had previously calmed the teen next to me, maybe it could work again? Following my instinct, I edge myself slightly closer to Takeru, put my right arm over his shoulder and pull him down gently so that his head was leaning on my shoulder. I leave my arm where it is and he doesn't seem upset, just a tad puzzled.

"D-Dai? What are you doing?" His voice is fairly calm, but his emotional state still seeps through with his words.

"Offering you a shoulder to cry on, as I've told you before – I'm here for you."

He seems to understand my intent clearly enough, as he shoots me a quick, warm smile and relaxes in his position. Another fifteen minutes into the movie, and he took my offer of 'a shoulder to cry on' literally, not that I cared. The rest of the movie was spent with Takeru crying, and telling me all his fears and concerns for his brother. I sat and listened patiently, holding him for the entire duration. I don't remember when or why, but my other arm had at some point reached round his chest so that we were essentially in a full hug not dissimilar to the one at the hospital. Takeru didn't protest however, so I left my arm where it was.

The TV is now displaying the title screen for the ignored film. Takeru yawns loudly as he moves to switch off the machine. _'Guess all the crying and worrying exhausted him, man I really hope Yamato pulls through!'_

It's now about 8.45pm, which is quite early compared to my normal 'quitting time', but if Takeru wants to sleep, then I'll take one for the team! _'Did I really just think that? Lame...'_

"Tired, 'Keru? Wanna call it a night?" He merely rubs his eyes (in exhaustion this time, though) and nods in my direction. Trying to keep his spirits up as best I can, I energetically leap from the bed and flash my trademark over-the-top grin at him, giving him a big 'thumbs up'. To my pleasant surprise, he begins to laugh at me whilst shaking his head and walking towards his wardrobe. _'Success! No one can resist my carefree charm!'_

I cross over to where my sleeping bag lies, which is in Takeru's line of sight. As I bend down to examine and unravel said bag, I hear my friend making some sort of inarticulate mumble.

"Hmm, what's up, 'Keru?"

"Erm, well...I was just thinking that my bed is probably far comfier than that sleeping bag, and the bed is easily big enough for two..." I'm not actually too taken aback by his offer, as I figure he really just wants someone there with him, plus this might help me ease his pain a bit more.

"You sure you don't mind?" He shakes his head assertively in response. "Alright then, thanks buddy!" I smile as I sit the sleeping back back here it was, and instead pick up my black and gray pyjamas which are lying in a plastic bag in the same corner.

For a moment I think about going through to the bathroom to change, but then I remind myself that we both see guys in very little or no clothing often enough in Gym class changing rooms and showers. I pull off my green and white striped t-shirt, and the light blue jeans soon follow, leaving me in just my boxers and soon to be removed socks.

I was facing away from Takeru at the time, and looking downwards at my pyjamas, so I didn't notice him staring at my nearly-naked, well toned body via his mirror at the opposite side of the room.

Now that I'm fully changed, I turn to see if Takeru is ready for bed, and notice him in the same state of clothing I was in just moments ago – I only see his back but it's still enough to send chills down my spine and flare my attraction towards the blond.

_'No, no, no! Don't think about him and look away...It is not appropriate to be having these thoughts, tonight **especially**!'_

I pack all my clothes away into the plastic bag which previously housed the pyjamas. Takeru is fully changed by now, and is lying on one side of his large, comfy looking bed, his gaze fixed expectantly on me. I take the hint, and climb onto the other side of the bed, which was – as Takeru correctly stated – both comfier than a sleeping back and more than big enough for the pair of us. I hit the switch on the lamp sitting on the bedside table, and we're now immersed in darkness. Both of us are simply too tired to keep up our fight against sleep any longer, and we both succumb before we can even say 'Goodnight'.

xXxXxXxXx

_'Huh, what's going on? I'm awake? How long did I sleep...An hour?' _I read drowsily from my watch and wonder why the hell I'm not dreaming of playing at the World Cup right now! Then as I stop ranting internally, I suddenly realize...

_'Sobbing, oh 'Keru...He's shaking worse than ever now, he must have had a nightmare.' _

"'Keru, you crying? Want a tissue?" He seems to get a bit of a fright at my voice, he obviously thought me to still be asleep.

"No, i-it's alright, thanks. You must be sick of seeing me being this pathetic, huh? I can't help but fear the worst about Matt though.."

That idiot, I'll set him straight! "Don't be stupid, you're my friend! I just hate to see you like this 'Keru..."

_'I have to do something to comfort him, no matter how small...What can I do about it, at almost 10 o'clock at night, in bed?' _Sudden brainwave! _'Well, maybe third time's the charm...'_

I turn so that I'm lying on my side now, facing Takeru. I think for a moment if I should really do this and if he would feel awkward, but that thought passes quickly and I throw caution to the wind as I bring my left arm over my body to place it gingerly round Takeru's waist, laying my hand on his material-covered stomach.

"Dai?" He seems stunned at what I'm doing, understandably.

"I'm here for you 'Keru, that hasn't changed." It's too dark to notice but I just now I'm blushing now. I don't get a response from the blond in my grasp. _'Maybe this was a bad idea.'_

"Am I making you uncomfortable cause I can always -"

"No! Erm, I mean...I'm not uncomfortable...Thanks Dai." His voice makes him sound surprised by his own answer, but he is noticeably calmer. _'Phew, I actually got something right for once...'_

Knowing how Takeru felt, I find the bravery to shuffle a bit closer to him, forming a more secure hold on him with my arm and allowing myself to indulge a bit more in the hug I was essentially giving him. My mind is no where near the gutter for once, as my sole concern is his emotional well-being.

And as if my prayers had been answered, not long after having initiated the hug, the sobbing and tears had both ceased, finally encasing the bedroom in peace.

"Goodnight Dai. Thanks again."

"Anytime 'Keru, sweet dreams."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Narrator's POV)_

And that's how the two boys fell asleep – both totally comfortable and content in the embrace they were participating in. Takeru did indeed have sweet dreams, and wasn't sad for a moment that he was safely contained by Daisuke.

Before falling asleep however, both boys minds were running a mile a minute, as they pondered their situation very differently from one another.

For once, Daisuke was thinking about Yamato more than his little brother. The spiky haired soccer player visualized the visit that his best friend would be paying Yamato tomorrow, along with his father. Daisuke's thoughts then centered around how Takeru would cope on 'the day after' and half considered insisting to accompany him, but he knew that he couldn't always be there to hold Takeru...no matter how much he wanted to be.

Takeru on the other hand, was in a total state of disorganized emotions. He had gone from severe depression, to unparalleled happiness, and then to total confusion within the space of a minute. The reason for his confusion? This fluttery feeling that had once again taken up residence within his stomach as Daisuke began to hold him. At first he thought it was just some sort of panic over Yamato, but then soon came to a shocking realization. **This** was the sort of feeling he was expected to feel with Sophie. At first he tried to profusely deny the fact to himself, but to no avail as he was constantly reminded about the events of the day, and how the only three times he felt truly happy were all spent in Daisuke's arms. Not to mention the fact that he had to check with himself that he was straight only three short days ago. Forcing himself to ignore the issue for the mean time, he eventually fell asleep in the arms of his best friend with not a care in the world about how their position might look to his father, were he to come in.

xXxXxXxXx

TBC

A/N:

Chapter 3(4) done! No gutter jokes from me this time, as it was too emotionally heavy a chapter for that.

Hope you enjoyed it! Things are progressing nicely, and I hope I didn't ramble on too much, but I was afraid it wouldn't be a long enough chapter so I had to write like hell xD

I clearly do not own the movie 'National Treasure'.

Getting a bomb of work dropped on me shortly so next update might be a bit away but I will try not to leave you hanging too long :)

R&R as always, please!


	5. Liquid Confidence

_**Holding Back **by **Daikeru Insanity**_

_Time for Chapter 4(5)!_

_Y__aoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read! _

_Here comes the chapter I orignally planned to be the second half of last chapter – maybe for the best considering how long this one turned out eh? :P Think they make more sense as separate chaps anyway!_

_Love all my reviewers! I would write anyway, but when you guys tell me that you like it and why, it makes me incredibly happy :)_

**_Takato the Dreamer: _**_Trust you to call me out on my timings...Now you know why I was being so anal about my timeline on Friday! Glad you're enjoying this though and glad I started messaging you on here, and now we talk every day! :D_

**_KoumiLoccness: _**_I'm glad you're enjoying my fic so far :D Keep reading for more!_

**_TKViedarts: _**_I value your opinion quite a lot and hope this next chapter will be to your liking, gimme a shout if you have any ideas or criticisms, I want this fic to be good at the start, middle and end!_

**_lgaz123: _**_Ah I'm happy you enjoyed my fluffball of a chapter! This one is definitely more in depth and a curveball chapter, let me know what you think!_

**_KeruKeru: _**_You weren't a reviewer of Chapter 4 (yet) but you deserve some words :P Well you're the author of my 2__nd__ most favourite fic, "T and D 4ever" and we've spoken a bit recently, I'm extremely glad that I've managed to impress you so far with my Daikeru! I better not mess it up now!_

**_Digiboy-Stew: _**_Ok, so I wake up one morning, and the first thing I do is grab my phone and see I have an email, boom! Your review, and you have NO idea how much of a grinning idiot I must have been reading that, it set my day off to a definite high! You're right, I do care – I always want my writing to be perfect, and always change the tiny details. I'm actually a bit scared about this chapter from what you've said but I'll speak a bit more about that in the A/N section at the end._

**_Xardain-Omnivus: _**_Thank you, thank you, thank you! :D What's gonna happen? Oh wouldn't you like to know...? Then read ahead :P Glad to see you watching me on y! too :)_

_Disclaimer: For the 5__th__ time, I do NOT own digimon...though why can't I at least own T.K.? :( Also don't own the 'You Me At Six' song which this chapter is named after..._

_On with Holding Back!_

_Chapter 4_

_'Liquid Confidence'_

_(Takeru's POV)_

So...where do I begin? It's Monday now, so two days have passed since Matt was in the car crash. God that was scary. Thankfully we were called yesterday morning by the hospital receptionist and were informed that his surgery went as well as we could have hoped. My father and I went to visit him as planned, after Daisuke had gone home around noon. My brother comes home Wednesday, and Tai has already arranged to be out of school for the rest of the week in order to look after him. _'Poor guy still feels guilty I bet.'_

Now, back to Dai. He is where the problem lies...I can't stop thinking about him! I'm in Algebra at the moment, so I should be fully focused and enjoying the lesson but I can't, because of the tanned teen in front of me.

These thoughts I've been having, they're not right. I keep going back to Saturday night, when I fell asleep in his arms after breaking down over Matt. Before last weekend, I would have looked at that situation and said I was acting gay, but **now**? It was the most perfect feeling I've ever experienced, and I want more than anything to feel it again.

_'Is it possible? Could I be...g-gay? That fluttering I felt, it was what I was meant to feel when in love...No, I was just worried surely. But that doesn't explain the emotions I have now, after the pain. Am I...in love with Dai?' _Gah, the whole thing gives me a headache, and I just get stressed out. I don't think I could even talk to anyone about this. The only gay/bi person I know is Dai, and I'd rather engage in a one-on-one fashion debate with Mimi than have that conversation...I'm closest to Matt, but he has his own crap to deal with, and I'm afraid of how he'd react to having a potentially gay brother.

I can just ignore these thoughts for the time being and hopefully everything will just go away.

xXxXxXxXx

It's now the Friday of the same week, and almost two weeks till Mimi's party. _'Oh joy...' _It's only about noon, but we managed to get half the day off since someone in a chemistry class obviously thought it would be hilarious to switch the names on some chemical bottles. _'He could at least have left the acid correctly labeled'._ Unsurprisingly, a large mess was made, and an odour not to be ignored stalked the halls. I got to the front door of my house in a relatively short time. I figured Matt would be home, he told me Taichi was picking him up for his physio appointment at 10.

Sure enough, the door was unlocked and opened almost silently, though part of me wishes it hadn't. Another thing I wish went differently was my decision to not announce my presence, and instead just glide silently towards the living-room after the removal of my shoes. As I rounded the corner and gained a full view of the room, I was not prepared for the view I was greeted with.

As expected, Matt was lying on the couch, about three strips of gauze short of a full body cast. What I most certainly did **not** expect to see, was Taichi kneeling on the floor next to the couch, with my brother's head in his hands and zero space between the two teen's lips. _'What the fuck?'_ The two were quite happily in the middle of a 'no holds barred' make-out session, and I stood like a gaping idiot, flabbergasted by the display!

Once I had finally seen enough, I knew that then was probably the time to make my presence known.

"Erm...I'm home?" Simple, but effective. 'You've Been Framed' would have been proud...Taichi almost hit the ceiling as he jumped from shock, and all my brother could do was scream like a girl in surprise as his...'_boyfriend?'_ jerked away from him. Matt refused to meet my gaze, and his face turned as red as Koushiro's hair. Taichi saw the display and took his opportunity to escape.

"I should probably be going now, you two will have a lot to talk about...See you tomorrow Yama!" That last line was shouted as he practically sprinted out the front door.

I now stand in my living-room, not understanding anything that I just witnessed. I have so many questions running through my head, and they're damn well getting answered. I turn my full attention back to my brother.

"Sooooo...I guess telling you I'm gay at this point would be unnecessary?" Matt chuckles nervously as he utters his confession. He moves his body gently, but sufficiently enough to give me enough room to take a seat next to him on the couch.

"No shit, Sherlock. How long has thisbeen going on?" I'm sarcastic, but otherwise neutral in my tone.

"Only since Wednesday. Tai showed me how much he cared about me already, and I realized that I felt the same. I was already having weird feelings towards him, and when we talked after I came home I knew it was...love. Yeah, I know it's a bit fast to be throwing that word around but I can't help how I feel."

_'Now where have I heard **that** before? Someone upstairs clearly enjoys messing with me, and all it's doing is bringing my headache back.'_

"I know it may not seem 'normal', but please don't hate me Takeru. I couldn't take that."

_'Ha! If he only knew...'_

"Don't be an idiot Matt, I could never hate you. You're my big brother and you mean the world to me, I'm not gonna turn against you just because you love Tai. I am best friends with Dai after all, and he's bisexual." Matt smiles at me in relief and despite his condition and position, actually manages in pulling me into a brotherly hug.

"_Besides...that'd be pretty hypocritical of me right now."_

I'm released from the hug and Matt locks eyes with me. "What did you just say, Takeru?" _'Fuck! I said that thought out loud! He's staring at me in confusion and concern, he must have heard me clearly...I can't tell him all this can I? Then again, given his relationship with Tai, maybe he'd be the perfect person to talk to. Here goes...everything.'_

"Er, well you see...I've kind of been having these 'feelings' towards another guy recently, and they're kinda making me question my sexuality. It's all very confusing."

"This guy Daisuke, by any chance?" My eyes must have just tripled in circumference - how the hell could he know? **I **barely know!

"W-what? What makes you think that?" Yes, I know that I'm panicking.

"Calm down, Takeru. Tai said that he noticed sparks and certain looks between the two of you. He likened you pair to a younger version of us. And before you ask, no, Tai and I aren't going to say anything about it to anyone. I expect the same from you concerning us?"

"Of course I won't say anything! So, you aren't mad?" Matt is giving me a look of utter disbelief, and it's only after going over my words in my head that I understand why.

"Mad? Were you not just watching me make-out with my best friend?" _'Fair enough...'_

"Alright, alright, I get it. I'm just really confused right now Matt. I haven't a clue what to do about Dai, my sexuality, or anything! Any advice for your little brother?"

Matt's expression softens and he sighs, understanding and sympathizing with my dilemma. "You don't know how you feel about Dai yet, you said that yourself. So whatever you do, don't rush into it. It's up to you, but what I think you should do is first take the weekend off, and not see him so that you can clear your head and really get a handle on your emotions where he's concerned. After that, I'd recommend spending a lot of time with Dai, so you can get to know him even better and hopefully figure out what it is that you feel and want. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect, Matt." It really does, and with some luck, I'll know soon enough whether or not I'm really straight and what it is I feel towards Dai.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the living-room, with the pair of us just watching TV and engaging in comfortable, insignificant conversation, as if the events of the past ten minutes had never occurred.

xXxXxXxXx

_'This is stupid. Why am I even going to this party? It's just gonna be a night filled with awkward introductions and most of the people will probably never speak to me again.' _I'm standing in Dai's room just now, searching through my overnight bag, moaning and groaning to myself whilst outwardly pretending that I'm excited. It's thanks to Matt that I'm actually having to do this. _'I could have stayed home with the excuse to look after him but nooooo, his boyfriend insists on doing it and Matt asks me to go as a favour to both him and myself. "It'll be a good way to spend more time with Dai." he said.' _Tai has pretty much been extended family since that eventful Friday afternoon. The two of them are still going strong, and truly seem in love. If Taichi is over however, I make a point of announcing myself **before** I enter the room. One tongue-sharing session was more than enough for me to see, thank you very much...Dad doesn't know about Matt yet, and I don't blame him for not saying anything, god knows how he'll react.

I did as Matt asked me to, and spent the nearly two weeks after that weekend hanging with Dai a lot more. He never seemed to even notice, or didn't complain if he did. Matt's plan was that by being with him more, I'd figure out my feelings towards him. _'Ha!'_ The exact opposite result has been achieved. I don't think I've ever been so perplexed in my life. I was with him at break times, lunch times, after school and even weekends, yet still no more certain about myself than when I started...

_'Maybe that's the answer? If you've done all that and still can't draw a conclusion, then it could be because you really are developing feelings for Daisuke.' _My internal arguments haven't even stopped to take a breath for the past three weeks, but they're actually beginning to make sense now. Maybe I do like him, but it doesn't matter, because Dai would never return these feelings, _'would he?'_

I'm changed now, and almost ready to leave for Mimi's. I ignore my search and turn to ask Dai if he knows where I put my aftershave, only to be greeted by the sight of his toned, tanned, shirtless torso. My words are never conjured and the stomach fluttering begins again, although at least now I understand why...

"Something wrong, 'Keru?" _'Oh shit, he must have caught me staring!' _Dai just stares at me with those chocolate-brown orbs of his, an adorable puzzled look inhabiting his face. _'Adorable? *sigh* I guess I really must like him...crap.' _

"Huh? No, nothing. Sorry, I was just thinking." I nervously chuckle and he seems to want to ask me something but I'm not sure I'll like the question so I hastily change topics. "Have you seen my aftershave anywhere? I can't seem to find it." I'm subjected to Dai's intense stare of wonder for a moment before he drops the matter, and hands me my black box labeled _'Givenchy Gentleman'_ which was on his dresser the whole time. I turn away from him and finish readying myself for the night to come, hoping it ends as quickly as possible.

xXxXxXxXx

We're about five minutes away from reaching Mimi's house, and I don't have any idea why I'm so nervous! It's not like I'm being asked to perform a song or speak in front of the crowd, so I have no reason to be so stressed. I keep telling Dai that this is pointless, that I'm not going to know any of the guests except our group. He just laughs at my desperation and tells me he'll stick with me and help with introductions. _'Greeeeat! Kill me.'_

"'Keru, there's gonna be alcohol at this party, so if I have to get you drunk in order for you to loosen up and enjoy yourself, don't think I'll hesitate..." I can't pick up any intentions from his tone, or even tell if he's being serious, and it scares me.

I'm not usually much of a drinker, since last year I was at an after-party that Matt's band was throwing in celebration of their first big gig and everything was going pretty well until one of his band-mates started offering me Jack Daniels...'x' amount of glasses later, and the next thing I know, it's 2pm the following day, and I have a hangover from hell while Matt is killing himself with laughter. To this day, I still haven't a clue what happened for the latter half of the party. That being said...considering that I'll be bombarded with new faces all night, surrounded by ridiculously loud music and given that my internal voices are more persistent than ever, maybe drinking isn't such a terrible idea...

It's about 8pm when we arrive at the front door to Mimi's 'house'. A better word would be castle, palace or mansion – take your pick. Then again I'm not really surprised, Mimi lives the life of a princess, so why not have a house suited for one? Dai ushers me in through the front door, before I try to think of another escape plan. The huge living-room that we made our way to is littered with bottles, snacks and far too many teenagers. The party may not have been going on for very long, but it is quite clearly in full swing and the music - as I predicted – is **loud.** _'God help the neighbours...'_ I think, before being handed a bottle of beer by...I have no idea who by actually, I just seemed to obtain it. Dai is calling over a small group of guys that look our age - apparently he's wasting no time with the introductions.

I smile awkwardly at the approaching males and take a heavy swig of my beer. _'Let the night commence...'_

xXxXxXxXx

As I expected, the first half hour to an hour was spent with constant introductions to about forty party-goers, 90% of whom I'll either never speak to again, or just not remember their names. It seems like a completely pointless exercise but it appears to be making Dai happy, so I'm putting up with it. I've had a few beers by now and beginning to feel some effects but I'm still within self control. I haven't left the living-room so far tonight, but I think I need to change that since Dai seems to be rounding up a few more unfamiliar faces to meet me.

"Dai, I'm just gonna go get a drink in the kitchen! Back in a few."

"Alright man, go talk to some people! I'll grab some more guys to meet you when you get back!." He smiles at me and sends me off, clearly hoping I'll have a spontaneous personality change and shed my shyness...good luck with that.

"_Oh I can hardly wait..."_ I mumble under my breath as I head towards the kitchen. I wonder if Mimi has any cyanide pills lying around...

This kitchen could easily be mistaken for a meeting room, but the novelty of the sizes of the rooms in Mimi's house is beginning to wear off. Groaning at the thought of having to return to introductions, I make my way towards the drinks counter. If there was any specific drink in the world that I wanted, I would most likely be able to find it here. I'll steer clear of the beers and ciders, I think I'm gonna need something stronger to 'loosen me up', as Dai would say.

As I continue to browse through the bar in front of me, I feel a tap on my shoulder, and spin round to come face-to-face with a tall, clearly older teen with short spiked blue hair and glasses.

"You look like you could use this. Go on, take it, I haven't spiked it or anything." I was promptly handed a glass of liquid which I easily identified as whisky, Jack Daniels none the less. _'Perfect! This is just what I need!'_ I happily accept the glass and take a small sip from it, releasing a short sigh of delight afterwards.

"Thanks man," I haven't met this guy before but I'm pretty sure Matt described someone exactly like the male standing in front of me, "You're one of Tai's friends aren't you? Was it...Jyou?"

"The very same, nice to meet you. I'll take an educated guess and say you're Yamato's little brother, Takeru?" He offers me a hand of his to shake, and it seems I've finally found an introduction that isn't awkward or a strain. _'Go figure Dai misses this one...'_

"That's me, nice to meet you too, Jyou."

"So why the long face? This is a party, you know?" Jyou elbows me gently in the arm as he chuckles through his words.

"Yeah I know, I think I just have a lot on my mind. A lot has happened lately." _'Why am I saying this? I'm just opening myself to questioning! But there's something about this guy, he seems understanding enough, even if I did just meet him.'_

"I get it. It's not every fortnight that you move towns, meet new friends, have your brother get hit by a car **and** find out that he's gay and has a boyfriend. Wow, must be fun being you!" I nod and laugh, agreeing with everything Jyou said, but my mind drifts back to my larger, unmentioned issue. Something must have faltered in my expression, and the teen next to me seems to pick up on it;

"Or did I miss something in the 'Takeru weekly calendar'? Anything you wanna tell me?"

"Well..." _'Ah screw it...' _"I've made quite a few new friends already in this first month, and I've been feeling some new things towards one of them. I think it might be more than friendship, but I'm insanely confused and can't make heads nor tails of anything..." Jyou takes a second to process all the information just given to him, then nods in understanding.

"Ok, well here's a few questions for you. First, is there anyone whose company you enjoy more than this person's?" I shake my head in admission. "Second, do you totally trust this person?" I nod. "Ok, third: are these feelings similar to anything you've ever felt for a friend before?" I shake my head again. "Well, considering that's all happened in just under a month, the answer seems clear to me, hmm?"

I stare at my now empty glass as I take a few moments to absorb all the information I've just been presented with, and no matter what arguments I try to make with myself or whatever alternatives I offer, through my tipsy mind everything suddenly becomes crystal clear. _'I like Dai. It's true, no matter how I try and deny it. Though now I'm not sure I want to deny it...'_ Jyou notices the smile creeping over my face and laughs.

"Well, you seem to know everything you need to now, I'll talk to you later Takeru!" and with that he was off, leaving me to top up my whisky before making my way towards the living-room to return to Dai.

While heading back, I hear some sort of low noise from a nearby bedroom. Ear pressed up against the door, I can hear what sounds like a long string of kisses. Normally I would ignore the event and move on, but with Jack Daniels impairing my better thinking, I silently open the door a few inches to peer in. _'Well hello there...'_ I think a microscope would be necessary so see any space between Koushiro and Mimi's faces right now! _'Guess the quiet computer whiz is just one side of him...'_ I close the door as quietly as I opened it, but can't help thinking what it would be like to do that with Dai. A red tint rapidly coats my face and I push the thought out of my head and rejoin the crowd.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

_'Hmm, how many vodkas have I had now? I dunno, but a few so I'm in the middle ground between tipsy and drunk. What's taking Takeru so long with getting a drink? Could he actually be **talking** to someone? Not likely.'_

This is a great party so far, and I could be getting far more involved in the frivolities, or I could be off catching up with my classmates but despite everything I could be doing, I'm much happier spending the evening by Takeru's side and helping him meet new people.

Yeah, I'm still battling with my feelings for the blond haired teen, and oh god he hasn't been making things easy...First he doesn't speak to me for the entirety of a weekend, after begging me to stay over the one before (mixed messages much?), so of course all of that weekend I thought of **nothing** but him! Then after that he super-concentrates the time spent with me, and I see him everywhere I turn, _'not that I was complaining...'_. All I know is that I have Takeru etched into my brain but know well enough to keep my mouth shut and feelings contained while not having a freaking clue what his game is...

While waiting for 'Keru to return, I was having a conversation with Sora about how different he acts out of his comfort zone. Although during our conversation, two girls...scratch that, two very drunk girls came over and started hitting on me! I think they were trying to get me to join them in one of the bedrooms, and Sora wasn't even attempting to restrain her laughter. After distracting the girls by telling them that Jyou was looking for a 'good time', I bolted out the back door and continued conversing with Sora and Kari, who had also joined us.

We were having a nice chat and laughing at the already terrible states of most guests when the lyrics produced by the iPod dock caught my attention;

_My hands are cold, my body's numb,_

_I'm still in shock, what have you done?_

_My head is pounding, my vision's blurred,_

_Your mouth is moving, I don't hear a word._

_'For fuck sake...Is the whole world out there to put me through emotional turmoil?' _Involuntarily, my mind zoomed back to my time at Tokyo High, when I heard the news about Archie, and my world came crashing down..._'If Danny O'Donoghue wasn't insanely hot, I'd hate him for his lyrics...'_

_And I hurt so bad, that I search my skin,_

_For the entry point, where love went in,_

_And ricochet, and bounced around,_

_And left a hole, when you walked out._

Unable to stand the lyrics and the associated pain any longer, I was thankfully able to realize that I could literally 'drown out' the music and grabbed a shot (or two) of tequila off of a table and downed them quickly in the hopes that my senses would falter.

_I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room,_

_Can anybody help me with these exit wounds...?_

Sure enough, either the tequila kicked in or someone turned the volume of the music down (_'doubtful'_) because the sound fades and I feel happier instantly, _'god bless alcohol...'_.

Getting closer and closer to drunk, I head back into the living-room where the guests are getting progressively louder.

_'Now where's 'Keru?'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Narrator's POV)_

Daisuke and Takeru were reunited after not too long, and the introductions continued, with both boys wondering exactly how many people Mimi invited to this party. The meetings were much less strained and awkward now, probably due to the increase of alcohol in...**everyone's **system. Night eventually turned into morning and alcohol continued to be imported into all party-goers. Daisuke eventually decided that a good ice-breaker for Takeru and his fellow teens would be to participate in some 'drinking games'.

Vodka flowed through the games, each player leaving rounds significantly more intoxicated than when they began. Eventually, a handsome dark haired boy whom Takeru was introduced to earlier as 'Henry' proposed a game of 'I Never'. Both Daisuke and Takeru managed to obtain a few more units of vodka, and it did not go unnoticed by Daisuke when his blond friend drank when "I never had sexual thoughts towards a friend of the same sex." was called out by one of the girls. The soccer players head was sent spinning from this sight (though some would argue that the spinning was thanks to the vodka) and he hadn't a clue what to think now.

xXxXxXxXx

It got to about 3am, and Daisuke/Takeru were some of the last teens to leave, by now completely drunk with slurred speech, impaired senses/thinking and haphazard movement – the 'party package' if you will. Neither boy was particularly aware of their movements or actions. Luckily for them, Daisuke's parents were at a conference for work and his sister Jun was staying at a friends house, so the pair were free to stumble into the house, using each other for support – and relishing the contact – without having to worry about making too much noise.

The two alcohol-saturated teens **eventually** make it to Daisuke's room, and retrieve their pyjamas in order to change. With the absence of his usually focused personality, Takeru's gaze spins round the room, finally landing on a half-naked Daisuke. The teens toned, muscular upper body is fully visible, and as he turns and bends over to take off his socks, Takeru can't help but stare at his friend's perfect ass. The blond can feel excitement building within him and his boxers tighten rather rapidly. In his severely drunken state, the blond struggles to remember much about the party, or his conversation with Jyou, and only recalled conceding to liking his burgundy-haired friend. The question plaguing his mind, even now at 3.30 in the morning was _'Could Dai like me back? Only one way to find out...'_

The blond seems to find a rather sudden, and uncharacteristic burst of confidence, and marches across the bedroom (not in a straight line, mind you...) towards Daisuke and after convincing himself one final time, spins the teen round, takes his face in his hands and brings their lips together.

To say that the soccer player is shocked would be understatement of the year...In any normal situation, he would be reminding himself of Archie and resisting this kiss with all his might, but the alcohol not only drowned out lyrics, but his willpower and self-control. So, too out of his mind to resist, Daisuke throws himself full-force into returning the kiss.

Takeru, not even thinking about consequences in his state, loses himself in the exchange taking place and begins to feel the legendary _'exploding fireworks' _that he's been waiting for since his time with Sophie and nothing in the world could feel more right to the blond at that moment than kissing his best friend.

Both boys can taste a pub's worth of alcohol, but neither of them care as Daisuke begs permission to enter Takeru's mouth, and as he eagerly complies, both of their tongues dance in harmony as they explore every inch of one another's mouths.

Takeru's hands eventually make their way round his friend's back, pulling him even closer. Daisuke mimics the action, and the teens pay no heed to the fact that the only clothing on either of them are pairs of boxers. Daisuke's hands move upwards, into the other boys golden locks and starts leading the two of them slowly across the room and manages to get all the way to his bed before oxygen finally becomes an issue, and the teens are forced to pull apart.

Both boys take a moment to gaze at one another as they lie on Daisuke's bed, with him on top. The tanned male notices the bulge present in his best friend's underwear and realizes he's extremely aroused himself. He slowly grinds his erection against Takeru's, earning a long, low moan in return. Seeing that the blond isn't objecting to their activities thus far, the drunken soccer player moves his hand down towards the other boy's boxers and strokes his erection through the material. Takeru is in heaven and melts into his friend's hand.

Daisuke soon moves down the body beneath him, until he is eye level with the owner's protruding member. Thumbing the waistband of the boxers, Daisuke looks back into Takeru's eyes, seeking permission to continue. After receiving a slow nod from the boy, Daisuke pulls the underwear down and releases the seven inch wonder from its' fabric cage. Cool air rushes towards the member, but is soon replaced by the warmth of Daisuke's hand. He slowly pumps his friend's erection, being rewarded with regular whimpers of pleasure from the intoxicated blond.

Takeru leans back against the pillow, and closes his eyes for just a moment, but that's all that the other teen needs to take him by surprise and lick his shaft up and down in a manner which the blond could only describe as 'euphoric'. He gasps in his surprise attack of pleasure, and ferverently hopes that this feeling will never end. Following a string of long, slow licks, the soccer player decides to tease the other boy by swirling his tongue round the tip of his penis and then alternating by returning to licking the shaft.

The blond was about to curse his friend for the teasing, before he suddenly felt his entire length surrounded by the wet warmth of Daisuke's mouth, and he is reduced to shivering in total ecstasy as his friend takes his time tasting the boy's cock. Daisuke slowly begins to bob his head up and down, determined to provide Takeru with maximum pleasure. The pleasure is getting to Daisuke too though, as he reaches downwards in order to free his own erection, taking it in hand. The tanned male begins to slowly jerk himself off whilst still giving the majority of his attention to pleasing Takeru. Daisuke knows he isn't going to last very long, and judging by the reactions of the blond below him, neither is he.

As Daisuke had predicted, just a couple of minutes later, Takeru feels the pressure building within him and shoots his hot load into his friend's mouth. It's the best orgasm he's ever had, and he just keeps on cumming, but Daisuke doesn't mind, as he happily swallows the whole lot. Just a moment after Takeru, Daisuke also reaches his climax and explodes onto the bed sheets underneath him. Had he been in a sober frame of mind, the teen would have either aimed his orgasm elsewhere, or at least changed the sheets but with his impaired thinking, simply wiped up his seed and climbed into bed with his friend, pulling a blanket over the pair of them.

Daisuke kisses his friend one last time and drapes an arm over his chest, allowing sleep to claim the pair.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

Opening my eyes is proving to be rather difficult this morning, and I doubt getting myself up will be any easier. And boy do I have a killer headache right now.

_'I either drank way too much last night or got hit by a train...'_ Summoning my strength, I attempt to sit up in bed, before shooting pains hit my temples and I'm forced to surrender for the time being.

_'Ugh, train. Oh well, hopefully I enjoyed myself and didn't do anything I need to apologize for...'_

I take in my surroundings and see I'm clearly in my room, though it does look more like a testing field for nuclear devices. I can see...**two** sets of clothes thrown around? _'Ohh right, 'Keru stayed over – duh!' _I glance to my left and sure enough, there's a 16-year-old blond male lying asleep next to me. That doesn't surprise me, but a rather odd feeling of freedom under the blanket **does.** _'Woah! Why the hell am I naked?' _

That's when the real headache starts. Suddenly images from last night flood back at full speed: The drinking games, the kiss and...the blowjob. We were so out of our minds last night that we didn't even realize...and now we...

"Shit..."

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC_

_A/N:_

_Gutter humour seems redundant at this stage..."I bet Dai would like to see your 'party-package'!" - Well he did so that doesn't work. Now I'm depressed._

_For the record, his whiskey story is based on my real life whiskey story at age 16 and I wear Givenchy, so he does too :D_

_Chapter 4(5) done, and damn! _

_Yeah this is my first fic and I think writing that sex-scene (or lemon if you prefer) was pretty brave! My last chapter seemed to be well received so tell me if I did a good job there or if I should just stick to dramatic fluffyness :P_

_More disclaimers: I do not own 'Exit Wounds' – 'The Script' do, and I take no credit for my little comment about either drinking too much or being hit by a train, that was said by the late Charlie Harper (R.I.P.)_

_Please R&R as usual, and tell me if you enjoyed that chapter or if I've lost my mind completely...See you soon!_


	6. Catalysed Conclusions

_**Holding Back **by **Daikeru Insanity**_

_Chapter 5(6) coming right up!_

_**Happy Birthday To Me! :D Yeah I wanted to post this chapter on my birthday, just cause :P And I succeeded!**_

_Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!_

_I think my plan for this chapter exceeded twice the length of any of its predecessors..._

_Hopefully I can recover from last chapter's disaster :P_

_Reviewers!_

_**Takato the Dreamer: **You lie, lemon no good xP Either way, glad you liked most of it. Yeah I know but I had to get to the party eventually, and it's just to kick off the rest of this fic :)_

_**lgaz123: **Aww, thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it so much, and yeah I love Joe 3 I know what you mean about going too fast, I regretted it almost instantly but I feel it needed to happen for the following events. I appreciate the very justified constructive criticism!_

_**TKViedarts: **You squealed, that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling :P Hope you did for this chapter too! Yeah well it isn't a huge event, but Tai isn't the impulsive one this time round..._

_**KoumiLoccness: **Glad you enjoyed it, but not sure I'm gonna dye Izzy's hair :P Also, sorry but Ioryako gets no where near my fic...Cody can die._

_**SCHWARZSCHILD: **Yay, more reviewers :D! I love hearing that people enjoy the fic, and I was actually thinking about doing a Taito side-fic after this, but still unsure..._

_**haosthunder: **Thank you! XD_

_Disclaimer: You know the drill, I do not now, or ever will own Digimon or its given characters. I just own the plot as well as Archie + Daniel. That drunk whiskey story is mine too..._

_On with Holding Back!_

_Chapter 5_

_'Catalysed Conclusions'_

_(Takeru's POV)_

Light bursting in through the unshielded window hits me dead on, and I'm rather begrudgingly forced to awaken, much like the day I left Tokushima.

_'Holy crap, that light physically hurts! My head is pounding, my memory is fuzzy, and my stomach is...uh oh, bathroom!' _I rush to the nearby bathroom as fast as my feet will carry me, and I hastily slide across the tiled floor , stick my head in the toilet, and release the apparently impatient vomit. _'Good god, this hangover is ridiculous! Maybe I really did find some cyanide pills...'_

After about five minutes of home-brand stomach pumping, I shakily and slowly make my way back to the room I woke up in and crawl back in bed. Though something is a bit off, and that's the fact that I'm pretty sure this isn't my room. It looks like...Dai's? My memory then begins to come back in small glimpses and I manage to remember that I was to stay over after Mimi's party (most of which is completely forgotten). Upon remembering this fact, one question does require answering: Where is Daisuke?

For the next couple of minutes I laid and tried to piece together the events of the previous night. I recalled that I had finally accepted my feelings for the soccer player, but I was keeping them to myself since they surely wouldn't be returned. _'Man, I hope I didn't tell him like that by accident when I was drunk. That would be awkward...'_

I then notice that this whole time, a post-it note has been stuck to the wall next to the bed, so I painfully sit up in order to read its message:

"_Takeru, good morning/afternoon (given your state, probably the latter). I hope you're ok, you drank an unholy amount last night. If you need anything, Jun's back home and will take care of whatever you want. _

_You're probably quite confused and don't remember a lot – just don't jump to conclusions, we didn't have sex! Look, I know how it must seem, me having bolted and everything, but I just can't face this right now. Gimme some time to clear my head. You can let yourself out when you want to, I'm really sorry! _

_Daisuke._

_'Sex? Why on Earth would we have...' _Cue the gongs. Suddenly the memory of last night's most significant activity hits me like a freight train, in all its explicit detail. Realizing that I'm still naked, I blush profusely and pull the covers further up my body, despite the present lack of company. _'Thank god he's not here actually...I think I need time to collect my own thoughts. For now, let's get out of here before he gets back!' _So as if the building was on fire, I rapidly throw on my new set of clothes, collect all of my items and make my speedy escape from the apartment building, avoiding for the time being what would no doubt of been the most awkward conversation of my life.

I set a quick pace towards home, eager to get a long, hot shower and anything **but** eager to have to an unfortunately, desperately needed talk.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

_'I feel pretty crappy about leaving 'Keru alone, given his state, but there was no way I could talk to him about what happened! Besides, if anything bad were to happen, my sister is home to look after him.'_

After I regained my memory of last night, I panicked. All my worst fears had come to fruition, so instead of staying to face the situation like a man (and friend), I ran. Not one of my proudest moments...It was the only thing I could think to do! When I realized what happened, all I could do was think of Archie.

_'Archie...I need to make sure the same doesn't happen with Takeru, I need to protect him, therefore we can't be together.' _My resolve was almost set, but the voices in my head had other plans;

_'Yeah, but what about **you**,Daisuke? Last night was one of the best times of your life, don't even try to deny it!' _Unfortunately the voice is correct, as even though I'm panicking over our experience and wishing more than anything that it hadn't happened, I can't stop thinking about how amazing it was...Damn. This situation isn't gonna be an easy one to deal with, and I'm not really sure I can cope alone.

After a few minutes of pacing in the children's park I had passively wondered to, my mind was (for once today) made up. Sighing, I reach into the pocket of my jeans to extract my cell phone and dial my friend's number.

*Ring**Ring* "Hello?" The usual chipper voice comes clearly through the device and despite everything going on in my head and heart, I can't help but gain a small grin upon hearing her greeting.

"Hey Kari, it's Daisuke. Are you at home just now?"

"Yeah, everyone else is out so I'm home alone."

"Could I maybe come over? I really need to talk to you..."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

Given the hurry that I was in, it didn't take long before I had reached home. Although in the short journey, I had thrice been one push of a button away from calling Dai, but resisted each time, deciding we would both need a fair amount of time apart before confronting this. _'Thank god Friday was the last day of school for a fortnight, otherwise Monday could have been pretty tense..._

Checking my cell phone, I could see that that it was almost noon which meant that both Matt and Dad would be home. Gathering my thoughts, and putting on the best _'Nothing happened last night/I'm perfectly alcohol free' _face that I could muster, I gingerly open the door and step into the house.

Neither my brother nor father seem to notice me, being too thoroughly engrossed in whatever TV show they're watching. Using this to my advantage, I shout a brief greeting to them whilst moving swiftly towards my bedroom upstairs.

Fighting back any urges to vomit again, I reach into my bedside table and pull out the strongest headache tablets I can find. Popping the pills like skittles and leaving the packet on top of the table, I collapse onto my bed with a groan.

After what must have been an hour, I reawaken to find another presence leaning against the door, watching over me. Through groggy, hungover, sleep-deprived eyes I can make out the head of spiky, blond hair that belongs to my brother.

As a side thought, he's doing a lot better now, as the past three weeks have done wonders in healing his injuries. Matt can now use crutches and minor movement is available for the rest of his body. He spent three days mastering the stairs with crutches, but he was so determined to regain his independence. I really admire Matt, as he never once complained about his condition and would always wear that same smile which I love and cheer up all those around him. The physical therapy must be tough, but all things considered, Matt should be good as new sooner than expected, but it'll still be a while.

Rubbing my eyes for a few seconds, my vision is clearer and I notice Matt looking over to my table, eyeing the open packet of headache tablets with a knowing smirk upon his face.

"Have a good time last night?" His response comes far louder and more enthusiastic than is to my taste. I just sigh and flop my head back against my pillow.

"Where's dad?" _'Subject change...__**please!**__'_

"Same place as usual, work. He got called about twenty minutes ago and they wanted his help with a big problem." _'On a Sunday? Take a day off for once dad...'_

"So how was Mimi's? Anything exciting happen which I should know about? You know how it is, people always seem to hook up at these parties!"

"Erm, well you see..." I try to stall for time while I think of a convincing lie, but unfortunately my brother has always been able to see through the smokescreens I put up.

"You're blushing, Takeru. Did **you** hook up with someone?" I can read his expression like a bad cookery programme recipe. _'A good dollop of excitement and interest followed by a heaped tablespoon of brotherly __concern and to finish off, just a sprinkle of disbelief. Voila! The perfect recipe for disaster...'_

That's good Takeru, cause jokes are gonna get you out of this one. Fuck. _'You know you have to talk to him about it. He's gonna be the only one who understands, and I'm too close to the situation to make heads nor tails of anything. Oh well, out of the frying pan, as they say...'_

Taking a long, heavy sigh, I prepare myself for the tough explanation ahead of me. "Ok Matt, I'm gonna tell you, but you have to promise to keep it to yourself! You can't even tell Tai."

Matt hesitates slightly, the idea of keeping secrets from his boyfriend obviously not sitting well with him. He surrenders to my conditions however, and soon enough replies; "Alright, I promise. Now what happened with you?"

_'Oh boy, where do I start?' _

"Well, you see, Dai and I..."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke POV)_

I wasn't very far from Kari's apartment when I called, so it only took me about five minutes to get there. I prepared myself for the heart-wrenching explanation that was to come, and I rang the doorbell. True to her word, Kari was the only one home, and hurriedly let me in, ushering me towards her bedroom, clearly anxious to hear whatever emergency I had. _'I must have __sounded pretty desperate on the phone...'_

Now I'm currently sitting on one of Kari's chairs, facing her with my back to the bedroom door. Kari seats herself comfortably on her bed, looks into my eyes, and commences her casual interrogation...

"So Dai, what's up? You sounded really worried over the phone, and I don't like it. Are you in some kind of trouble?" Her voice is laced with obvious concern, which just reassures me that I've come to the right person to unload my emotions.

"Well, I wouldn't class it as 'trouble', but something did happen last night."

Kari takes a moment to ponder my words, clearly trying to work out what I mean; "Something happened? What do you..." _'And there it is...it's clicked.' _"Oh! Did you get together with someone?"

The question wasn't unexpected, but I was still a bit startled, more from the memory than anything else. I've never been the kind of guy to hide my emotions well, and the look of embarrassment in my eyes apparently gives Kari the answer she seeks.

"Ooh, good for you Dai! It's been forever since you were with someone! So spill the beans, who was it? I bet it was Rika, she was pretty gone last night and you know how she gets after a few drinks..."

_'I am **so **not in the mood for guessing games. Sorry Kari, gonna have to hit you head on with this.'_

"Heh, heh. Actually...It was...Takeru." Everything just goes downhill from here...

"...I'm sorry, what? Did I mishear you there?" _'You're not making this easy, Kari!'_

"Nope, you heard right. I hooked up with Takeru Takaishi." If this whole process wasn't ridiculously awkward, then the look on her face would call for a Kodak moment...

"Riiiiiiiight...So are you saying that when you two went back to yours, you...you know?" Her suggestive tone and hand actions gets her point across surprisingly clear, and my eyes practically leaped out of their sockets and I start to panic. _'I'd better set the record straight!'_

"No! No, we didn't do THAT, but..." All I'm getting in response from the brunette facing me is a look of total confusion. "Do I need to draw you a labeled diagram?"

"Oh good lord, no. I think I understand what you mean now, don't worry." _'Well that's a start at least...now what?' _Having not a clue where this conversation is gonna go next, I'm left to blush and literally twiddle my thumbs. Kari picks up on this and asks her next question;

"Ok then, so what's the issue? Did he freak out, or just not enjoy your...'activities'?" _'That was __**so **__awkward for her to say, I just know it.'_

"No, nothing like that. If I remember correctly, he actually initiated it. If anything, I was the one that freaked."

"Really? That's odd, cause seeing the way you've been looking at him I would have thought you'd enjoy doing that." _'Oh you haven't a clue...'_

"I did! That's the problem though. I'm pretty sure he did too, despite how drunk he was." She's just staring now, her face never settling on an emotion for more than a moment. _'I think I broke her brain.'_

"...Nope, you've lost me. You like him right?"

There's no escaping it now. Whether I like it or not, I'm into Takeru. I reluctantly nod at Kari's question.

"Right, so what you're telling me is that you and the guy you like just mutually enjoyed a night of vodka fueled passion, yet you're complaining? That logic is seriously flawed, even by your standards Dai."

"But this is all wrong! This can't be happening!" _'This isn't what I wanted...'_

"And why not?" The question brings all my memories of Archie and Tokyo High to the forefront of my mind again, and I find myself avoiding the question, gazing in the direction of the bedroom window as if all the answers were written on the glass. This doesn't last long however.

"It's time Dai." The remark comes from a different, more masculine voice. I spin my chair round to find Tai's familiar tall figure standing in the doorway, looking down at me with his large brown eyes, full of concern. "Tell us what happened back then."

Tai enters the room fully and sits next to his sister on the bed but doesn't release the stare fixated on me. Knowing that I can't hold him off any longer, I sigh in defeat and prepare myself to open the emotional bottle that has been successfully closed ever since moving to Odaiba...

"From the beginning?"

"Yeah, and don't worry, we won't be gossiping to anyone about what you tell us, right Kari?" She nods in agreement, realizing that what I'm going to say is serious and not for the entire Odaiba Academy student body to know.

"Right, well you guys obviously know that I moved here from the other side of Tokyo almost two years ago?" I receive nods from both of the siblings, their eyes clearly showing their curiosity. "Well, what you don't know is that while I was at Tokyo High, I had a best friend...Archie."

Just uttering his name throws me off my perch but I know I need to concentrate and push past this!

"Eventually I gathered up enough courage to tell him that I had feelings for him and to my surprise, he returned my affection. After that, we started dating." I think Kari was about to break out a very girly 'awwwwww' if it weren't for Tai clasping her mouth with his hand, apparently understanding that this isn't a story with a happy ending. After calming his sister down, Tai motions for me to continue.

"Despite the fact that we were so young, Archie and I fell for each other so easily. We were each others first boyfriend and he was the first person I've ever truly loved. For the first seven months of our relationship, we both felt unparalleled happiness and our lives were perfect. The only people we decided to tell were our best friends, Ryo and Daniel, who were both totally supportive and ecstatic for us!" _'And now, cue the violins...' _I take a small break, half to take a breath and half to steel myself in order to relive the rest of the tale without falling prey to tears.

"But then everything fell apart, in the worst way possible. One day when I was leaving Archie's house, I took a moment to give him a goodbye kiss as I would always do. Well, the captain of our soccer team happened to be passing nearby at the time and saw the two of us together. Naturally by the following Monday morning, **everyone** at school knew that we were 'a pair of dirty fags'..." Tai notices that my fists are clenched, knuckles threatening to turn white upon the memories and leans closer in order to lay a hand on my shoulder.

"You're doing great, Dai. I know this sucks, but keep going." _'Damn that reassuring, big-brother like smile of his! Still, it has calmed me down, if only slightly.' _I uncurl my fists and lightly sigh, but Tai doesn't remove his hand.

"Thanks Tai." He just nods at me and withdraws his hand, allowing me to pick up from where I left off. "So as I was saying, things turned sour after that incident. We certainly saw everyone's true colours in the months that followed. The normally friendly, docile students started shouting abuse at Archie and I, regularly and relentlessly. The verbal abuse was continuous, both inside school and out. Everyone seemed to have the same, derogatory opinion..."

"Did you not go the staff or anything? Surely someone could have helped!" Kari shouts at me, more in disbelief that people acted the way they did than in anger towards me.

"I know that telling people about these bullying incidents does help but you can't monitor the entire student population, especially outside school grounds..." After a moment of contemplation, Kari begrudgingly concedes and simmers down.

"Anyway, the pair of us constantly received insulting calls, threatening texts and guys even came to our doors to hurl abuse at us, just for being in love with one another. We quickly found out that our school population was almost entirely comprised of bigots. Ryo and Daniel did what they could to try and help but their powers to assist were limited and we didn't want them becoming outcasts too."

"I just don't get what's so goddamn wrong about being gay! Does no-one understand that we're still people, just like them?" Now Tai's anger is building, but he makes a good point. We hadn't suddenly become different people, all that had changed in their eyes was that we were both in love with a guy...

"Well the bullying wasn't just verbal...At every opportunity, the big, tough guys from our school would jump Archie or I and give us a thorough bashing. We never got breaks from it either, they made sure of that." _'Here comes the toughest part...'_

"The thing is, even throughout all of that crap, I could take it. I wasn't happy about what was happening to me, but I could withstand it...as long as I had Archie. He gave me hope amidst the darkness." My hands start to shake, knowing what I'm about to discuss. I shove them into my pockets and try to maintain composure.

"Unfortunately, Archie couldn't handle it...He lost everything. Practically all of his old friends abandoned him, he was kicked off of his rugby and swimming teams too. He lived for sports, and losing them hit him hard. It wasn't just hobbies either, as his grades nose-dived too...and all because he loved me."

Kari looks at me anxiously, noticing my lip has started to quiver, so I bite it quickly to try and maintain my brave face. This obviously doesn't work as she rushes over to give me a big, comforting hug. _'Save that hug for later, I might need it...'_

Once Kari had released me and sat down, I continued my less that glamorous love story; "One of the worst incidents happened about ten months into the relationship, when I went over to spend a Saturday with Archie. His parents were both at work - which wasn't uncommon - so I knew he would be alone. I was accepted by his parents as extended family, so as I always did, I let myself into the house." Holding back a few tears, I gather my strength and press on in the hopes that the Kamiya siblings don't see me at my weakest.

"I checked in his bedroom but I couldn't find him. As I went upstairs however, I could hear the hum of the bathroom's extractor fan. Following the noise, I approached the doorway and that's when my heart sank. I saw Archie facing the mirror above the sink, arm extended, with a razor aimed at his wrist!" Kari wears a strong expression of shock while Tai looks deeply saddened, yet understanding.

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I immediately ran over and snatched the razor away before he could execute his plan. He burst out in tears and all I could do was helplessly hold him in my embrace whilst he repeatedly told me that he 'just wanted to die'. I was heartbroken...Of course I watched him like a hawk for the rest of the afternoon and I told his mother as soon as she got home. The whole situation was a complete nightmare..."

All of the memories are really starting to hit me now, as a few tears are forming but I've given up caring now.

"It was a couple of weeks after that when I next went to his house, but there was no one home and when I looked in the window, none of their possessions were in sight. One of the neighbours saw me and came across to tell me that Archie's family had actually moved away the day before. I mean...Archie had grown a bit more distant before hand, but he never even called to let me know, or say goodbye!"

My entire body is shaking now, and Kari attempts to pull me into another hug but I stop her before she can, as I'm not finished with _'Daisuke Motomiya's A Series of Unfortunate Events'..._

"That's when I got really depressed...Archie seemed to hate me and want nothing to do with me, as he never contacted me afterwards. Then again, can I really blame him? By loving him and being his boyfriend, I had completely ruined his life and had cost him everything he treasured." Tai looked ready to start an argument over that summary but the glare I gave him through my tears was enough to derail his plan.

"So, I decided not to try and contact him either and just pray he picked himself up in his new town. When my mother decided to move us here to be closer to family, I thought it would be a good opportunity for a fresh start, so I severed all connections with Tokyo High, except for Ryo, and now Daniel too...And everything was going well here, but then I met...T-Takeru." The tears are coming stronger and faster now and beginning to form a stream down my cheeks.

"Everything's fallen apart again...I can't be with Takeru! I refuse to allow anyone else's life to be ruined on my account! I-I have to protect him...What happened with Archie will never happen again!" Emotions haven finally overcome me, I run from the room, tears in full flow and I lock myself in the bathroom for now, doing nothing to hold back the pain...

xXxXxXxXx

_(Taichi's POV)_

"Dai, wait!"

I extend an arm in order to prevent my impulsive little sister from running off. "Kari, don't. Just give him a little space, that was a lot to get off his chest..." She sighs in defeat and a frown forms on her face,

"You're right, this whole thing just sucks! I really wish there was something that we could do for him!"

"I know Kari, I don't like it anymore than you do, but what can we do?" _'That was one hell of a story that Daisuke unloaded on us, and it does explain a lot. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him into reliving it...Oh Dai, if there was __**anything**__ that I could do to relieve your pain I would, but what can be done?'_

"Tai look, is that Dai's phone?" I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Kari's question, and sure enough, just outside the bedroom door is the black, rectangular smart phone belonging to the burgundy haired teen. I pull myself from the bed in order to retrieve it for him. _'Must have fallen out of his pocket when he was running.' _I almost set it down on top of Kari's set of drawers before a sudden flash of inspiration hits me. _'Maybe there __**is**__ something I can do! It's pretty crazy, but then again, I specialize in crazy...'_

"Tai...What's wrong?" Kari asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, Kari" A smirk appears on my face, and my mind is made up. "Quite the opposite actually, go get me a pen and paper!" She runs to the kitchen to fulfill my request while I unlock Dai's phone and immediately hit the 'Contacts' button. I begin scrolling through the names that have appeared, and just as Kari returns and sets a pad and pen in front of me, I find what I've been searching for. My eyes contain a glimmer of excitement mixed with hope as I write down the number presented to me on the HTC's screen.

"Yup, this'll do."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

"Ok, let me get this straight..." My brother has been pacing back and forth across my room for the past ten minutes as I regaled him with tales of drunk teenagers and accidental oral sex...Yeah, it was awkward.

"So you and Daisuke had a hefty amount to drink last night, and when you got back to his, you had your...'exchange'? Then when you woke up, he was gone and had left a note explaining everything?" My silence prompted him to continue, assuming he was correct thus far. "Now you're freaking out and feeling all nervous because you're certain that you like him?"

"Basically, yeah." My calm, neutral reply only throws Matt further. He starts to rub his temples, a habit of his whenever deep in contemplation. Apparently having reached a conclusion, his pacing stops and he sits beside me on my bed, establishing firm eye contact.

"Look, as much as I hate to see my – up until now – innocent little bro' rush into stuff of that nature, maybe it was a good thing that this happened.." I think I just risked whiplash with the speed I turned at, but I'm sure my brother has lost his mind! I stare at him with disbelief in my eyes.

"Excuse me?" He chuckles in response, and his whole expression softens.

"Don't give me that look, like I'm crazy. You liked him, but you weren't going to do anything about it right? You were scared, and he probably was too – so now that this has happened, you can both grow a pair and get together!" _'Ok, ok, let's grab a hold of reality and take it for a ride, shall we?'_

"It isn't that simple Matt...How would people react? I doubt everyone's going to accept it as if it were nothing and I'd rather not have people turn against me." He just rolls his eyes and scoffs at me...I may hit him.

"Oh please! For obvious reasons, I don't care if you're gay and do you really think our friends would shun you, given that they all know about Daisuke anyway? As for anyone else, if we don't know them, who cares what they think?" _'*sigh* He has a good point, and I already knew that answer anyway. It isn't our friends that I'm worried about.'_

"What...what about dad?" As if by magic, I can hear the front door opening and dad shouts his greeting to us. Matt is staring at me sympathetically, obviously sharing my concerns.

"I understand. Well...I guess there's only one way to reassure you!" Before I can ask what he means, my brother gives me a clap on the shoulder and hobbles out the room, heading downstairs. Assuming that I'm supposed to, I quickly get up to follow him, wondering what insane plan is forming in that mind of his. I don't even have time to ask, as we don't take long to reach the kitchen, and Matt addresses our father.

"Hey dad, thought you had to work?" Unsure of exactly what the hell is going on, I take a seat at the table and just watch silently.

"I did, but turns out the problem I was supposed to help fix wasn't a real problem at all, just some screw up by an intern. I'm going back in later tonight." He sighs, pours himself a glass of orange juice and then takes the end seat of the table, quickly followed by Matt sitting opposite me, never removing his gaze from our father.

"Look dad, I need to tell you something. It's pretty tough, but you need to know, and I'm not gonna beat around the bush about it..." _'Oh hell no! He's not gonna...surely not cause of me? Matt, stop you idiot!'_

Cue dad's game face. "Alright, what's the matter? You can tell me anything, that goes for both of you."

"Well...to put it in a nutshell...I'm gay." _'Shit, shit, shit. Maybe if I close my eyes and wish hard enough, this'll all have been some nightmare...' _Matt seems quite visibly nervous, but has an expert poker face compared to me, sitting panicking like the time I broke Matt's favourite guitar...

"Alright. I'm not sure what you expect me to say, but I'm proud of you for telling me." _'I knew this was a bad idea, now Matt's gone and ruined...wait, what was that?' _Matt relaxes, while I feel the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders, yet I'm still somewhat stunned.

"You're ok with that, dad?" The questions wasn't meant to imply that I feel differently, but apparently it did...

"Why wouldn't I be? Yamato's my son, and I don't care if he's straight or not. Love is love, regardless of the format it comes in. You don't happen to have a problem with this, do you?" The question feels more like a command, and Matt just snorts at our fathers' response.

"No, no, of course not!" I flash a small smile to help strengthen my words, and it seems to appease him for now.

"Good, then there won't be any issues. Wait, there is one thing. Yamato?"

"Yes, dad?"

"Just tell that Taichi boy that if he hurts you, he'll have me to deal with." _'Holy...I don't even know what's happening now. How could he possibly have known that?' _ Matt is far more calm than I am and laughs out loud at the threat.

"Will do, dad!" After having finished the conversation, dad heads towards his room to get changed out of his work clothes. I remain still, the disbelief having still not dissipated. My brother then also gets up to leave but before doing so, steps behind me and whispers in my ear;

"Looks like you've got no excuses now. Go for it!"

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

It's Wednesday now, and I'm sitting at home alone, watching some comedy show on TV that I don't really care about. The events of Saturday/Sunday are still playing heavily on my mind, but I thankfully managed to get out of the Kamiya apartment alive. Luckily, after my little pity party in the bathroom, they refrained from asking many questions.

I still haven't seen 'Keru since Sunday morning...I miss him like crazy and I just wish everything could go back to the way it was before the party! I hate avoiding my best friend and feeling awkward every time his name comes up in conversation, but there isn't a whole lot I can do now. Maybe this is for the best so that neither of us get hurt any more than necessary..._'Bullshit, Dai. This is the worst...'_

I'm not left to ponder on this for very long, as I hear a slow, almost hesitant knock on our apartment door. _'Wonder who that could be, no one else is home...Maybe it's Kari, she's been very concerned for the past few days, calling me frequently.' _I get up off of the couch and move towards the door and as I swing it open to greet my visitor, my heart stops.

I take back what I said on Sunday, **now** all of my worst fears have come to fruition. I can do nothing but remain frozen in place and stare at the slightly taller brunet. His skin has a slight tan to it, and his muscles are easily visible, even through the black leather jacket he wears. His dark brown eyes stare directly into mine, and he greets me with a rather sheepish smile.

"Hey Dai..."

_'Seriously...was I Stalin in a previous life or something?' _

"H-Hi...Archie."

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC_

_A/N:_

_Well, I hope that was enough of a cliffhanger for you! We finally understand what's up with Dai!I just hope that this chapter is received better than the last one. I feel better about this chapter so fingers crossed!_

_By the way, is the 'humour' that I put in actually funny? Let me know, cause I'm a bit self-conscious about it..._

_So there's Chapter 5(6) done, and on time for my birthday!_

_I'm contemplating a Taito side-fic to this once it's done like I said, so please let me know if you think that's a good idea/if you'd read it etc...Your opinions are important!_

_R&R please, and hope you're enjoying Holding Back – now you understand the title :D_


	7. Breaking The Barriers

_**Holding Back **_by _**Daikeru Insanity**_

_Here comes Chapter 6(7)!_

_Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!_

_God my plan for this chapter took a long time to write!_

_Really sorry for later than usual update, I am still alive! My computer crashed twice while I was working which did not amuse me -.- Alsoe, I've dealt with my ton of work for Uni now so I'll be able to focus on my writing :D_

_I've been having my thoughts about two other fics to write (after HB of course) and one will be a multi-chapter olden style Taito while the other will probably be a one-shot Takouji so let me know how you feel about that!_

_Like my cliffhanger last chapter? Let's see if you still like me after this chapter. I need to think a lot more about how to properly express feelings now to ensure the later events make sense._

_Not sure how I feel about this one given I'm not as comfortable writing in Narrator POV but we'll see…_

_Reviewers!_

_**KoumiLoccness: **__What? Nothing happened? Were you reading the same chapter I wrote? :o Still, thanks for your comments :P_

_**lgaz123: **__After re-reading your review before writing I feel quite bad about my late update, __forgive me! I'm really happy to hear you're enjoying it and hope this next chapter will keep you attached! :)_

_**Takato the Dreamer: **__Oh it's on...whether in this story or another one, I shall find the worst cliffhanger possible! I couldn't possibly write Matt__'s Dad as a douche, I love him! Glad you enjoyed chap and thanks for birthday wishes :)_

_**TKViedarts: **__Heart-jerking was pretty much what I was aiming for so thank you! Evil me with cliffhanger :) I fear I'll be making it obvious what'll happen but other tha__n the main events I just make it up as I plan then refine it :P Thanks for the birthday wishes!_

_Disclaimer: No, I didn't get the rights to Digimon for my birthday so I do not own Digimon or any of its characters or original ideas :/ I just own Archie (which just so happens to be the name of my boyfriend xD) and the characters sense of humour..._

_On with Holding Back!_

_Chapter 6_

_'Breaking The Barriers'_

_(Daisuke's POV)_

_'This cannot seriously be happening to me! Maybe if I just wish him away...?'_

"Hello, anyone awake in there?" _'No such luck.'_

Archie is actually standing in front of me for the first time in over two years. I just can't believe this. My gorgeous ex-boyfriend is waving his hand back and forth in front of my face, clearly attempting to gain some form of response. He many have to wait a while, because I'm currently off in another world. My mind is racing at 100mph, with far more questions present than answers.

_'How is this even happening? Why do I have to deal with this? What is Archie even doin__g here? After two years he still looks really good...STOP THAT! I need to try and keep a clear mind if I've any chance of getting through this with some __sanity __remaining__.'_

The tanned, flawless-faced teen continues to stare into my eyes, still waiting for my response. _'I swear that God is testing my faith, and I don't even believe in him! Come on Daisuke, all you nee__d to do is articulate a reasonably__ coherent thought and we'll be off to a good start!'_

"Oh...sorry..." _'Fantastic work, Daisuke.' _Archie looks down and quietly chuckles at my clear vocabular superiority.

"I guess you're a little surprised to see me, huh?" _'No, not at all! I always expect my ex-boyfriends to suddenly appear after more than two years whenever I start to like a new guy...'_

"Little bit, yeah." There are so many different emotions running through me right now that I've lost all sense of reality. The man that I've tortured myself over for two years, who's unwittingly kept me from being happy and has meant more to me than anyone else is suddenly back in my life, in my apartment, three days after having fully realized my feelings for Takeru! _'There is __**no way**__ that's a coincidence. I just know this was all orchestrated. Answer time.'_

"Archie, what are you doing here...Actually, never mind that! How did you even know where to find me?"

"That bit's pretty simple actually. I got a call from your friend Taichi on Sunday evening and he caught me up to speed on that weekend's 'activities'. Anyways, he asked me to come to Odaiba and he gave me your addr-"

My face steadily heated up in anger right from the word 'Taichi'. It didn't take me too long to realize that I had clearly left my phone alone with them for a significant amount of time whilst I hid in the bathroom. What did confuse me however was that I had no number for Archie stored on the device. _'How the hell did Tai contact him? I never gave him any information which could have...' _Brainwave! _'That sly bastard. He must have called Daniel and gotten the number from him! Makes sense given the b__ackstory I_ _provided.' _With my bitter conclusion drawn, I interrupted Archie mid explanation;

"Kamiya's a dead man..." Having got sufficiently wound up over Tai's deception and meddling, my fists clench in anger, knuckles threatening to whiten. Recognizing my standard 'calm before the storm' exterior, Archie lays a hand on my shoulder, making me release a breath I hadn't noticed that I was holding. "Don't get at mad him, Dai, please! I know that it wasn't the most...delicate solution that Taichi could have found, but he's seriously worried about you and he was being a good friend to you by calling me."

_'This whole week is giving me a migraine! Unfortunately I doubt that popping a couple of paracetamol is gonna fix anything. Guess I'll just try and get through this as painlessly as possible...Yeah I doubt that as well.'_

"Back to my original question, what are you doing here, Archie?" Sighing slightly, Archie uses the hand still on my shoulder to direct me towards the living room.

"Let's go sit down Dai, we have a lot to talk about."

_'I was afraid of that...'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

"Matt, are you sure about this? Cause I'm not." _'If my shaky hands a__ren't a strong enough indication of that then the uncontrollable sweating must __be getting the message across. __'Nervous' would b__e an understatement!'_

"Good lord, what are you worrying about NOW? Let's recap shall we? He's bisexual, currently single and did...that with you, what else do you want?" Matt's been dealing with my insecure panicking for three days straight, so I guess I can understand his irritation. Still, he had it easy! All he needed to do was get hit by a car and like magic he had a boyfriend. _'Now there's an idea...No Takeru! You're not gonna __throw yourself in front of a car just__ to get Dai.'_

"Yeah, but it was how he reacted the morning after which scares me. I mean, he freaked out and fled his own apartment just to get away from me! That doesn't exactly scream 'I love you'. I'd rather not do anything which is going to further damage a still salvageable friendship."

"Ugh!" Matt screams out in frustration, looking ready to literally slap some sense into me. "Have we not been over this a hundred times already? It's not like he's going to freak and suddenly hate you. The boy's bi himself after all. I would say that he won't let things get weird but let's face it...how much more awkward can it get?"

"I'd prefer to not find that out, if it's all the same to you. In terms of not letting things get weird, allow me to remind you that **he** ran out on **me **and hasn't contacted me since..." My brother rolls his eyes and scoffs at my latest argument.

"Right. Cause you've been trying day and night to get through to him, eh?" That same sarcasm which makes any argument involving Matt entertaining can also be a right bitch when being used against me.

"That's different! I've just realized that not only am I gay, but I'm in love with my best friend! Bit of a revelation, Matt..." _'I say that, but that isn't what's bothering me. Surprisingly, over the past few days I've accepted and embraced my new fe__elings for the tanned soccer player quite easily. It's the fear of rejection which has me trapped now! Every time I come up with a good reason to go for it with Dai, I end up recollecting how he freaked on the Sunday morning and I freeze. God bless Matt fo__r his patience with me, I'd b__e nothing but a panicky, rambl__ing mess without him to set me straight...so to speak.'_

My brother shrugs his shoulders at my logic, then adjusts his seating position so that eye contact is ensured across the otherwise deserted living room. _'Crap, here come the big guns...'_

"Look Takeru, rationalize it however you like, but the cold, hard truth is that love is **not** rational. Nobody can control where love will occur, when it will be experienced, or with whom it is shared. All that we can do is to make the most of love, and not let the opportunity to have it slip from our grasp!" _'The man has his first serious relationship, and in less than a month he's suddenly Casanova?' _ Matt accompanies his little speech with a variety of hand actions and tones, strongly emphasizing each of his points, not to mention also getting a little carried away...

"Alright Cupid, calm down before you start running through the town in a diaper slinging your 'arrows of love'."

Despite my clear mocking of his 100% serious speech, Matt chuckles at my snide comment, re-settling himself into a relaxed position in the black armchair, his expression far more serene than previously.

"Haha, fair enough. In all seriousness though, I genuinely believe that the worst outcome of confessing your feelings would be Daisuke saying 'no'. Obviously you don't have to take my advice, but you do need to realize something: The longer you wait, the more likely Daisuke is to end up with someone else, and if that happens, you'll never stop punishing yourself. Then things **will** get worse between the pair of you." Stopping slightly to take a breath and arrange his thoughts, I new idea strikes my brother. "Plus, if you were both sober enough to at least remember what transpired, then you must have had some degree of self-control. With that in mind, I'm sure Daisuke is just dealing with his new feelings for you too. Regardless of sexuality, it's never easy falling in love with someone that close."

_'Yeah but...I...What if...Aw crap, all his suggestions are water-tight! Guess there's no backing out from this one. I'm already knee-deep as it is. What have I got to lose?'_

Sighing in defeat, I cease my defence and concede to Matt's logic. "I know you're right Matt, I just...I don't know what to say to him." My brother smiles sympathetically towards me, his expression softening even further.

"No one ever does, little bro'. As cheesy and cliched as it is, just go see him and speak from the heart. When you're face to face with him, the words will be there, I promise you. Everything will work out fine, Takeru."

With confidence restored and my resolve set in stone (_'For now...'_), I get up from the leather couch, grab my wallet and head for the apartment door, path clear in mind. "Alright, I'm off to see him, thanks for everything Matt! You're the best!" Apparently satisfied with his motivational abilities, Matt puts his legs up, turns the TV on and begins to flip through the channels.

"Anytime bro'. Go get him tiger!" His laughter is the last thing I hear as the apartment door closes behind me. _'Show time, Takeru.'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Narrator's POV)_

The current tension in the Motomiya residence could be cut with a knife. Having needed a few minutes to steel himself for the inevitable heart-to-heart that is to come, Dai fled to the kitchen in order to make himself and his ex-boyfriend drinks. Note that this extra thinking-time was actually doing the burgundy haired teen more harm than good. He's dreading every possible topic of conversation that can, and no doubt **will **be brought up. All the fear and anxiety going through his head was however interspersed with several death wishes aimed towards the tall Kamiya male who had caused Archie's appearance.

The other teen currently in the apartment appeared to be totally calm and collected. Archie knows the issues that needed to be discussed and dealt with and he's curious as to how Dai's fragile nerves will cope with the light being shone on his less-than-glorious past. The slightly taller teen sits patiently in the living-room, mentally, but perhaps not emotionally prepared for what is to follow. The leather jacket has been discarded so the brunette currently sports a pair of light blue jeans and an even lighter blue t-shirt, highlighting his hard-earned muscles. Archie's tan also indicates to others his active, sport-fueled lifestyle. Any other time and Dai would be melting at the sheer sight of the perfectly crafted male, but he had bigger problems at present.

Dai finally finishes making the cups of coffee and returns to his guest, nerves laying dormant for now.

"One sugar and milk, right?" He asks, laying the caffeinated drink on the table between their seats. The question, innocent as it is causes Archie to smile sweetly at the slightly shorter male.

"You remembered."

That smile would have disarmed Daisuke any day of the week once upon a time, yet he knows that he can now see an even more beautiful smile...from Takeru. Dai is slightly saddened upon the thought, as he realizes just how much he misses his best friend, and wishes dearly that it was Takeru currently sitting in his apartment instead of Archie, Friday's events forgotten.

"Ok, talk. Why are you here Archie?" There's the kick-off...

Having sipped his coffee briefly, Archie replaces the cup on the table and establishes eye contact with his former love.

"Well, Taichi and Hikari told me what had happened between you and this Takeru guy on Friday night and that the pair of you haven't spoken since."

Visibly uncomfortable, Dai slightly shifts in his seat. "Yeah, and?" Wrong move, Dai.

"And what the hell is the matter with you, Dai?" Taken aback by Archie's outburst, Daisuke is too stunned to catch on to the other teen's train of thought.

"I beg your pardon?"

Archie sighs in despair. "If he was able to recollect what happened Friday night then he wasn't so drunk that he didn't make the conscious decision to take part in your 'activities'."

Archie notices Dai staring blankly at him, total confusion in his eyes. He clearly wasn't getting the point that was trying to be made. Dai receives a stare of disbelief in return.

"Really? Can't see where I'm going?" In a previous chapter of his life, the clueless expression worn so well by Daisuke would have been found adorable by Archie, but there was far too much riding on this talk for him to get distracted.

"What I'm trying to say to you is that if your exchange was something that Takeru really didn't want to do then it never would have happened."

Satisfied in his argument and crossing his arms, Archie leaves Daisuke to reflect upon the statement presented to him. His mind flashes back to that eventful Friday and is able to recall that it was in fact Takeru who made the first move with his kiss, unwittingly initiating the more sexual events which followed. Focusing harder on the more fine details of the night, the younger of the two males would be lying if he said that Takeru appeared to be unaware of his actions and movements. Actually, the blond seemed to be well within his own self-control. _'There's no way...?' _Dai thinks, staring in shock at Archie.

"Wait, wait, wait! You think he likes me back?" Archie groans in exasperation, face-palming at the other brunette's slowness.

"God Dai, it's a good thing you're cute...Of course he likes you!" Dai starts to feel awkward and looks away nervously, which does not go unnoticed by Archie. "So I guess my next question is: Why on Earth are you sitting around in your apartment moping, when you could be out with him, creating what would be a beautiful relationship?"

As if out of nowhere, Dai snaps at Archie and quickly allows his temper to take control;

"You know damn well why that won't be happening, Archie!" Now it's Archie's turn to stare in bewilderment, totally taken aback by the sudden rage shown by his ex-boyfriend.

"Erm, no, I actually don't. Taichi also seemed to blame me for all of this, but I can't understand what it is that's causing you to hold yourself back." Daisuke starts to feel rather awkward, coming down from his heightened temper and the sweating begins in correspondence to this. _'Crap, I can't do this...It's hard enough just trying to keep myse__lf from breaking down. New plan!__ When in doubt...deny, deny, deny!'_

"Nothing...It doesn't matter." Suddenly, recognizing the despair in Dai's voice, Archie gave up on the topic, left and allowed the other teen to handle things in his own time...Yeah right.

"Don't you pull that shit on me, Dai! Never before have I known you to be afraid of chasing after the things that you want. This isn't normal, and I can't leave until it's been sorted!"

_'Fuck. Stubborn, righteous, gorgeous little...' _Whilst continuing his silent string of insults, the soccer player collapses onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Feeling sadness and sympathy towards the other male, Archie moves from his seat to position himself next to Dai, laying a hand on top of his, reassuring the boy that he really does care about him. After a moment of hesitation, Archie once more initiates conversation;

"Look Dai, I know this probably isn't the best time, but I want you to know that I have never stopped loving you. More than two years down the line and I still miss you so much!" At this comment, Dai starts seeing red and snatches his hand harshly away from Archie whilst raising from his seat and glaring down at the older male.

"Yeah? Well you sure do have a funny way of showing it!" Once more, Archie is taken aback and is forced to re-calculate his strategy in order to avoid fraying Dai's nerves any further.

"Woah, woah, woah! What are you on about?" The panic in Dai's eyes is obvious, the boy having hesitations about the conversation sure to follow, but is in far too deep to stop now. _'The hell with it…Open the floodgates.' _Thinks Dai.

"I'm on about you, Archie! I'm afraid, alone and holding back because of you!"

The accused teen sits silent, confusion peaked and staring at Daisuke. Archie would have spoken up, yet Dai's raised hand informed him against that course of action. Wiping a few solitary tears from his eyes, the soccer player gathered up his strength for the second time of the week in order to fight through the pain once more.

"Archie, when you moved away from Tokyo, that hurt like hell, yeah. Do you know what hurt more than anything else though? What it was that did the most damage? You never even…" _'Come on Dai, you have to face your d__emons__!' _"…You left without even saying goodbye to me!"

Dai feels himself becoming overwhelmed with grief, all the pent up sorrow and rage of the past 2 years finally being unloaded upon its source. He knows that if he can just push past this then the pain might finally dissipate!

"I loved you more than anything in the world, and I didn't get so much as a single word of farewell. I was absolutely crushed, Archie. I couldn't even call you to hear your voice one last time, since you left your phone behind or changed numbers or whatever!" Dai paused mid speech, the memories of his broken heart causing his fists to unconsciously clench due to the emotional turmoil. "I laid awake at nights, wondering at what point you stopped caring enough to just cut off all contact!"

Suddenly Dai's total expression softened as he sighed, a different set of thoughts overtaking.

"But then again, I can't totally blame you can I? I had ruined your life, after all…" Unlike several other moments of this eventful afternoon, it was Archie's turn to suddenly jump up from his place and allow his rage to take control.

"Excuse me? THAT'S why you've locked yourself out of love and become this depressed shadow of yourself? You thought that I, of **all** people, hated you!"

"What else was I supposed to think, Archie?" All strength having been exhausted previously, Daisuke finally succumbs to his emotions and allows the tears to flow in full force once more. Archie, feeling rather guilty over provoking Dai's breakdown, sits down with him, holding him against his shoulder, allowing his other hand to stroke the burgundy locks atop Dai's head.

Although finding the comfort of Archie's embrace tempting, Daisuke can't help but to resist, knowing that he'd rather be elsewhere, being held by a different companion. _'Takeru…I miss you. I wish I had the courage to at least talk to you, then it could be your arms around me. I…I love you. It feels weird saying it, especially given how short a time we've been friends and with all that's happened the past we__ek but there's no confusing these__ feeling__s__: It's love.' _The realization should cheer the teen up, but as long as he still has the past looming over him, Dai knows he'll never be granted happiness.

Sighing quietly - like multiple other times in the last hour -, Archie sat Daisuke up straight and pressed on with the heart-to-heart;

"I never, repeat, **never** hated you, you sweet idiot." The statement is accompanied by a smile as gentle and sincere as the words spoken. Having the other male's full attention, Archie continued, "Admittedly, most aspects of my life had become hellish and unbearable back then, what with all the abuse and everything. You were the one shining light in my life. You gave me hope, but in the end I just wasn't as strong as you were." The older male takes a moment to wipe away a few of his own tears, the weight of the pair's past beginning to affect him too.

"Believe me when I tell you that leaving was the hardest thing that I've ever done and that not saying goodbye to you left my heart aching for so long!" The high emotions continue to further deteriorate both boys strength, yet Archie pushes through his confession nonetheless;

"Just trust that I am so sorry for what I did, and it kills me that it's affected you like that. It's just…If I had to tell you face to face that I was going to leave, you would have gotten upset, pleaded with me to stay and I knew that I would eventually crumble. I **had **to get out of Tokyo, to get a fresh start but…I just wish I could have taken you with me."

Archie's heartfelt confession/apology only provoked further tears from Daisuke, but of a different sentiment this time. All of the younger boy's anger has been completely erased, its place taken by a mixture of sorrow, relief and at this point, even a twinge of confusion.

"Why didn't you hate me? I made your life the hell it was." _'He's…sorry? I caused an inhumane amount of pain and sorrow in his life, scarred him emotionally and he still loves me? I never deserved someone as good as him, or someone as good as Takeru either. __Both of them are __seriously unique guys__!'_ Dai simply couldn't figure his ex-boyfriend out. Once again feeling sympathy for the boy, and being both amused yet saddened at the burdens bore by him, Archie wiped the newly developing tears from Daisuke's eyes, smiling sweetly at him throughout the action.

"Dai…I was incomplete until I had you! You made me impossibly happy, and I cared…scratch that, I still care about you more than I thought I was ever capable of. It was the bigotry of all the other morons in Tokyo High which destroyed me. If you hadn't have caught me with the razor, in the bathroom than I would have…You saved me, Daisuke Motomiya and I am eternally thankful for ever having you. Looking back, despite all the crap we went through, I regret nothing about it." Once again, Archie lays his hands atop Dai's, allowing the sincerity and emotion of his words flow through the pair, healing the scars of the past.

"Given a second chance, I would go through everything again if it meant being with you. It was my choice throughout, and **nothing** was your fault."

Hearing the words of his former love and understanding their intent, as well as the emotion behind them, Daisuke suddenly experiences a feeling of utter peace, as the weight of the boy's stormy past is finally lifted from his shoulders, having been there undeservingly for far too long. Seeing that Archie has clearly pieced his life back together, Dai has no further reason to blame himself, and given what was said about his choices in the relationship, the soccer player can finally start the next chapter in his life…

'_Takeru…'_

The smile now worn by Daisuke, as well as the obvious cheery attitude were the only 'thanks' desired by Archie. Feeling slightly awkward in the new silence, Dai assumes that the floor is now his;

"Wow Archie…So erm, how have you been?" _'Smooth, Dai.' _Archie chuckles enthusiastically at how bashful the other boy has become. He's reminded of the childlike innocence and accessibility that originally attracted him to the soccer player.

"You never change Dai, and I'm grateful for that. Yeah, I've actually been doing great at my new school. Mum and dad chose carefully so that the place had next to no bigots. I can be openly gay at school now, with no worries over a repeat of Tokyo!" If his earlier confession wasn't proof enough, then Daisuke was definitely convinced by now that Archie was genuinely happy and didn't blame him for all that had transpired.

"It really is good to see you again Archie, despite all that's happened, both past and present. Wow, I never thought I'd be admitting that!"

All tears having dried up, the two boys sit, side by side, relieved that all the pain and sorrow of the past has been forgiven. With their past having been laid to rest, all that's left to be assessed is the future...

"You too, man. You know what you need to do now, right?"

A sigh of resignation escapes Daisuke's mouth. He knew this moment was rapidly approaching, yet by now the burgundy hair teen feels ready to begin the next chapter of his life. For once it seems that he might finally be able to have the thing he wants more than anything.

"Yeah…I need to talk to Takeru for a start."

"Right! It makes me happy to know that you're finally opening yourself up again! I think you two will be really happy, even happier than we were."

Thinking about what could be, Daisuke can't help but picture his crush's beautiful cerulean eyes, shining magically, perfectly complementing the blond's sweet smile. "Yeah, I think so too."

All these thoughts make Dai smile himself, excited for the future that he could have.

"Well then, I guess my job is done!" Archie grabs his jacket and stands up, with Dai thinking that he's about to leave, so is left perplexed when the other boy heads for the kitchen instead. Within a few moments, Archie returns with pen and paper, jotting something down on the sheet and then handing it to Daisuke.

"Here you go, Dai. I promise to answer this time." Looking down at the paper, Daisuke notices that Archie had written down a cell phone number. The gesture elevates the teen's mood even further, allowing him to laugh about their sordid past for the first time. Dai then proceeds to open the front door to his apartment, allowing his guest to depart. When in the hallway, Archie turns to leave but something deep inside stops him, his conscience shouting that there's still one last thing he can do for his friend. Archie looks from side to side, checking that there's no one else in the hallway, watching. Once confident that the coast is clear, the taller male returns his attention to Dai, and speaks;

"Dai...would it be alright for me to...to give you one, final kiss, as the goodbye that you should have gotten the day I left?"

The idea tempts Daisuke as he battles internally on whether or not it would be a good idea. _'I love Takeru, and I know that I want__ to be with him...but this could finally give me the closure that I've been searching for for two years! If I can kiss Archie, and not feel any romantic urges, then I'll know that Takeru is the one for me.'_ Mind made up, Daisuke addresses his old flame;

"I guess that would be ok, yeah."

Heart beating frantically in his chest, Archie leans in and joins his lips to those of Daisuke's, one final time. The kiss, in Archie's eyes, is one of passion, all his true emotion and feelings conveyed through the contact. The action serves as Archie's final apology, attempting to make all he did right again. For Daisuke however, the kiss is an act of reassurance and confirmation. The kiss – like all others with Archie – feels sweet and good, but only physically. Feeling nothing romantically for the boy in front of him, Daisuke is on cloud nine, celebrating internally! Not only is there no romance, but Dai doesn't even feel any lingering pain from the past. Everything is perfect.

The kiss lasted for several moments until a loud noise suddenly startled both boys, separating them instantly and causing them to whip their heads towards the elevator at the end of the hall. The shattered glass vase lies in ruins on the hard hall floor, along with the flowers it once held. The blond owner of the flowers stands frozen, eyes wide, mouth open and his heart in a similar condition to the vase. All he can do is stare at the sight in front of him, totally devastated.

"Takeru..." Daisuke utters the name to himself so quietly that not even Archie hears it. Seeing the exchange of looks between the pair however, he quickly puts two and two together and realizes just who this blond is.

Daisuke takes one slow step towards the grief stricken teen, with Takeru taking two, quick ones backwards in return. The blond finally decides the scene to be too much for him and whilst shaking his head furiously, turns sharply to dash back into the elevator, tears streaming down his face.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

_'Why am I so nervous? This is Daisuke we'__re on about here. Matt's right: whether or not he feels the same way, Dai won't turn on me just for being in love with him! Still, could things __**really**__ just go back to normal? It would still be awkward, despite how hard we tried.' _The panic in me hasn't subsided for the entire journey, yet I know that this is what I have to do!

Walking past the shops on my way to the tanned teen's home, I suddenly felt rather vulnerable and unprepared for the confrontation to come. _'Should I maybe take something? Call ahead? __God I have no idea...' _Passing past a florists and eying the shop contents through the window, I decide that maybe a simple gesture like flowers might make the ordeal a tad smoother.

Now shopping isn't my specialty on a good day, but I was definitely disoriented today, browsing through the countless varieties of plants on offer. I finally decide that a small bouquet of roses will suffice. _'Beautiful, simple, yet filled with emotion...just like Dai.' _ I thought. For a small additional charge, the owner even gave me a small, clear glass vase to keep the gift in. Feeling slightly more confident, I quickened my pace towards Dai's apartment, determined to not chicken out!

xXxXxXxXx

The elevator ride up to Dai's floor seemed to take an eternity, my pulse racing the entire time. _'Am I making a mistake? Will he like me back? Am I just going to make a fool of myself?' _All three of my questions were answered after having only taken a few steps out of the elevator. Looking up from the bouquet in my hand, I can see Dai kissing someone as clear as day!

A sharp sting of pain hits me as I catch the sight. _'No way…I c-can't believe it! He already has someone and he still fooled around with me? Either that or he's already over what we did?' _ Feeling drained of any prior enthusiasm or optimism, for the first few seconds I couldn't help but stop and stare, heart totally broken. _'How could I be such an idiot? He could never love me back, I shouldn'__t have raised my hopes!'_

Having become so numb from the pain, I never initially noticed my grip on the vase loosen. Apparently it did however, since Dai and his companion broke apart, hearing the sound of smashed glass. _'Why couldn't I have never had these feelings? If I'd left Dai alone in the first place, I would never have become friends with him and fallen in love!'_

My burgundy haired best friend takes a step closer to me. I don't even hesitate in recoiling from him, as this isn't something I can deal with. For another moment I stand motionless, shaking my head at my own stupidity. With my heart ripped out of my chest and having been sufficiently embarrassed, the only action I have any energy left for is turning around and getting the hell out of there! As I hit the button in the elevator and the doors close, I no longer fight to keep my tears at bay. Everything may have been ruined, but I'd damned if Dai was gonna see me breakdown in the middle of the hall.

Without so much as a word to Matt or dad, I lock myself in my bedroom the minute I get home. Burying my face in my pillow, I allow the flow of tears to continue, hoping I would wake up tomorrow to realize everything was just a dream.

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC_

_A/N: _

_Hehe, sorry if that last bit was too evil :P It was probably predictable anyway!_

_Hopefully that was a nice chapter for you __ Hope it wasn't too similar to the last one, which I'm afraid of :S The next chapter won't be though! We're getting pretty close to the end of Holding Back actually :o__, so after that I'll work on my Tatio I think :D_

_R&R please, as per usual! Hope you enjoyed!_


	8. Wish You Were Here

_**Holding Back **_by _**Daikeru Insanity**_

_Here comes Chapter 7(8)!_

_Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!_

_I'm seriously unhappy with myself for putting you all through this really long wait for this chapter compared to my others, it's just that this is the chapter I didn't really want to do cause I think it sucks and it lame and nothing really happens...But we'll see :S I've also still had other crap to do and everyone seems to need me lately -.- Hopefully next chapter will be written quicker! I still don't know why any of you enjoy my story!_

_Reviewers!_

_**JyouraSorato: **__Thanks :D_

_**TKViedarts: **__I know, I'm enjoying writing the whole story but I figure it has to end sometime :S Glad you liked my chapter as usual and I always enjoy seeing your reviews!_

_**Lgaz123: **__Your review made me __chuckle with your reaction xD Really happy that you love this story even though I don't find it to be that great :P Hope you'll read my next fics after this too :D_

_**Takato the Dreamer: **__You're just mean to others, aren't you? :P Yeah I know it was predictabl__e but glad you enjoyed it nonetheless :)_

_**DigitalFlagDancer: **__Hello new reviewer :D Thanks for all your kind words, but I'd expect more from the next chapter as opposed to this one, but it's all gonna be pretty predictable which will probably suck but we'll __see!_

_**KeruKeru: **__Hehe, prolonging your pain for my own enjoyment :) I actually get your Friends reference this time, can picture it in my head :P Hope you're enjoying the story!_

_**Guest: **__Get an account or sign in so I can thank you properly :D Your review rea__lly made me smile but I wouldn't say it's the BEST *blushes*!_

_Disclaimer: No, still don't own Digimon or any of it's characters/features, I just borrow them for my own yaoi fantasies..._

_On with Holding Back, while it lasts...!_

_Chapter 7_

'_Wish You Were Here'_

_(Takeru's POV)_

"Oh come on, kiss me again, you know you want to!" The tanned teen leans in towards the adjacent male, who hesitates for a moment.

"Yeah but, what about him, Dai?" _'Oh crap, they're both looking at me now...'_

"Oh, he's nobody. We had a bit of fun, but that's all it was! Now why don't we go inside...and have some fun of our own?"

Daisuke links hands with the taller male as he proceeds to pull him into his apartment, eyes filled with lust. The door starts to slowly shut, leaving me to be isolated, emotions flowing like crazy.

"No! Dai, please come back! I lo-"

xXxXxXxXx

I find myself in a cold sweat, breathing uneven, pulse racing and sheets entangled in my arms. I wipe away a loose tear and then fully grasp the fact that I'm not at Dai's, I'm in my bed at home.

'_Thank god, it was just a dream! Scratch that actually...a __nightmare. It may have only been a nightmare, but it__ did happen in a sense.' _Looking at my bedside clock, I see that it's the next day now and that my restless night is finally over. I had woken up several times throughout the night, each time because of the same dream, the betrayal new and more powerful each time, but there nonetheless.

Groaning in exasperation, I drop my head into my hands, wishing that everything could just be normal once again. Unfortunately I'm a teenager, and thus my life is destined to be saturated with misery and angst...

*Ring* *Ring*

I'm pulled out of my depressing thoughts by the shrill sound of my cell phone, which I notice was left discarded on the floor along with my jeans. I don't even have to get up to see the picture of the burgundy haired soccer player appear on the screen, for about the 8th time in the past sixteen hours. Not in anyway inclined to treat this particular call any differently, I ignore the ringing until an awkward silence fills my bedroom once more. _'I'm having awkward silences with myself...This is not good.'_

'_I'm not interested in whatever he has to say anyway, since whatever he could tell me would just break my heart.' _My emotions have been completely frayed the past night, with a crippling mixture of rage and sorrow felt towards Daisuke. _'I even know deep down that I could probably sort all this crap out by just talking to him. But that's deep down. On the surface, I choke. Everything just becomes so real when I talk to him! Anyway, he's made i__t pretty clear that he's not interested in me anyway so what's the point? I'm obviously just some horrible, drunken mistake to him.' _

I try to get back to wallowing in my own self-pity but my ever wise brother knocks on the open bedroom door.

"Takeru...? You awake, yeah? I saw you get home yesterday but I didn't want to bother you then cause you seemed pretty upset. I'll go and assume that things didn't go well at Daisuke's yesterday, did they?"

'_Oh you don't say? How could he ask such a stupid question? But still, he's your brother so just remain calm...'_

"Oh no Matt, everything's perfect! He told me that he loves me and wants nothing more than to be my boyfriend! In fact I'm getting ready for our first date as we speak!"

'_Ok fine, I snapped.' _The comment seems to make Matt wince slightly. Probably half from my volatile reaction and half from the knowledge that **he **was the one that pushed me into going over there and essentially piloted my self-esteem tailspin...I'm quite edgy just now, which might be obvious but the events of the past week are starting to really stack up, causing a serious head and heart ache.

"Ok I get it, that was a stupid question, sorry... wanna tell me what happened over there?"

Matt moves over to the bed and sits down next to where I've propped myself into an upright position. He then throws one of his arms round my side and pulls me into his embrace, my head resting on his shoulder.

"Well...once you had convinced me to go out and confront him – thanks by the way – I stopped off at the florists and picked up a small bouquet for him. That's not important though. Anyway, I was steeling myself for the conversation to follow, but when I got out of the elevator I saw..." I clench my fists at the memory but Matt soothingly rubs my arm and I soon relax and continue; "...I saw Dai kissing this random dude in the hall! I dropped the bouquet in shock and then just got the hell out of there! You should have seen it Matt, it killed me to watch him make out with this guy so soon after what happened between us. "

At that point, any emotion I had been holding back decided that captivity wasn't suitable and all the pent up sorrow mercilessly ran out of me, taking the form of an onslaught of tears. I threw myself fully into my brother's arms, with mine closing around his waist, as if he could make all the problems in the world suddenly vanish.

I couldn't help but notice my brother glaring absently through the window opposite him, his mind probably fixated on Daisuke and how I've become so depressed. _'No one, and I mean absolutely __**no one**__ hurt__s my little brother and gets away with it...I'll get to the bottom of this.' _With myself semi-oblivious, my brother continues to stir his anger as he holds me gently. A couple of minutes pass as I calm myself down, getting my tears under control. Eventually, Matt holds me at arms length and establishes eye contact;

"Look Takeru, I'm really sorry that I pushed you into that. I should have just let you deal with it in your own time, in your own way. It's my fault that you had to see that." _'That baka...always bea__ring the world's problems on his shoulders. He doesn't even realize how much he helps me.__ Granted I did kinda blame him but I was just pissed off...__'_

"N-no, Matt. I wasn't seriously blaming you. You're a great brother! I wasn't getting anywhere by sitting around moping...At least now I know that there's nothing there, I guess." The drop of my face and tone was enough to break my brother's heart. He hates more than anything to see me upset, and he'd do absolutely anything for me.

"Ok look, I know this sucks right now and that you'd rather do nothing more than forget about him but this isn't over just yet! Now I gotta go take care of something right now but you stay here and lie down, maybe listen to some music and just try and get into a happy place." Before disappearing out the bedroom door, Matt kisses me on my forehead and gives me a final, reassuring smile.

'_Happy place? Ok, how do I go from 'Burning Orphanage' to 'Puppy-Infested-Rainbow-Field' before Matt gets back...? _

xXxXxXxXx

_(Yamato's POV)_

'_Grr__! Pick up, pick up, pick up!' _I'm currently pacing back and forth in the family kitchen, visibly impatient. Before I can move on to making death threats into my cell phone, I finally hear the sound of my call being accepted and the consistently cheery voice greets;

"Hello, Kamiya residence! How may I enhance your morning?"

Normally I would be calmed down in an instead upon hearing that angelic, fun voice. Today however, I am beyond calming. Given the calm and normal response I give, this fact is hard to accept;

"Damn it! What the hell have you done, Tai?" _'Alright__, I lied. Sue me.'_

"Huh? Yama? Calm down man, what are you talking about?" My boyfriend's confusion is apparent in his tone, but then again, what's new? I'd have to give him a few moments to catch up...

"Have you spoken to Daisuke lately?" _'Still angry, Yamato...'_

"Erm, not since Saturday really. I've been trying to call him since last night actually but he won't answer his phone...What happened, Yama?"

'_Oh boy, the many colourful ways I could answer THAT question...'_

"Allow me to fill you in. I'll try and keep it concise to accommodate for your attention span." I couldn't help but smirk to myself, that ought to provoke a reac-

"Sorry, what?" _'Bastard. I can practically hear him grinning into the phone...' _

"Mess with the bull, you get the horns! Now get on with it, this sounds serious!" _'__**Tai **__trying to get __**me **__on task? I'll be damned...pigs apparently do fly.'_

"Right. Well, Takeru went over to Daisuke's yesterday to confess his feelings for him, as I had suggested...rather erroneously it would seem. He built himself up for it and everything. He even bought flowers, and what does he find when he reaches Daisuke's apartment? He was making out with some other guy!" Silence over the phone connection as I regain composure and attempt to collect my thoughts. Tai is obviously thrown by this new knowledge too, but he's not getting any mercy yet. "Tai, you told me that Daisuke was crazy about Takeru! I sent him over there after **you **assured me that it would all be fine!"

Apparently these accusations were enough to finally snap Tai out of his silent suspension;

"He does! Dai has it bad for Takeru, seriously! I'm pretty sure he's all that Dai can think about. But...making out? Who would he even be...oh no."

'_I swear to god, I might actually strangle him this time.'_

"'_Oh no' _what? Don't you _'oh no' _me, Kamiya! Spit it out, right now!"

I could hear Tai stammering and hesitating on the other end but I'll give him a minute. Even **he** knows that not answering me right now is a certified death wish. Finally he manages to speak clearly and calmly;

"I think I know who Dai was kissing."

'_Se__riously Tai, if soccer doesn't work out, become the host of one of these talent shows. You don't half build suspense...'_

"I'm waiting..." _'I can just imagine him saying something like "Find out after this short break!"...I would have to break up with him.__'_

"It was most likely his ex-boyfriend, Archie." _'The fuck..?' _"Last week, 'Kari and I found out that a load of stuff happened between them before Dai moved here, and it's been constantly haunting him. That was what was stopping him for going after Takeru, much as he desperately wanted to. Hehe, this is where things get a bit awkward for me..."

My voice is deathly calm and cold as I respond; "Tai...I'm going to repeat my very first question, one last time. **What the hell have you done?"**

"Erm, I might have contacted Archie and had him...come to Odaiba. It's also possible that he might have arrived...Round about the time that Takeru went over to see him?" I remain silent for what – to Tai – must seem like an eternity. Calm before the storm doesn't even describe it...I can't help but literally facepalm at my boyfriend's stupidity before releasing my unholy rage upon him.

"Tai, you idiot! Takeru is absolutely heart-broken! I cannot believe...Are those two going to get back together?"

"No!" Tai responds immediately and loudly. "I don't think so anyway...Look, all that Archie was meant to do was go over and give Dai some closure about their relationship so that he could stop beating himself up over it and move on. This was meant to lead Dai right to Takeru!"

"How'd that work out for us...?" Sighing at my dark comment, I settle on a choice of course, desperate to help fix the proverbial train wreck which is my brother's love life. "Right. Well with some luck, I'll hopefully be able to convince Takeru to go over and speak to Daisuke...again." _'It's not like the second trip could go any __**worse**__...Actually, scratch that thought cause Lady Luck hasn't exactly been doing us any favours.' _

"If it can be helped, I would rather that Takeru hear the truth about everything from Daisuke, rather than us."

Tai makes a few low noises in the phone as I speak, which I take as his acknowledgement and agreement concerning my thoughts. "Alright then, make sure to keep me updated, and good luck. I love you, Yama."

'_That guy...I scream bloody murder at him and not only does he just sit there and take it, but then he's all sweet and lovey-dovey to me. I don't deserve someone so amazing...I'm not gonna complain, however.'_

"Will do, Tai. I love you too." We both hang up and I'm left to figure out how to approach Takeru about going back to Daisuke's place._ 'Humour is always a favourite. But this is no joke,__ so maybe I should just tackle__ it directly. He'll think I'm crazy but he's just gonna need to get over it. God, what a mess...__When did my little brother suddenly turn his life into a soap opera plot? L__et's just hope it can all be sorted out before it__'s too late.'_

I make my way back upstairs and head into my little brother's room.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

'_Ok...it's been about 10 minutes now, where's Matt gone...Oh that must be him now. I can hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. Ok Takeru, happy place!'_

Matt opens my bedroom door and slowly, almost carefully enters, not looking at all cheery, which doesn't fill me with enthusiasm about the conversation which I just **know** is to come...

"You feeling any better, little bro'?" He sits back on the bed next to where I lie as he speaks, concern filling his deep blue eyes, practically identical to my own.

"A bit, I guess. I feel a bit more emotionally stable now, on the bright side." I manage a weak smile as I respond, which for some reason only makes Matt's face drop. He sighs, and then looks right at me, before stating;

"Good, cause you'll need to be. You need to go back to Daisuke's..."

Matt's face twitches a bit as he unsuccessfully tries to hide his tensing. I shoot into an upright position in bed at his little suggestion, not entirely convinced that I heard him correctly. _'Go back there? The hell I am! Let's remember what happened last time, shall we?'_

I'm unsure whether he's serious or trying to be funny. Either way, I am not amused. I find myself beginning to get rather angry at my brother, as if he **wants **my heart to be broken again!

"WHAT? Are you out of your freaking mind?" '_Ok, I appreciate that my tone and vocabulary were rather vulgar there, and Matt's expression clearly shows __that my outburst isn't sitting well with him. God bless him though, I think he's gonna let it go for the mean time.' _

Once more my brother takes a deep sigh, as he clearly has some explaining to do. _'Of all the idiotic ideas...'_

"Alright, look. I appreciate that things weren't all 'sunshine and lollipops' the last time I sent you over there, but you really need to see the bigger picture, Takeru!"

A future job prospect for Matt in amateur theatrics aside, I quizzically raise an eyebrow at the response, whilst also folding my arms across my chest, forming the most sceptical look I can muster. "Oh do tell."

After receiving a rather surly roll of the eyes, Matt proceeds;

"Well you two are best friends, or at least you're **supposed** to be! Sure, we're on holiday from school just now, so you can ignore him all you like but soon we'll be back and you're gonna be forced to see him every day. I know that you want to know who this mystery kisser was and what he means to Daisuke, right? Then go over there, get the answers out of him and mend this damn rift while you still can!"

One of the things that makes Matt a rather amazing, yet annoying brother is that he has such an incredible way with words, that I can never argue with him on the most serious of matters in life, like this. He manages to mix in the perfect combination of guilt, drama and irritation into his speeches in order to set me straight. Accepting defeat, I take my turn to sigh at the god-forsaken situation I've landed myself in.

"You're right, Matt. I wish more than anything else that you weren't, but you are. You always are. I need to thank you, for everything. You constantly put up with my moaning and help me deal with any crap that comes my way. I don't know what I'd do without you. Guess I'll go talk to the jerk, then." I attempt to get myself out of bed, as I'm still to get properly dressed but Matt lays a hand on my shoulder and gently pushes me back down into a lying position.

"Tomorrow. Just rest for now, you'll need your strength, emotionally that is." My weak smile manages to transform into a grin in order to match the one now worn by my brother. He gets up to leave for the second time today and at the doorway, turns back to me;

"I'm proud of you little bro' but be warned...if you ever snap at me like that again, I'll knock you on your ass!" The idle threat is accompanied by a wink and I simply stick my tongue out in response as Matt heads back downstairs.

xXxXxXxXx

After having my first good night's sleep in about a week, it's Friday morning now and I'm currently walking through the streets of Odaiba. I'm making the journey to Daisuke's apartment building...**again** and I can't believe I'm doing this considering how things ended last time.

'_Still, you know Matt's right, Takeru...unfortunately. I'll just face up to this like a man, instead of crying at home like a baby! Oh crap, I forgot how quickly I would get here, what the hell am I gonna say without sounding pathetic?'_

By this point, any confidence I had managed to build up before arriving in the soccer player's apartment building was well and truly squashed. Being totally unprepared for the confrontation to follow and practically on auto-pilot, I push the elevator button to take me to Dai's floor. Millions of scenarios were playing through my head, none with a happy ending. Before I know it, I arrive at the front door to the apartment of shattered hopes..._'Well, here goes nothing...__Please let this go smoothly!'_

Heart pounding and sweat starting, I knock clearly three times on the apartment door, and wait...

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

I feel much groggier than usual upon waking up, but then again I wasn't in the most comfortable position in the world. After yawning and making sure I can actually open my eyes, I gaze out of the adjacent window.

The surroundings are simply beautiful. Mother nature presents a masterpiece of forestry in every direction. Colours are vibrant, in several shades of green, brown, yellow and the blue of the crystal clear sky. Young animals can be seen frolicking amongst the shrubbery, showing not a care of the world. However, despite the intense peace and wonder of the simple scene presented, none of it manages to make me feel any better about my situation.

Truth be told, the whole thing makes me feel worse. Call me pathetic, lovesick or whatever...but all this beauty just forces me to think about Takeru even more. _'He'd love it here...' _I can't help but think. In such a short time I've fallen for him so hard, and now to avoid hurting him even further I'm going to have to ignore and hide these feelings. _'Ugh, even though everything's all awkward now and he probably hates me, I just want more than anything to see him right now...'_

"You do realize that you owe me an explanation later, right?" _'Huh? What the...oh.'_

I'm startled by the sudden noise and only when I jerk my head to the right do I realize that my sister is still right next to me, eyes and body focused on the road ahead, while her mind works on a completely different project.

Not at all comprehending what she means, I must be shooting her a blank, puzzled look because she sighs to herself and continues;

"Oh, come on Dai! I'm not an idiot, you know. You hate when we get forced to go to our grandparent's house each year. So when you suddenly beg me to drive you there for Easter break all of a sudden, of course I'm going to be suspicious!"

'_Shit. She has a good point actually, but of course I'm still gonna deny everything! This is not a conversation I want to have.'_

"Please! That doesn't mean anything..." Instead of a sigh, I've been upgraded to a scoff as Jun clearly isn't buying it.

"Oh yeah? Well then how about this: At home, if you're not eating, sleeping or playing soccer, you'll have either your cell phone or laptop screen glued to your face. Why then, would you leave **both** of them under your bed, essentially isolating yourself from any external contact for a week?"

'_Great...I'm screwed. Ignoring her obvious snooping, I have no logical explanation now, because I know she's right.'_

I open my mouth to try and concoct some bullshit excuse to deter her from further interrogating me, but Jun raises a hand to inform me that she isn't done yet (to be honest, 'I forgot' is probably the best reason I could come up with right now anyway...).

"I didn't pester you about it at the time because you seemed really desperate to get away, and I'm playing along since I'm your sister. I don't want to annoy you, I just want you to be able to talk to me, cause I am here for you, Dai."

Jun's words actually really sink in, to my surprise, and I begin to realize that no matter what stupid things we fight about or say to one another, she'll always protect me when needed and that she would never judge me. I give Jun a warm smile upon finding this strong, new appreciation for her. _'Maybe I could talk to her about all this, after all!'_

"But when we get to the cottage, you **will**be telling me everything!"

"Deal."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

"Damn it! Answer Dai, please!" As is probably obvious, I'm back home now, having not found Daisuke in his apartment. I've been trying to call him for the past ten minutes and my temper is worsening with each additional minute.

'_Damn it Motomiya, how more mad could you possibly want to make me? You break my heart, then you call me non-stop afterwards when I want nothing more to do with you and when I finally do decide to talk, you're not even home! You could at least have the decency to pick up the damn phone and let me scream my head off at you...'_

I quickly realize that my efforts are in vain and flop down on my bed in exasperation, carelessly tossing my phone in the process. As if practiced, Matt then appears in the doorway to my bedroom once more. _'He must pick up my __hopelessness on radar or something...'_

Studying my aggravated look for a moment, Matt then proceeds to speak;

"You don't exactly bear the expression of a man with recently resolved issues..." I simply raise my head slightly from the bed to stare at my brother, his observation clearly more a question than a statement.

"Ugh...Dai isn't answering his phone, it keeps putting me through to the machine and this isn't really a conversation to have over voicemail. I'm only calling because there was no one at the apartment and one of his neighbours said they saw him and Jun heading away on a trip. Suitcases and everything. So yeah, I'm a bit panicky and annoyed right now." _'A lot annoyed, but never mind.'_

It doesn't take a behavioural analyst to see that Matt is pretty pissed off right now.

'_Having a nice holiday, Daisuke? How the hell can you just run away from all these problems, given everything else you've already put Takeru through! I mean, I know he was trying to run away from the problem too...but not __**literally! **__Great, now he's made me do the one thing I was hoping could be avoided.__When I get my hands on him...'_

I was once again oblivious to the thoughts circulating my brother's mind but they probably weren't particularly flattering towards Dai...I do however notice Matt sigh and bury his face in his hands for a moment, donning a rather defeated expression.

"Come with me, Takeru. You have to hear the truth, one way or another."

That's all that's said before Matt heads out of the room, leaving me to follow him downstairs, which I do rather quickly, anxious to find out what 'truth' he is referring to. As we descend and finally reach the living room, I notice very quickly that Tai is sitting on the couch, which only serves to confuse the crap out of me...

'_What has Tai got to do with any of this?' _Matt takes a seat next to his boyfriend while I sit on the armchair across from them. The two exchange brief glances and then look back at me.

"Alright Matt, what's going on?"

"The thing is, we're pretty sure we know who Daisuke was kissing." It took me a few seconds to realize the significance of the fact that this conversation had just started with Tai in the room and I swear I turned pale in an instant...well, paler. The look of horror that has stricken my face does not go unnoticed by either older teen present, but Matt jumps in before Tai can;

"Yes, Tai knows, but he won't utter a word about this to anyone. Besides, without his help you wouldn't know what we're about to tell you." Tai shoots my brother a glare that screams 'I could have said that!', which is barely even registered, much to Tai's annoyance.

'_Admittedly I'__m a bit__ resentful of the fact that Matt would spill all my secrets to his boyfriend without even telling me, but I figure I'll hold off on the rage-attack until he tells me this 'truth'._That would be the case, except now Tai takes over the conversation;

"Well you see Takeru, I've been talking to Dai a lot recently and if I've learned anything, it's that he's completely crazy about you! I know what with him running away and kissing this guy that it doesn't seem like it, but it's not his fault." _'Oh this one I can't wait to hear...'_

Tai picks up on the questioning looks I'm sending him as he quickly raises his hands in front of him to emphasise his defence;

"Let me explain! Here's the story: Dai had a boyfriend a few years ago, before he moved to Odaiba. His name was Archie and things went seriously bad for them, leaving Dai heavily scarred from then on. I'll explain in detail later what happened, but the point is that those emotional scars are what caused him to run out on you." The guilty look that has washed over Tai's features fills me with nerves about what he has to say next. "And well...I called Archie a few days ago, telling him to come across..."

'_Oh crap...think it just clicked. That's obviously what I saw...'_

"...and that's probably who you saw Dai kissing."

'_I...I don't really know what to feel right now. I know that I'm not made any angrier, but this doesn't exactly fulfil all my greatest wishes either. Is he getting back together with Archie? Why was he so scarred? So many questions, and I can't make heads nor tails of any of them...'_

"Takeru?" Matt's voice pulls me from my mini panic attack and I turn to face him once more, expression totally neutral.

"I can't really explain that kiss, but we do know that Daisuke is in love with you – as much as you are with him. It's important that you remember that. That was most likely some kind of goodbye kiss or something."

'_Yeah right, goodbye kisses aren't all steamy like...Wait.' _My stomach ties itself in knots of guilt as my mind flashes back to my final few weeks in Tokushima.

Once we had found out about the move, Sophie and I had agreed to see other people. How could I forget about our final kiss? She had asked for us to share one final embrace so that we would have a good memory to leave our relationship on and so that we remembered one another. Granted I never felt for her anything like what I do for Dai but that final kiss was one of passion. Unmistakable.

'_Shit! How could I have been such a fool? I'm condemning Dai for doing exactly what I've done...I never even gave him a chance to explain himself either.'_

"Oh god, I'm such an idiot! He probably hates me now, as well...I've ruined everything!" I don't start crying, but that's probably because I've done enough in the past week to cover a lifetime...

Matt looks thoughtful, as if trying to clutch onto any straws that will brighten my mood.

"Did the neighbour happen to know how long Daisuke and Jun would be away for?"

"Erm yeah, Jun told him they'd be back a week today."

Tai is the next to offer conversation, even if only an obvious suggestion; "We're gonna need a plan."

All three of us now put our brains hard at work, trying to find some brilliant solution to the disaster in front of us. Soon enough, my eye is caught by a sight on the table. I pick up one of the dozens of identical flyers that are lying around the apartment. Glossing quickly over the text presented to me, I feel another internal 'click' and my face brightens up almost immediately. As per usual, the plan is crazy, potentially disastrous and has no guarantee to work. It's perfect.

"For once...I have an idea." I then whip my head round to face Matt, determination set in my eyes, as well as – for once – hope.

"And I'm going to need your help."

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC:_

_A/N:_

_Yeah, y'all can probably predict the plan, don't be mad at me when it turns out lame :P Sorry if this chapter's pretty terribly done, it's like half one in the morning and I want this chapter online already so there could be a few mistakes! :S_

_I hope that was actually a good chapter, cause it felt like ~5k words of drivel :P So sorry for the long wait, this chapter was just hard for me to get into and write, I will not let you wait that long for the next one!_

_R&R as usual please, hope you enjoyed!_


	9. What About Now?

_**Holding Back **__by __**Daikeru Insanity**_

_Here comes Chapter 8(9)!_

_Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!_

_Holy mother of lord...I'm ashamed that I've let you guys down and waited so long to actually put in this chapter, which is only the final chapter that pulls together everything that's happened! I apologize to all of you that have been actually waiting for this (despite the fact that I still don't find my writing any good) and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint, even though it'll be all fluffy and seriously predictable...Well hush, I like fluff. There'll probably be unsubtle changes in my writing style, and I think this chapter will be a fair bit shorter, despite all the things that happen in it, which is kinda sucky..._

_**As a side note, I've had other ideas stashed away for Digimon fics which I'm really interested in trying to write, but lately I've been wanting to try and write Pokemon fics (My sudden surge in interest in Pokemon is what has really stopped me writing lately) so I was hoping if you actually read this, you could maybe drop me a message and let me know what you think?**_

_Enough of that though, Reviewers!_

_**Takato the Dreamer: **__Thanks, I just hope you like this next one :S_

_**lgaz123: **__I am SO sorry for this wait, I lost inspiration at the completely wrong point -.- Well you can certainly trust me to provide fluff where fluff is due!_

_**LuPaPeSe: **__Hey guest :D Your kind words are too much, really – I'm not deserving since I made you wait so long :( :P I couldn't possibly tell you what music to hear, whatever seems more fitting for my crappy writing :P_

_**TKViedarts: **__I always look forward to your reviews and now I'm sad cause I feel terrible for leaving this so long and I don't want it to not live up to expectations :/ I'll see what I can do though!_

_**Koumi-Locc: **__Thanks for the kind words as usual!_

_**SolR: **__Haha, thanks so much! Yeah, I like there to be a lot of drama too, if you haven't already noticed :P I know it's taken me forever to do this chapter but hopefully it won't disappoint :/_

_**MissVoiceLess: **__Thanks :D I'll assume you like this story then :P And aww, sorry about that girl _

_**Mikey: **__Oh wow, that's a great compliment to get, thank you! Yeah, I was a bit apprehensive about a complete shift from the series but people thankfully don't seem to think it's a travesty! Not sure what this chapter will be like though._

**funni neko:** Thanks! Well here you go, apologies for the wait!

**Guest:** Sorry for keeping you in suspense, though I'm sure you could predict the result!

**KouhakuKudo:** I just kinda lost inspiration but here we are, I finished!

**yolanda:** Well steady haha, I barely even like it, but I'm glad you enjoy it!

**digimon yugioh pokemon lover:** Your words are faaaar too kind, thank you! Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: Nope...Still own nothing in this story, simply borrowing._

_On with the final chapter!_

_Chapter 8_

'_What About Now?'_

_(Takeru's POV)_

'_This is just great...mere days to go, and I'm just sitting here amongst the hordes of crumpled up paper, each attempt proving worse than its predecessor.' _

As I gaze across my wasted effort, I feel as if I'm being mocked in the silence, the urge to just give up and throw in the towel ever increasing.

'_What am I doing? I don't even know how I should be going about this and there isn't exactly much time to lose! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...'_

With a final sigh of surrender, I allow my head to drop to my hands, defeated in both body and soul. Only a short moment passes before I hear the familiar chuckling of the other blond teen present. I weakly greet him, without ever lifting my head; "Hey there, Matt."

"How's it going, little bro? Hit a stumbling block?" My greeting is accompanied by an annoyingly sarcastic grin.

'_Does he __**have **__to be this happy all the time?' "_I guess you could say that, I'm just not sure this is worth the trouble anymore. It was a stupid idea to begin with, I don't even know why we thought it would work!"

"You don't really want to give up though, do you? You'd just prefer everything all nicely wrapped up in front of you, right?" Silence was the only answer that my brother required as he starts one of his famous monologues;

"Right. Nothing in this world worth having ever came easy, Takeru. You give up now, and I know you'll never forgive yourself. I know that it's scary, and it's hard to bare your soul to the one person you don't want to appear vulnerable to, but if you really want to be with Dai, then you'll just have to search yourself and figure out what's important! That's when the words will come. He doesn't need to be singing along and dancing, he just has to understand."

Everything that Matt said had taken a couple of minutes to sink in, yet instead of feeling reassured, all new worries spring to the surface, threatening to set me back even further.

"Yeah, but what if my words just make me come across as some cheesy, blubbering idiot?" Hearing the obvious panic in my voice, my brother dons the most serene tone he can muster, and gently smiles as he speaks to me;

"It won't matter if they do. The words themselves don't actually really matter, so as long as they're sincere." With that, Matt flashes me one last smile before leaving me to my own thoughts.

It doesn't take very long before I'm smiling too, realising now that my panic was for naught and that if I just relax, I'll be able to say the words that matter most. _'I want to be with Dai more than anything, and if I have to stay here another 12 hours, trying to put my feelings onto paper in order to win him over, then so be it!' _And so, with new found inspiration, I dive into a new sheet of paper, finally becoming less critical about the actual words, but instead the emotion behind them. _'I'm no longer doing this because I should, because my brother thinks it's a good idea. I'm not doing this because I can, or want to. It's because I have to – no matter how this turns out, I have to get these words out in the open at last.'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

I'm not entirely sure what hit my bed first once I got home, whether it was my suitcase, or me. The past week out in the country had been exhausting, what with all the climbing, running and hiking I had done. _'Of course none of that was as exhausting as dodging Jun's constant prying...'. _The physical labour wasn't done for any fitness purpose, but simply to try and keep my head clear, and avoid thinking about the can of worms still open here in Odaiba.

Guess what? That plan didn't work.

A week had passed, and everything was still the same, my misery included. My little vacation hadn't helped in the slightest to make me feel any better. In fact if anything, I only pined for my 'Keru more. _'Not that I have any right to call him mine.'_

As if by routine action, I reach underneath the bed to retrieve my cell phone, having been detached from it for too long. Once I graze the device's cold, metal exterior however, I wince, suddenly recalling why I had left it here in the first place. Pushing past said realization, I turn the phone on to be greeted with a long list of missed calls and messages, half from – a probably frantic – Tai. Several of my missed calls came from Takeru however. I rush to check my voicemail, in the hopes that he left a message, explaining his reason for calling. No such luck.

'_He called me five times within the space of ten minutes; I wonder what was so urgent to him at that particular moment? *Sigh* He was probably gonna demand some explanation for what he saw with Archie. Either that or he might have just wanted to call and scream at me, never wanting anything to do with me again. That's about as much as I deserve for how I've treated him.' _

I find my phone screen displaying Takeru's contact, my thumb hovering just above the call button. I want nothing more than to talk to him, to explain myself and get everything out in the open. Would he even listen to me? Or would I just end up even deeper in this hopeless pit of pain? My dark thoughts don't get much time to brew however, as I'm swiftly interrupted by a shrill ringing in my hand. My heart stops for a moment; until Tai's goofy expression is shown with the Caller ID. _'It's a relief really; talking to someone perpetually cheery like him could do me a world of good.' _

"Hey Tai! How's it going?"

"Don't you 'Hey Tai!' me, Motomiya! Where the hell have you been the past week?!" _'Like I said, cheery.' _Tai's furious tone bellows across the device as he rants.

Despite being the lovable oaf of our group, who would give the shirt of his back to anyone in need, when Tai gets angry, he gets **angry**. And given his current tone, plus the drop of my last name, I would imagine he's a tad miffed just now. I probably should have seen this coming, since Tai really doesn't like it when his friends hide stuff from him. _'I suppose that's fair.'_ I feel quite guilty actually, since he's always been there for me and has never judged me either. I'm not sure exactly how long passes before his ranting ends, but when it does I feel thoroughly ashamed of myself.

"I..I'm sorry, Tai. I never wanted to hide it from you, but I just couldn't stay in Odaiba. Everything going on was just stockpiling, and becoming too much to handle. I just needed out. I'm sorry if I had you worried, and I should have told you before I left, you've always been there for me. I was selfish." I plead to Tai, regret saturating my whole body.

"No, what you **should** have done was face your problems instead of running away from them, but that's not the point right now. Apology accepted." _'I'm thankful for that at least. That could have been a more painful confrontation.'_

"On one, small condition." Tai adds, just as I thought I was free and clear. "It's simple, and it requires almost no effort on your part." He continues, not reassuring me in the slightest. I can almost hear his smile, and if I didn't know better, I'd think he could smell my fear through the phone.

'_I know I'm going to regret asking this but...' _"Erm, I guess that's the least I can do. What do you need?" I query, suspicion lacing each word.

"All I want you to do is keep me company while I'm out Friday night. Turns out Matt's busy but I'll be damned if I'm cancelling my plans because of it!" Tai's cheery demeanour returns as he senses his victory closing in.

Cheery, but devious. However I'm not exactly in any position to refuse.

"Alright, I think I can handle that. Where are we going?" _'Might as well know what I've signed on for...'_

"Oh, don't you worry about that! You just make sure you're ready at 7 o'clock Friday night and I'll be there to pick you up!" Tai dodges expertly, obviously willing to divulge no details about his plans. Begrudgingly, I agree to his demands and say goodbye, left to wonder exactly what the soccer player has in store for me on Friday.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

I practically throw myself off of the step, not at all pleased with that latest attempt. It was a total embarrassment, and I feel bad for my brother, having to put up with it.

"That was awful!" I exclaim in despair, hurling my papers to the ground. My brother presents me with a rather unreadable expression.

"Well...yeah." Despite admitting it myself, I still glare at Matt for agreeing with me. I don't understand why it was awful, and that just makes it even worse. "Look, it's not that you're actually bad, it's just that you're not putting all you've got into this. This performance is the cornerstone of your plan, and for something that's had such a traumatic and emotional build up, I felt nothing while you were practicing. If anything, I think we should at least have something to show for our efforts on Friday."

'_It's not like I'm not trying to show how I'm feeling, but it's just a lot harder than I thought it would be. I know Matt's just trying to help though, so getting frustrated isn't going to do any of us any good.'_

"The way I see it, you need to go home, and really think about how much this means to you. What do you want this performance to say to Dai? **That's **what you have to dig deep and focus on, otherwise: how are you ever gonna convince him of how you feel if you can't even convince me?" My brother lays his arm on mine as he talks, ensuring I really take in his words.

'_I guess that makes sense, I've not been able to really concentrate on anything since this whole fiasco started. But I'm gonna have to try now.'_

"You're right, of course...It's just that everything inside my head has been going at 100 miles an hour and I can't seem to get a stable hold on anything." I slump down on a nearby stool, physically drained from my emotional mess. Sympathetically smiling at me, Matt kneels down to get at eye level, and talks once more;

"I know. You're just gonna have to try and force out all these conflicting thoughts. If you can just focus on Dai, then all of these other distractions should just melt away. Go on then, let's have another go!" Matt tops his speech with some much needed enthusiasm and heads off to prepare for another practice.

"Ok, I'll be right there!"

A small smile of knowing spreads across my face as I rise from the stool, because despite my brother's good advice and kind words, he's half wrong. _'Yes, I do have to understand why I'm doing this, and I need to convince Dai of my feelings, but clearing my mind, and focusing on the performance is of no use to me. I know that as soon as I see Dai's face, my legs will turn to jelly and all that I thought was set in stone will disintegrate.'_

"Ever since the day I met you, Daisuke, you've changed everything I know, and there's never been any consistency. I've mumbled and staggered my way through our friendship. I just hope I can mumble my way though **this**." I whisper to myself, and to Dai, wherever he may be as I head back over to my brother.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Yamato's POV)_

"Ok, since we're ready, you just get prepared and I'll be back along in a minute, ok bro?" I ask, to which Takeru simply nods in response.

I head out of the room and round the corner, pull my cell phone out of my pocket and hit 'contacts'. Once I had found my boyfriend's icon, I hit call straight away, and a few moments later, I hear that angelic voice that makes me instantly grin.

"Hey, Yama!" I can't help but blush at that pet name every time...

"Hey there, Tai. Status report on Daisuke?" I ask, eager to ensure that the plan is on track.

"All systems are go, Captain!" I chuckle gently down the phone, unable to resist his child-like energy. "Guess it's all up to Takeru now, do you think he can handle it?"

"I was just talking to him, and to be honest...I don't know. I can give him all the advice in the world, but at the end of the day, if this is what he really wants, he's gonna have to find his own way of getting there."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

Having survived the many visits and rants from my friends in the last few days, it's finally Friday night. I've still no idea what it is that Tai has planned for me. All I do know is that it's important enough for him to turn up at my place two hours early, just to make sure I didn't try to sneak away...

Following Tai's ruthless commands, I had a shower after he arrived, put on some clean, nice clothes and followed him down to his car, which I am now currently sitting in.

Odaiba is lit up like a Christmas tree as we travel it's winding, extremely busy roads on this cool night. _'Well, wherever Tai's taking us, it looks like we won't be the only ones there.'_

After about fifteen minutes of driving (in total silence, I might add.), we finally arrive at..._'the Odaiba Arena? Nope, I'm stumped.'_ Lights are blaring in all directions from the city's stadium, and a huge crowd of people are gathered at the front doors. It isn't until Tai starts to turn for the parking lot that I can get a good enough look at the advertisement posters along the wall of the arena. I didn't get a long look, but I had long enough to clearly identify Yamato and his band.

Tai's brought me to their concert!

As Tai parks the car, he flashes me a quick glance, a nervous smile settling on his face having figured out that I'm fully aware of his plan. _'He brought me to this concert, knowing full well Takeru would be here supporting his brother. Crap.'_

"Damnit, Tai! I thought I'd made this clear, I'm not ready to deal with this yet, it's all still too soon, he's not gonna want anything to do with me." I plead and protest to my idol, despite knowing full well that my labour will bear no fruit.

"Well, I'm no longer giving you the option to run away. In case you haven't noticed, this can of worms has hit all of us. We're all seriously worried about you two; Miyako, Sora, Koushiro, hell even Ken called me the other day all concerned. The point is: nobody is happy with this going on, but least of all you and Takeru. You need to fix this mess before it's too late." Tai gives his whole speech with his hand firmly gripping my shoulder, and his no-nonsense stare locked with my less-than-comfortable one.

'_It's not like I can argue with that, I guess. Suppose I'm just gonna have to get 'Keru after the concert and try as best I can to explain myself...god I hope I don't lose him.'_

"Fine...let's go, before I change my mind."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Taichi's POV)_

'_Wow, that could have been a lot more difficult, but at least I've got Dai in the arena, there's something to be thankful for. Just gotta hope now that Matt and Takeru pull off their part.'_

The inner arena is almost vibrating with all the noise being made, _'from just the crowd as well...'_. We're now trying to scramble our way through the audience towards the front row, where the VIP section is, but with all these screaming fangirls (and boys too...), it is **not** easy. I can't help but notice that they're all proudly parading merchandise of Yama's band, The Teenage Wolves.

'_He's not done badly tonight, for an Odaiba newcomer...'_ Normally, I'd be all giddy with pride at this sight, knowing that everyone here is fawning over **my **boyfriend! Now is not the time however, as every morsel of my energy is focused on getting the spiky haired soccer player in front of me to his seat, and keeping him there.

After practically crowd surfing down to the front, we finally reach our front row seats, and I direct Daisuke to his seat in between me and Sora. The whole group was invited to Matt's first concert, so at least I have some reinforcements if needed.

About five minutes before the concert was scheduled to begin, Dai starts shuffling in his seat;

"Oh, erm...I think I left my wallet back in your car, I'll be back in just a minute!" he stammers as he begins to stand up, only for me to grab him and instantly anchor him down again.

"Sit, or die." With a sudden gulp, Dai slinks back in his chair and shows no signs of trying any other escape tactics.

'_I'll never understand why he's scared of me...I once sent myself to the emergency room trying to make a sandwich...Nevertheless, I can understand his hesitance, but it won't be long now, Dai.'_

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

I'm pacing back and forth backstage, trying to carefully balance my energy between stopping myself from throwing up, or flooding the entire arena in sweat. As may be obvious, I'm a tad stressed at this point. We're mere moments away from the 'make or break' point and I don't think any amount of coaxing from my brother could calm me down now. On the positive side though, I'm at least now sure that this is something I have to do, regardless of how terrified I am to do it!

I stare around at all the technicians and musicians preparing for the upcoming show, trying desperately to focus my attention on **something** besides my plan, which begins to look less and less likely to work by the minute. Before I get close to breaking down and screaming, I'm jolted from my thoughts by Matt's hand clapping down on my shoulder;

"Well, we're just about ready to go on now; we should be introduced in just a minute. Alright, final check, are you really sure you want to go through with this...? I know I've hounded you about it ever since you came up with the idea but I know this is a scary thing to do, and there's no shame in wanting to back out now?" He queries, a worried frown dominating his features.

"Erm, no I'd rather not go through with this. But I know I have to, otherwise, what's the alternative?" I reply as assertively as I can manage. _'I'm not gonna risk losing Dai forever, as a friend or anything else. Matt's done so much for me and put in a ridiculous amount of his time, but would still throw it all away to protect me from any more pain. He's amazing.' _"Don't worry; it'll all be over in a few minutes! Just do me one more favour tonight Matt?"

"Of course, anything! What do you need?" He replies worriedly.

"Just try and catch me if I faint or something!" I laugh and wink at my brother in response. Before he can come back with some sarcastic response, we hear the boom of the loudspeakers signalling that it's time for the night's entertainment to begin.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Odaiba arena! Without any further ado, allow me to introduce your hosts for this evening! They've taken the city by storm, and are here tonight for your listening pleasure, to promote their upcoming album. Please give a warm welcome to Yamato Ishida and the other members of...The Teenage Wolves!"

'_Ouch!' _To say that the crowd screamed would be a gross understatement. I've never heard such a loud roar in my life, and that's taking into account Matt's snoring. Coming to terms with the fact that my hearing may never be the same again, I take my stance at the edge of the huge stage to look on at the band, obscured from the audience's view by a black draping curtain. I can just make out feet and legs in the VIP section of the front row, some of which I assume to belong to our friends. My stomach knots just knowing that one set of those legs belongs to Dai..._'Breath Takeru, breath._

Once the screaming dies down, Matt and the other band members start to thank the crowd for coming and tell them all about their journey to this point, and how none of it could have been achieved without them. Standard band talk I guess. Even though it's all probably pre-rehearsed small talk that I bet their manager forces them to go through, the crowd love Matt so much that they hang on to every word.

However it isn't that long before all the pleasantries are done with and Matt starts the introduction I've been dreading for days;

"Well everyone, we've got quite a show in store for you tonight, so we hope you won't be disappointed! But before all that, there's a special treat for you! Our opening act is a little different to what you might expect. Instead of bringing in a local band to warm you guys up, someone very dear to me has his own, special performance for you. Everyone, please welcome to the stage my little brother, Takeru!"

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

'_Takeru?! He's going to sing here tonight? Well I sure didn't see that one coming. I've never even heard him sing, but if his voice is consistent with everything else about him, he'll be amazing.' _My thoughts start to get a little ahead of me, until I finally see him emerge from the left hand side of the stage, and come to a stop at the microphone stand in the center, right opposite where Tai and I sit. For the first moment or two, I'm overwhelmed with happiness at just seeing him for the first time in close to two weeks! A small smile creeps up on my face, and I almost forget all the awkwardness, until Takeru's wondering gaze finally lands on me, having eventually noticed my presence. I start to fidget in my chair and avoid looking directly at him, not knowing what to think or say. _'Mind you, with the applause in here for 'Keru and him holding the microphone, he would pretty much have to dominate any form of conversation.'_

After another minute or so, Takeru manages to quieten down the crowd and then proceeds to remove the microphone from its stand and step forward.

"Thanks everyone for that amazing reception! Before I start, allow me to just introduce myself a little. As my brother told you, my name's Takeru, and I'm here to sing for you tonight, as well as finally get a few things off of my chest." I start to tighten my grip on the armrests a little, anxious at the thought of our private issues belted out to the world in a musical score.

"You see, when my family moved here to Odaiba, I quickly made friends with someone who's...a little different to most, but in the best way. In the course of a week, that person and I became inseparable, and it wasn't long until I began to feel something a lot stronger for them than friendship." _'Well I guess if nothing else, I at least know for sure now that Takeru likes me, or liked me. The jury might still be out on that one.' _My thoughts run races between Takeru's sentences, trying to make heads or tails of what he's trying to say.

"But a couple of weeks ago, everything started to go wrong." It takes me a couple of seconds, but I then start to realise that everyone from our circle of friends – bar Takeru – is now staring at me. I jump a little from the concentrated attention, trying to differentiate between the sympathetic frowns (Kari, Tai, Sora, Ken, Jyou and Mimi) and the outright accusing glares (Yamato, Koushiro, Miyako, Cody). It's quite intimidating to be honest, but also not all that surprising. _'Guess I can't exactly blame them for being mad, can I? Especially Yamato after everything I put 'Keru through. Also, when all this is over I want to know exactly how the hell they all found out about this?!' _

Either oblivious to the domestic moment occurring between his friends, or just ignoring it, Takeru continues with his confession;

"It's been the most horrible time of my life, and I've been constantly back and forth over everything that's happened." Well that just breaks my heart. I mean, I knew I had been putting him through hell but to actually hear him saying it out loud makes me want to jump on stage and hug him, but I still don't know what it is that he's saying all this for. "And I guess all I have left to say before I start is...I understand. And I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me. I've only known you for about a month and a half, yet I can't imagine a single day without you in my life."

'_He...He's apologising? For what?! I don't know what I'm meant to forgive him for, it was me that made a mess of everything!' _Clearly I was wrong before about being all cried out since as I wipe my eyes, my hand comes back freshly damp. _'He can't imagine being without me? I can barely believe what I'm hearing.'_

Wiping away a solitary tear of his own, he turns and nods in the direction of Yamato and the other band members, and after confirming amongst themselves, they finally strike up an introduction and Takeru takes a deep breath, as if to ready himself.

"Everyone, this is a song I've spent the week writing, in the hopes of somehow adequately putting my feelings into words. It's one of the hardest things I've had to do, but let's give it a shot. This is 'What About Now'."

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

'_Well, actually look at Dai without blacking out, check. Heart laid bare for the world to see, check. Time to try win him back now.'_

I take a deep breath once again to try and steady my trembling body and uneven speech. As the band near the end of the introduction, I prepare at the microphone stand and the entire stadium emanates an eerie silence, listening intently as if every word about to be sung was for their ears alone. In reality, the hundreds to thousands of people in front of me may not even exist, as the only person I care about hearing my voice is roughly 5 metres away, meeting my gaze with focused, chocolate eyes.

"_Shadows fill an empty heart, as love is fading,_

_From all the things that we are, but are not saying._

_Can we see beyond the stars, and make it to the dawn?"_

As I look across the faces of the arena, I see many people having closed their eyes, as if to focus even harder on the lyrics, trying to piece together the painful memories within them. Turning to Matt, I am greeted with an encouraging nod of the head as he mouths _"Keep it up!"_

"_Change the colours of the sky, and open up to,_

_The ways you made me feel alive, the ways I loved you._

_For all the things that never died, to make it through the night,_

_Love will find you."_

Taking another glance into the crowd before starting the built up chorus, I look at the front row, and see smiles and gestures of encouragement from all my friends, all except Dai. He sits motionless, hands on the armrests, but it looks like a relaxed look. His eyes appear puffy from dried up tears, but otherwise his face is neutral, and impossible to get a read on. _'Maybe this wasn't the best idea, but I can't give up now!' _Steeling myself for hopefully the final time this month, I take a deep breath and proceed to the chorus.

"_What about now? What about today?_

_What if you're making me, all that I was meant to be?_

_What if our love, never went away? What if it's lost behind, words we could never find?_

_Baby before it's too late, what about now?"_

I continue through the song at an even pace, trying not to even look at Dai, in fear of overanalysing his body language. If I just get through this, then I can talk with him face to face, actually ask him the questions I need to. It isn't until I get to the bridge of the song that I realise even my friends have started to close their eyes as well, joining the crowd in visualising the story within, just with a little more knowledge than the rest.

"_Now that we're here, now that we've come this far,_

_Just hold on. There is nothing to fear, for I am right beside you._

_For all my life,_

_I am yours."_

As the song begins to wrap up and approach the final chorus, I can feel the weight of the song beginning to get to me, the lead-up to tonight starting to replay in its full glory in my mind. So in order to try keep my head clear, not look at Dai, and not show the entire population of Odaiba how close I am to tears, I also close my eyes for the final lines and finally sing for all I'm worth, showing my emotions through my music, as opposed to conversation, the way Matt's always done.

"_What about now? What about today?_

_What if you're making me, all that I was meant to be?_

_What if our love never went away? What if it's lost behind words we could never find?_

_Baby, before it's too late,_

_Baby before it's too late,_

_Baby before it's too late,"_

After the penultimate line, I slowly open my eyes, to find the entire stadium staring onward, tears in a surprising amount of the fans eyes. This isn't what catches my attention though. I look to the front row to find Dai's seat empty, with the faces of Tai, Sora and the others confused and remorseful. Tai shrugs his shoulders in complete bewilderment and I look to Matt and see him completely stunned just like the rest of them. The final line of the song is quieter than the rest, and is my final plea to my brother, the population of Odaiba, and to Dai;

"_What about now?"_

xXxXxXxXx

Well as far as the band's manager was concerned, the concert was a success. The crowd went wild for each of The Teenage Wolves' songs, but their applause still didn't match that of after I finished my song. Any other day I might have felt good about that, give me something to work Matt up about, but I wasn't exactly celebrating. Dai had run off to god knows where at some point towards the end of my song, and as soon I was off the stage I locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry. Big surprise there, eh?

Now I'm just sitting on the edge of the stage, without even a clue as to where to go from here. _'What about now?' _A small part of me actually believed for a while that our plan would work. Once the concert had finished, Matt and the rest of the guys tried to get me out and comfort me, but I sent them all away. I think Matt and Tai understood that I needed to be alone for a little while since they didn't argue and ushered everyone out, telling me they'd see me back at home. Pretty much everyone has left the arena now, so I'm accompanied by only my thoughts as I look out to the mass of seats where only half an hour ago you couldn't see the floor.

Footsteps start to echo in my ears and I can tell someone is headed for the stage. It must just be a cleaner or one of the technicians gathering equipment. I don't move even an inch from my position until the sound of feet stop and are replaced by an oh-so-familiar voice.

"Wow, we really made quite the mess of things didn't we...?" My head bolts up and around instantly as I hear the soft notes from my burgundy haired friend.

"Dai...But, I thought..?"

"I thought I was about to breakdown and cry, I ran to come and find you, to talk to you!" He chuckles as he responds, noticing how upset I seemed to be, but then obviously remembers the reason for being here as his cheery expression sobers up quickly. "Look, about that kiss that you saw- "

"You don't have to explain anything." I cut in, waving my hand in dismissal. "Matt and Tai explained all about Archie and what happened at Tokyo High."

"And that didn't make you mad?" Dai responds, obviously not getting the reaction he expected.

"How the hell could I be mad at you?" I respond in disbelief, but not in anger. I stand up from my position and lock eyes with the confused teen in front of me. "I was the one that jumped to conclusions before even talking to you and it wasn't fair of me to ignore your calls, when you only wanted to explain. Not to mention that it was also me that initiated everything that happened between us, when you weren't really ready to start anything...Not that I didn't enjoy it." The blush on my face now must be visible from space, and Dai at least noticed it because he chuckles and begins to rub the back of his neck in an appropriately awkward fashion.

A couple moments of awkward silence pass between us, before we both finally stammer out an "I'm sorry!" at the same time, causing us to genuinely laugh together for the first time in too long.

"Alright, how about this? No more apologising to each other over this, we just agree on it all being one big misunderstanding?" Dai suggests, and it's probably the most sensible thing I've ever heard him say. _'Huh, thinking back, that's really all that this drama's been since the beginning, a misunderstanding!' _

"I couldn't have put it better myself, Dai!" I say reassured, and allow as large a smile as I can muster stretch across my mouth, knowing now that all the pain we've felt the last month is now truly in the past!

"So, about that song of yours...Well, it was incredible. You've got such an amazing voice, like I thought, although I didn't know I had such an effect on you 'Keru!" The tanned boys' comment is accompanied by a typically cocky wink, and despite my elation at hearing my pet nickname for the first time in weeks, I wasn't about to let him get away with teasing me.

"Who said that song was about **you**...? I was trying to confess my feelings for Sora you know." Dai was about to put on his offended face and try to argue but once I started chuckling away he knew I had already won and gave up this time.

"Alright alright, very funny, we're even now then 'Keru." As the chuckling dies down, we both must realise that we still haven't settled on where we stand, so our expressions both take on a more serious, but gentle look and we inch just a little closer to each other as Dai resumes conversation. "So, erm, I can take it that you kinda me like then?" His bashfulness is completely unparalleled; I've never seen anything quite like it. Blushing at full force, he looks to me with that soft, curious expression I adore and I can't stop the fluttering in my stomach from once again taking over.

"No, Dai." The teen looks at me in confusion as I pause for a moment before continuing. "I kinda love you." The confusion turns to joy in a fraction of a second, as the words sink in and Dai takes another step closer to me. I don't hesitate in doing the same, and now we are mere inches away from each other, and I can feel his breath against my cheek as he leans in slightly to answer me.

"I love you too 'Keru. I just wish we had both realised earlier." The words ring through my head and repeat over and over. Even though everyone else told me so, and I didn't exactly disbelieve it, I finally know for sure that Dai feels the same way about me as I do for him. The next few moments feel like an eternity, as we stand so close to each other, our feelings for one another finally spoken aloud. As I focus on his breathing, and look into his chocolate brown eyes, I feel my attraction to him throughout my entire body, not all that unlike from our first kiss. However, this time there is no alcohol clouding our judgement, no inner conflict and repressed pain. This time, we're completely aware and more than willing to embrace.

Then, as if both of us had finished the same thought, we smile at each other briefly and then slowly close the gap between our lips.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Daisuke's POV)_

'_I can't believe I'm actually kissing 'Keru! Well, I had kissed him before, but this time everything's clear and we're both doing this cause we know we're in love.' _

It's taking a lot of energy right now to not actually scream from excitement. The kiss is slow and gentle, with neither of us particularly pressing against each other, we're simply feeling one another – discovering what it was we were missing whilst caught up in our drama. It isn't too long before Takeru reaches his arms round my waist and pulls me closer to him _('If that's even possible right now')_. Not to be left behind, I reach one of my hands behind his neck and deepen the kiss, adding just that flare of passion, whilst my other hand stretches up and starts to play with the beautiful golden strands atop his head.

I can hear Takeru moan slightly into our embrace, and it isn't long before I do as well, but not from lust, simply from the longing we've both felt for this moment. I don't know how long we've spent standing kissing and I don't care. There couldn't be a more perfect moment in my life.

xXxXxXxXx

_(Takeru's POV)_

Well, if I didn't know what butterflies in my stomach felt like before, I certainly do now. But these butterflies aren't because I'm scared or nervous, just because I still can't believe this is actually happening to me! After all my uncertainty, I now know for sure that this feeling deep inside of me is without a doubt love. And I couldn't be luckier than to share this feeling with my best friend.

It's taking every ounce of restraint that I have to not stick my tongue in Dai's mouth and deepen our kiss but I know that this moment is about love, not lust. _'It's ok.' _I think to myself. _'There'll be plenty of time for that later...'_

Once we finally and reluctantly pull apart from each other, we touch foreheads and try to catch our breath again. As we lean against one another, we both begin to smile gently as we try to fight the crimson shade creeping up on our cheeks. When I feel I have the strength to stand on my own again, I rise from our position and look around the now completely abandoned arena.

"Hmm, I guess we'd better get out of here before they lock us in for the night." After a moment of consideration, Dai just winks at me as he responds;

"Would that **really** be so bad?" He even sticks his tongue out at the end of his comment, obviously deciding I hadn't blushed enough in the past five minutes.

"You're terrible. Why do I like you, again?"

"**Love **me, remember?" Dai responds with his best innocent face possible. All I can manage to do is laugh and prod him in the chest as I walk past him to leave the arena. It takes a minute for the tanned soccer player to stop laughing and let his brain catch up with his feet.

"Hey, wait up 'Keru'!" He quickly dashes to catch up to me, and when he does, says nothing, just slips his fingers between mine, taking my hand in his as we walk out into the cool Odaiba night. "You know, I'll probably have to come back with you to yours. It's a guarantee that your brother and his boyfriend will want an immediate de-briefing."

"You know about those two?!" I shout out in surprise.

"I kinda walked in on them while I was hanging out with Kari...Now that was awkward."

"Hmm, I wonder why that sounds familiar? Alright, you can come back with me, and let me guess, by the time we finish explaining everything to them, it'll be too late for you to walk home so you'll just **have** to spend the night?" Dai isn't particularly hard to figure out by this stage...

"You know me so well. I knew picking you for a boyfriend was good choice."

And without saying another word, we both begin the long walk back to my house, completely content in each other's company, having taken far, far too long to get here.

xXxXxXxXx

_TBC? I think an epilogue may be in order here._

_A/N: So erm, yeah. Alright, I was wrong about this chapter being shorter! That's basically the last chapter of Holding Back (thank god right?) and almost everything is nicely wrapped up now! Please do let me know what you thought of this chapter, believe me I know it's LONG overdue, I'm just glad I finally found the motivation to write again and finish this. I will be writing the epilogue, do not worry and then I can figure out where to go from there._

**_Also, I was thinking of re-writing the previous chapters of the story, nothing too major, just editing to take out what makes me cringe, and what I think would sound better in my different writing style? Do let me know by review/PM what you think of this idea! :)_**

_Of course I do not own the rights to the song What About Now, that's all Daughtry there._

_So yeah, R&R as per usual, and thanks to everyone that's read this story, for god knows whatever reason haha!_

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